Allo! Allo!

Crabtree: I hear that the Germans are licking for Ronnie. I have brought for him a disgeeze - it is a poloceman's outfart. Woring it, he can week out of the coffee and down the stroot. Wish him good lick from moo!

(the Germans discuss the French general) Colonel: He has a big nose. Herr Flick: All French generals have big noses. Helga: He is tall and dressed as a French general. Herr Flick: With this description we should be able to find him.

Bertorelli: Herr Flick, the secret-a police! I hear all about you. How are you gettin' on, eh? What for-a you tell me he a nasty man? He has a kind-a face, like a little angel! Take-a the seat and make-a yourself at home. What can we do for you? Flick: What I have to say for the ears of the Colonel, not for a Wop in a feather hat!

Mimi: There is an old country verse. It is very good luck when someone is dead to have a white duck at the end of ze bed. Stormtrooper: It is not white. Mimi: There is a war on.

(Alphonse takes the ducks temperature - by sticking a thermometer up its rectum) Rene: Well that has stopped him snoring. Edith: It may have interrupted a nice dream. Rene: Yes it probably started one, actually.

(working out a plan to escape) Fairfax: I have an idea running round my head. Carstairs: Well, trip it up and let's hear it!