All In The Family

Archie: (trapped in an elevator; trying the elevator phone) Hello? Operator? Carlos: (to Archie) Señor? Archie: Operator? Carlos: Señor? Archie: Would somebody translate for this Spic here and tell him I'm trying to use the phone? Carlos: Is no need; this… uh… "Spic" speak English. Archie: Well, then you oughta know that I'm trying to call for help. Carlos: I try to tell you, the phone only rings in the janitor's office. Archie: Well, then, that's who I'm trying to call. Carlos: I am the janitor.

Mike: Ma, can you remember the name of the insurance guy? Edith: Um... It's a German name... Hinklemeyer. That's it. Archie: Hinklemeyer, okay. (exits) Gloria: Ma, are you sure that's the name? Edith: Yeah. Hinklemeyer, that's it... Or Swanson.

Carlos: Let me expplain something to you, Mister. 1: How many children we have is 'cause we love each other very much. 2: You talk very intelligent, Mister, but you're not so smart.

Archie: I saw a lot of action in the war. Hugh Victor Thompson III: During KP or latrine duty? Archie: As a soldier in the Army Air Corp, that's the only place we'd see you people. Hugh Victor Thompson III: As an officer in the Intelligence Division, I would never have seen you.