All In The Family

Edith: I bet I got the best husband in the whole world! Archie: That ain't a bet, Edith. That's a sure thing.

Archie: Friday is supposed to be for my meat loaf! Edith: I know, Archie, but Irene is Catholic. Archie: So I gotta pay for her mistake?

Mike: How come we're not having meat loaf? Edith: Irene's comin' over! Archie: Yeah, the Reverend Mother Forklift!

Archie: (to Mike) Oh, geez. You would eat anything that couldn't escape you!

Irene: I may have to go to confession tomorrow. Archie: Why? Irene: Because I may kill you tonight!

Mike: Irene didn't call you a crook, your conscience did! Archie: My conscience never talks to me!

Irene: (leaving the Bunker house before dinner the second time) This is a great place to eat...if you're trying to lose weight!

Archie: (about Mike) He'd be taking stuff from work too if he only had work.

Archie: Come on, come on, let's eat. Gloria: Well maybe you can but I'm not hungry. Mike: Yeah, me neither. You just killed my appetite. Archie: You couldn't kill that with silver bullets and a wooden stake!

Archie: Maybe you think the world should have ten new commandments. Why don't you go up a mountain and write them? Then jump off the mountain.