Aliens in America

Raja: Sir, you should know that you are not going to find any evidence of terrorism. But you are going to find some very bad things on there. And that is because I used my computer to visit naughty websites of naked women. Franny: You look at pornography? Raja: Oh yes! It is very exciting to me to see women being made to flaunt themselves. And sometimes, I imagine that it is I who am taking the pictures. That is, of course, after I've tricked them into believing that I am M Night Shyamalan.

Justin: (voiceover) Raja, meanwhile, had decided that if he actually built a model rocket, he wouldn't be lying. Salesman: Can I help you, son? Raja: Yes please. I need some flame-resistant wadding, reinforced cylinders, a really long fuse, detonation caps, and a radio-controlled timing device or simple alarm clock. Salesman: Can you, uh, wait right here? (Runs away in a panic) Raja: Certainly, sir.

Justin: (voiceover) The only real freedom I ever got was once a week at Rocket Club, which didn't even exist. You see, Craig, Dooley, and me just made it up as a cover one time 'cause we wanted to see Charlize Theron naked in the movie North Country. Dooley: Who told you there was nudity in this? Craig: Look at her, she's filthy. I mean, eventually she has to shower. Justin: (voiceover) Turns out, strip mining was not what we thought it was...

Raja: Rocket club was... um... the grandest club in the whole school! Justin: Yes, I agree. Raja: And tonight, we built the largest model rocket that has ever been built in any such a club! Franny: Really? Raja: Ten feet tall, (motioning) this big around. Franny: Why, I hope that's not dangerous. Raja: Oh it is. Mrs. Tolchuck, it is very dangerous. Franny: Well, are they going to send you home with permission slips or what? Raja: We already have an Everest mountain of permission slips! Justin: Yeah, we left them there and I'm ready to pass out hungry. You said you were hungry too, right? Raja: Yes, I am famished because we have built such a glorious rocket and next week, we will be taking pictures for our website and also unveiling our brand new uniforms!

Gary: (to Franny about Justin looking at porn) Um, all guys look at that kind of thing...until they grow out of it.

Mr. Matthews: Can we make this fast? I'm entertaining a lady friend in my convertible... top down!

Claire: Dad, you're still not finished? I want to be a cheerleader this year! Gary: It's a lot to read after three beers!

Gary: (opening a drawer) Ah, another one full of action figures! I used to beat up kids like this!

Franny: (holding up a shirt with the Canadian flag on it) Gary, is this the marijuana leaf? Gary: I think it's the Canadian flag.

Franny: There was a boy on the bus smoking marijuana? Justin: I'm on the toilet! Franny: Don't try and change the subject, mister!

Raja: Does the Emancipation Proclamation apply to all slaves or just those in the South? Mr. Lester: (hesitating) That's more of a college question.

Justin: (voiceover) My mom thought bringing in an exchange student would improve my status at school, but change was slow to come.