Michael Stivic (1971-1978)
Gloria Stivic (1971-1978)
Edith: Remember an old quote I heard 'A house divided by itself falls down'.
Archie: I got another one for you 'A bird that flies in a fog is a dingbat!'
Archie: Remember what the bible says about charity!
Edith: It is always better to give than to receive.
Archie: No, that's Aesop's Fables!
(in the kitchen)
Mike: What's for dinner?
Gloria: I thought you liked hamburgers.
Mike: I do, but not every day!
Gloria: Every other day; last night I made you meatloaf!
Mike: Gloria, hamburger is meatloaf; it's the same thing with a different name! Can't you make something else?
Gloria: Michael, I work all day and then rush around this kitchen like crazy to make your dinner, and all you do is complain!
Mike: Well, you can thank your stupid, pig-headed father for that!
Gloria: Hold it! Don't you call my father names just because you had a fight with him! That's not being fair. And maybe *we're* not being fair; maybe we should look at things from his point of view.
Mike: That would be impossible, Gloria. We'd have to close our minds first!
Gloria: Michael, there are two sides to everything. Remember, it's not only that you didn't give Daddy the money, but you gave it to someone he's dead against!
Mike: Gloria, whose side are you on, anyway?!
Gloria: (visibly upset) I'm on *your* side! I'm always on your side! It's just that I haven't even been home more than ten minutes and already I've had a fight with my father and my mother and now you!
Mike: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...
Gloria: Oh, shut up and eat your meatloaf!
Gloria: IT'S THE SAME THING!
This episode was videotaped on September 22, 1972.
Gloria gives Archie her first of many raspberries.
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