In the kitchen, Alice goes to the sink and turns on the water, but nothing comes out. She asks her mother when the water's going to be turned back on, and Diane says that it will be soon. John comes in, drinking a glass of water; he finishes it and puts the glass down on the counter. Alice asks where he got the water from, and he just says, "I have my sources." In the living room, Mac looks into his almost empty aquarium; the fish are swimming around in about 5 cm. of water.
In the living room, Mac is explaining why no two humans are alike; the phone rings, and Diane answers. It's Geraldine, who tells Diane that there was a fire at her apartment; as Diane is getting details, there's a knock at the door, and when she answers, Geraldine is standing there. They hug; cut to: on the sofa, Geraldine is telling the family that she was lucky to get out with some belongings... and her daughter. Alice is horrified to hear that Jane is at their house; Geraldine says that she's in the car. Alice goes to the door to look out and sees Jane, smoking in the car. Geraldine is telling the family that she can't afford a hotel; John and Alice clearly don't want her to stay with them and suggest cheap motel options; Diane insists that Geraldine stay with them. John pulls Diane into the bathroom...
In the bathroom, John tells Diane that Geraldine can't stay and cites the "Rush Incident" as a reason why. Flashback: in the kitchen, Geraldine is pouring grape juice, and bumps into John on her way out of the kitchen, spilling the grape juice all over his Rush t-shirt. She laughs and walks away. Diane tells John that it was three weeks ago. Alice comes in and says that they can't stay at the house, saying that it took her years to get rid of Jane and her misery. Diane tells them both that they should be ashamed, and orders Alice to go out and invite Jane in. Mac opens the door, and Diane angrily asks what he wants, then shoos everyone out when she realizes that he actually has to go to the bathroom.
Outside, Alice goes to the car to talk to Jane, who says that she was "this close" to dying from smoke inhalation. As she speaks, she blows out a puff of smoke from her cigarette into Alice's face.
In Alice's room, Jane is still smoking, and telling Alice that in a few hundred years, they'll all be dead or extinct. Alice pulls the covers over her head.
In the kitchen the next morning, Alice heads off for school, early. Jane offers to walk to school with her, and although Alice tries to get out of that, Diane says that Alice would love the company. They leave, and Diane heads off for work; John is appalled that she's leaving him with Geraldine. Diane tells him to let the t-shirt incident go and leaves. John tries talking to Geraldine, making reference to having things spilled on her shirt, but it has no impact on her.
At school, Jane is still regaling Alice with deathly facts. Alice sees Karen Field; Karen comments on the coolness of the leather pants that Alice wore at the Miss Smithers competition, then asks if Alice would like to do a "Mainer" on Saturday.
At home, John is scrubbing his t-shirt and still whining about how it was ruined. Alice comes in and excitedly tells them that she's going on a Mainer and then has to explain what it is, and that all the cool kids do it. Jane, sitting on the stairs, comments that she's never done one before; Alice offers to tell her all about it, but Diane tells Alice that she's being ridiculous and that she's to take Jane with her.
In Alice's room, Alice wakes up, and sees Jane staring at her from the end of the bed. Jane claims that she's excited about going on the Mainer.
In the kitchen, Alice tries to get out of taking Jane with her; Diane comments that they used to be so close when they were home-schooled together. flashback to: Little Alice and Little Jane being home-schooled by John who is singing a song about grammar. Alice explains that Jane is everything that she's trying to get away from being; Diane tells Alice she's being a drama queen.
In the bathroom, Alice tries to convince Mac to hang out with Jane; he says that he's going to Wing's house for a sleepover, and Alice tells him to take Jane with him. Jane comes in, and Alice tells her the good news, that she's invited to the sleepover at Wing's house. Mac says that she's not invited; Jane says she'll take a rain cheque, as she'd rather go to the Mainer.
At T.I.T., Alice tells Bob that if she has to take Jane on the Mainer, Karen might not ever hang out with her again; Bob says that might not be a bad thing, as hopes get dashed on the rocks of unrealistic expectations. Alice accuses him of reading that off his calendar; Bob explains his 'fish in the sea' theory of socialization to Alice, and how she's the little fish that will be eaten up and spit out by the big fish, but that Jane is an even smaller fish.
At home, Geraldine comes down to the basement, and asks John what his problem is. He shows her the t-shirt; she asks why he didn't say anything, as she has a whole box of Rush t-=shirts at home since she used to date one of the roadies.
Later on, in the basement, Geraldine and John are getting along great, playing music ans singing. Diane comes home and is surprised to see them so friendly. Diane asks if she can have a beer, but Geraldine tells her that they're drinking the last two bottles. Diane heads upstairs, and Geraldine pulls two more bottles of home-made beer out from under the sofa.
In the kitchen, Alice is still trying to get out of taking Jane with her; Diane tells her to take a page out of John & Geraldine's book, and try to get along better. Jane comes in wearing a black sweater; Diane tells her she looks perfect, then says that Jane and Alice will have a wonderful time. Alice feels that the only option she has left is to make a run for it.
Outside, Alice is sneaking along side the house, but Jane is out on the front steps, waiting for her. Karen and her boyfriend, Lonnie, show up. Alice and Jane get in the truck, making things a little tight in the seating department.
In the basement, Geraldine is telling John more stories from when she was dating the Rush roadie. Diane comes down with dinner, and sees them drinking the beer, but says that she's fine with water. She asks them what her nickname will be, since they're now calling each other "Gerry" and "John-O" but they can't come up with anything but Diane.
On Main Street, Jane is regaling everyone in the car with conspiracy theories. Karen tells them that Lonnie customized the truck himself. Jane asks them to pull over so she can get cigarettes, and once she's out of the truck, Karen comments that Jane's a downer, and Lonnie asks who's in favour of them leaving, and Alice votes yes. Jane comes out of the store and looks around for the truck.
On Main Street, Karen is waving to her friends, who are also doing Mainers. Alice looks bored.
Outside the store, Jane is still waiting. Lonnie drives by and Jane tries to get them to stop, but they just drive by. Inside the truck, Alice is feeling guilty. Jane says she'll catch them next time around.
In the basement, Gerry and John-O are singing; Diane is bored and tells them she's going to bed. They don't even notice that she's speaking, or that she's left.
On Main Street, Lonnie drives by Jane again. Alice is still bored and guilty. She asks Lonnie to stop the truck, and says that she needs to go home and blames her parents for giving her a curfew. Karen tells her it's cool, and Alice gets out. In front of the store, Jane is still waiting and smoking. Alice joins her and apologizes for Lonnie taking off; Jane says she understands that Lonnie was hot for her but already had a girlfriend. Alice non-committally says that that would be a problem.
At home, in the kitchen, Diane is eating breakfast; John and Geraldine come in looking worse for the wear. The phone rings, and Diane makes as much noise as is possible and lets the phone ring quite a few times before answering. She gives the phone to Geraldine; it's the home inspector who tells her she can move back in today. She says it's great news.
Outside, Geraldine is saying goodbye to Diane; Jane asks Alice if she can call her sometime, and Alice says yes. John comes out and hands Geraldine a compilation tape; she promises to bring him the t-shirts. As they pull away, Diane comments that John has never made her a compilation tape, and he pulls one out of her pocket for her. They begin to kiss, and Alice, on her way back into the house, comments, "If Jane calls, I'm not in."