All Grown Up! Season 3 Episode 9

Kimi: I'm cold.
Lil: I'm tired.
Susie: I'm thirsty.
Angelica: I'm ugly.

Lil: Guy with the beard made it sound so easy. Does anybody have any idea where we are?
Chuckie: (Holding up map) We're right here on Route 66 North. Or 99 South?
Susie: Two words: home schooling.

Tommy: Look, I picked up a map. Now, we're here.
Phil: In that state shaped like a board game box?
Tommy: Yes, and our moms are here.
Chuckie: In the state that kind of looks like a shoe?
Tommy: Yes, all we have to do is figure out how to get across that big, flat state between them.
Susie: Don't they teach you kids geography anymore?

Angelica: What do you mean you've lost the credit card number?! How are we going to get to Minnesota?!
Susie: Missouri.
Angelica: Whatever "M" state our moms are in!

Lil: Whatever it is, is probably tracking Phil's bag of bones. I told you you should've left that thing.
Phil: I did, but you came anyway.

Phil: Whoa, I love this movie!
Lucy: Movie? Didi, I thought the kids weren't supposed to zone out on this trip.
Didi: Tommy!
Tommy: I downloaded a DVD. I needed something to get my mind off leaving Rachel.
Didi: And the Grand Canyon wouldn't do it?
Phil: Not like Revenge of the Crypt Comber V.

Dil: Boy, are you guys sticks in the mud. This trip's going to be epic. You want to know why? Because this is the Southwest, my friend. Home of UFO crashes, nuclear test sites, frozen alien bodies hidden in government hangars -- along with all my missing socks. We are talking the freaky capital of the freaky world! And I say... (Looks out window) ... Look, Bigfoot! Nix that. Just a really hairy guy with his shirt off.

Susie: Only I wish you guys could all come to New York to cheer me on.
Angelica: New York City? That sure would take the sting out of narrowly mising the chance of singing in the parade.
Susie: Narrowly? You didn't even make it past the first audition.
(Angelica spills drink on Susie again)
Susie: Aah!
Angelica: Were you talking to me?

Susie: Sometimes I can't believe it. I am representing the American Cheese Council. Did you know cheese represents .02% of our gross national product?
Dil: Uh, no.
Lil: Really?
Phil: Fascinating.
Kimi: Did you know that, Angelica?
Angelica: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was just admiring my cuticles. Aren't they lovely? (Spills drink on Susie) Oops.
Kimi: You did that on purpose.
Angelica: Did what?

Tommy: What's going on?
Chuckie: We're all going to the Gracy Day Parade.
Tommy: No way! That's wicked awesome. So, how are we getting there? First-class airfare?
Lil: Staying at swanky hotels?
Betty: Better! We're taking an R.V.!
Angelica: You've got to be kidding.

Dil: Check it out. We can see where we're going and where we've been at the same time! I've been training myself to do that for a whole year!

Chuckie: (About Tommy) Did you see that? Did you? She kissed him -- on the mouth and everything.
Phil: Of all the things that have touched my lips, the thought of someone else's never even occurred to me. I'm repelled... and yet oddly intrigued.

Didi: According to Lipshitz, this could be our last great bonding experience with the kids, Betty. I don't want to miss one natural wonder or cultural highlight.
Betty: Ah, just as long as we make good time -- we got a whole country to cross in five days.
Didi: My, that is a lot of driving.
Betty: That's why I brought my own personal blend of beans. I call it "Betty Blast." A couple of slugs of this... (Slurps) ... and I'm good to go!

Lil: It's the onions, right?
Phil: (Crying) No, I'm just bored to tears!

Kimi: I was over at the bathrooms, and guess who I found digging in the garbage.
Phil: Hey, I was here the whole time.

Betty: Look what we found in the gift shop! Matching hats!
Charlotte: Doesn't it just scream "tourist" in a tacky, yet trendy kind of way?
Chuckie: (Sarcastically) Oh, yeah, this will really help me with the ladies.

Didi: Ah, the Grand Canyon. You know, Tommy, it takes four billion years for Mother Nature to make a rock tower like that.
Tommy: And you're going to make me stand here and watch her make it, aren't you?

Susie: Excuse me, but have you all forgotten what this trip is for?!
Angelica: To make you even more insufferably perfect than you are?
Susie: And to promote the good work of America's hard-working cheese producers.