Wing: It took me two days to think of the 'ocean of your beauty' ending. But to be honest, I don't think any ocean is big enough for your beauty.
Alice (thinking): What would Jesus do in this situation?
(she runs from the room; later...)
Alice: Okay, maybe He wouldn't lock Himself in the bathroom, but I'm sure He'd give Himself a little thinking time!
Alice: Please, Mac, please dump Wing for me, please!
Mac (resigned sigh): All right.
Alice: Thanks! Make sure you let him down easy... I don't want him to think I'm horrible.
John: Hey, Finn, what's up?
Finn: What's up? I'll tell you what's up. I don't like the new direction of the band, okay? I was fine with the old direction, when we had no direction. When we just drank beer and played whatever we felt was right.
Marcus: Yeah, when she wasn't here. (pointing at Diane)
Finn: I was trying to be subtle, Marcus, but, yes, when she wasn't here.
Alice: Abelard, hey, are Mark and Becky a... you know...?
Abelard: A couple? Yeah, but they're having problems right now.
Alice: They are?
Abelard: But I'm sure Jesus's love will get them through these rough waters.
Alice: Or, they'll realize that Jesus never meant for them to be together in the first place.
(Abelard looks shocked)
Alice: ...Or what you said.
Marcus: I remember this one gig we did at Valley Green Nursing Home, we were doing this kick-ass rendition of Pink Floyd's Another Brick In The Wall, when suddenly, who walks up on stage to jam with us but Bowie himself!
Skinny Male Fare: David Bowie?
Marcus: Harold Bowie, you know him?
Alice: I am quitting the High On Life Club.
Abelard: Wait... you're breaking up with Jesus?
Girl: Don't go, Alice. Jesus loves you.
Alice: It's not Him, it's me.
(giving advice to the band)
Diane: I think you should all join in on the chorus. It'll give more oomph to the message of the lyrics.
John: Great note, honey.
Finn (coughing into his hand): Yoko!
When Finn calls Diane "Yoko", he's referring to Yoko Ono, who is popularly 'credited' with being one of the factors that caused the Beatles to break up with her constant presence at their recording sessions.