Ally McBeal Season 5 Episode 9

Nelle: How long will this firm be held hostage by that woman's insanity?
Corretta: B*tch.

Jenny: I will see what furniture I want when I want.
Glenn: I catch with so much as an ottoman, we're done, simple as that.

Victor: Good news, bad news.
Ally: Oh no. All right, I'll take the bad news first.
Victor: Your plumbing's shot.
Ally: Ugh. Good news?
Victor: I'm not speaking as your gynecologist. Heh heh? Plumbing humor.

Richard: If I wanted to be micro-managed I'd ask to have sex with you.

Richard: You know, Ally, no matter how low I set the bar of common sense, you amaze me in your ability to slither under it.
Ally: Thank you.

Ally: My therapist thinks that I see myself in this house. You know, a total fixer-upper.
Victor: But not a teardown.
Ally: Not a teardown.

Ally: That's another thing about men, they can't be romantic about the wind unless they're breaking it.
Milter: Vulgarity.

Richard: (about Victor) Did he come with the house?

Ally: I want to make love to the house. I'm, a, uh...
Milter: An edifisexual. (Ally smacks him) Trying to help. Trust your therapist.

Ally: You what Robert Kennedy once said? He said, "Some people look at things the way they are and say, 'Why?' I see things the way they never were and I say, 'Why not?'"
Milter: Understood. But he would have hated this place, it's a dump.

Elaine: Buying a house, Ally, that's something that two people usually do.
Ally: You know, Elaine, they do sell houses to single people. It's been known to happen.

Ally: Well, what do you think?
Richard: It's a dump.
Ally: Oh, Richard, just, y'know, just use your imagination.
Richard: I'm using my imagination. Otherwise, it's a condemned dump.

Michael: Had we met, I'm sure it would have been a great honor.