Ally McBeal

(Richard comes to Ally for advice on Whipper) Ally: You want me to talk to her? (Richard scowls) Ally: I'm actually not such a disaster when it comes to other people's lives.

Ally: Do you really need that piece of paper? Janie: Maybe not. But I want it. I want it. Ally: Okay. Why? Janie: When I make that vow to love [Michael] forever... I want it recognized, not just by him and me, but by our families, by the world.

Richard: You locate way too much of your self-esteem in your neck and it's hurting you. You have perfect breasts, the ripest rump in the Eastern Seaboard. Your stomach can make a washboard jealous and your hair flows like an untamed river. You are more than just a pretty neck and you need to know that. Whipper: You left out my eyes. Richard: (laughs) Oops. Whipper: And you left out my lips and my soft, soft Midas-touch hands. And my thighs. But most of all, nookie, you left out my knee. (knees Richard in the crotch)

(Billy and Ally discuss a case) Billy: This is insane! Ally: We're lawyers, Billy. That's our job -- distort the law beyond common sense.

Elaine: What women want is commitment, Richard. Richard: Oh, that is such an overused trite generalization -- 'they need commitment.' Wha-- what does that say about women? Elaine: That they'd rather be monogamous, unlike men, who want to procreate with anything that moves. Richard: Exactly. You said that, not me. Don't be calling me chauvinistic.