Post-Matrimonial Depression

Season 5, Episode 7, Aired

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Edith is upset since her plot to secretly re-marry Ren has backfired. Ren himself is far more upset, though, as he learns that Denise has escaped from the mine shaft where Michelle held her captive. It is not long before a Communist hit squad shows up at the Cafe to get back at Ren, but Edith and the others tell them that Ren is dead. Ren then has to dress up like and old man so he can pose as his own father. Meanwhile, Von Strohm is worried since Ren is the only one who knows where the paintings are, so he orders Helga to follow and protect him and write down his last words in case he should end up dead. So of course Helga has to don a costume too; dressing up as a hooker (plus a mechanical poodle and Gruber dressed as her pimp). Herr Flick gets involved too; assigning Von Smallhausen to take pictures of everyone Ren comes in contact with. Despite all of this, Denise and her girls manage to capture him in front of everybody. Luckily for Ren, though, Denise realizes that the failed marriage attempt wasn't his fault - it was the fault of Edith, Mimi and Yvette! She announces her intention to kill all three women before dumping Ren out of her Communist truck as she leaves town to campaign for head of the Comunist party.moreless
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    • TRIVIA (4)

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    • QUOTES (7)

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      • Denise: I have bad news, I must go to Lyons for the Party conference. I have been nominated to be Party chairman. Rene: Oh dear, can you not get out of it? Denise: No. All is ready for me. The ballots have been rigged, the moderates are under lock and key. The democratic process must take its course. But I shall return, for revenge, and for love! Rene: I can hardly wait.

      • Crabtree: Will you please stop bonging the bill! Or I shall lick you up for disturbing the puss. Rene: Officer Crabtree, it is I, Rene Artois. Will you lock me up, please? Crabtree: Are you confessing to some cream? Rene: Yes, cream galore. Crabtree: In that curse, you must fill in a foam. Here is a list of creams. I will tick what you have din. Murder? Rene: No. Crabtree: Minslaughter? Rene: No. Crabtree: Roop? Rene: No. Crabtree: Biglory? Biglory with minaces? Handbog snitching? Arsin?

      • Edith: Rene! Rene! He is dead! He is dead! Rene: I am not dead, you silly cow!

      • René: The head of the Communist Resistance is trying to kill me. Colonel Von Strohm: Don't worry, you'll get used to it. They are trying to kill us all the time.

      • René: Excuse me. Is this the secret headquarters of the Gestapo? Von Smallhausen: It was until now.

      • Officer Crabtree: To be honest, we're not at all satisfied with these De Gaulle Resistance people. We're thinking of taking our business elsewhere. The communists seems to have more go in them. Fairfax: Communists? I don't like the sound of that. Daddy could lose his seat. Officer Crabtree: Parliament? Fairfax: Wimbledon!

      • René: Can't you see that I am my father?

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