Ally McBeal

Milter: Christmas is nothing compared with Christmas Eve. Ally: Isn't that pathetic? Milter: Of course not. You're embracing the spirit of having a relationship in liu of actually having one. Ally: Again, isn't that pathetic?

Glenn: I begged him not to do this. Elaine: He's not... terrible. Jenny: No, he isn't. You said he couldn't hit a note. Elaine: He's hitting one of mine.

Raymond: I think I should sing. You look good when you sing up there. I think I should do it. Glenn: Raymond, you're tone deaf. Raymond: Whatever.

Jenny: Are you telling me there's not one nice, funny, smart, decent-looking guy? Ally: No, of course there is. Jenny: Well, where is he? Ally: Detroit.

Jenny: I don't have time for you to stumble your way along, so I'm just going to tell you why you're in here. Guilt is stopping you from pursuing Ally, and a lot of that guilt would go away if I were to start dating somebody. I get it. But for you to come in here and try to fog me off on your best friend so that you can shag Ally with a clean conscience is despicable, Glenn, and it's not who you are. So, I can only assume that you're thinking with the one part of yourself that I no longer associate with. Now, I'm late for court.

Ally: We say that we want to have an evolved sensitive companion to share our feelings with, and we do, but underneath that we still want a guy who can beat up the other guys, if need be.

Raymond: She seems like a real woman. Glenn: Well, isn't that good? Raymond: Yeah, it's just that, uh, we're not real men. Glenn: Well, what are we then? Raymond: We're the guy girls go out with for three months, have the time of their lives, until they grow up, meet the man they'll marry. Ally? She's already grown up. Glenn: Oh.

Jenny: Raymond, now it all comes down to your testimony. Do you think you could possibly come off homo sapiens?

Ally: I have a very strict policy against fun.

Jenny: Raymond's being sued for sexual harassment, big shock, but he's hired me to defend him which actually is a shock.

Jenny: You're a woman, for God's sake. Be a man.

Glenn: As long as you're not looking for a notch on your belt. Raymond: Please, my belt is all talk. You know that better than anybody.

Nelle: One of us has to move. One would think it would be the gentleman. Raymond: I'm standing nose to nose with a drop-dead gorgeous woman who smells good. A gentleman would be a fool to move.