Ally McBeal Season 4 Episode 11

Larry: It's where you display it, that's the key. See, if you put it on the mantelpiece it says to the world this is who or what you are, and you're way more than this. If you stick in a drawer, that says this is something you've done, accomplished, and in a drawer it doesn't tarnish so easily. I mean, keep it, Elaine, it's yours, you won it. Just don't hold yourself up to it.

Mr. Bo: The toad and I already ate.
Melanie: Could you do me a favor and not call him "the toad."
Mr. Bo: Oh, but it so fits.
John: Such a kookball!
Mr. Bo: Well, at least "toad" is a real word...
Melanie: All right, okay, all right, no "kookball" no "toad." You got it?

Ling: This isn't fair, she's getting Chubby. What do I get?
Elaine: You'll get your Chubby later.
Ling: I want that one.

John: Mr. Bo, I am going to say something to you my father once said to me. You are a total kookball.
Mr. Bo: Is that even a real word, "kookball?"
John: If it was good enough for my father, it's good enough for you.
Mr. Bo: Hey, you got supper plans? I got a piece of salmon for the hibachi.
John: Homeless people eat salmon now?

Richard: Unbelievable. He's really not dead.
Ling: Are you sure?

Ally: Richard, I'm going to ask you one more time, did you hire me based on my looks?
Richard: (sighs) Ally, did we know each other in law school?
Ally: Not really.
Richard: Mmm-hmmm. Did I interview you for the job?
Ally: No.
Richard: Did I ask to see a reference or a transcript?
Ally: No.
Richard: So, all I had to go on was looks. Why bite the hand that wants to touch you?
(Richard fingers Ally's wattle, she slaps him away)
Ally: So, this had nothing to do with my ability as a lawyer.
Richard: What ability? I'm still looking for that. Kidding. Ally, you, Ling, Nelle, you're smart. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. But you have to remember, people hate lawyers. The clients think their lawyers are only out to screw them. It's just easier being screwed by a beautiful woman. Vulgarism, but ...
Ally: (turning to walk out) I can't believe this.
Richard: Don't tell me you don't trade on your looks every day, Ally. You wake up each morning, you pull out the lip gloss, the rouge, the blush. What for, to brush up your intellect?

Nelle: I do not like my eggs with Spam, I do not twist with Sam I Am.

John: Where's the concern for my welfare? I ask you that.

John: (To Melanie) You disparaged my nose.

Melanie: He's completely harmless, John.
John: So are post office employees right up until they eat fast food.

Ling: I have an incredible instructor, Sam Adams. He teaches...
Nelle: You take dance from a dead president?
Ling: What president? Sam Adams is a beer.

Richard: (to Elaine) Are you really that dopey or do you just say silly things to go with your outfits?

Melanie: Mr. Bo!
Mr. Bo: Mel, sweetheart.
Melanie: Hi!
Mr. Bo: Sweetheart.
Melanie: Oh, you don't smell good. Last shower?
Mr. Bo: Christmas.

Jerry: Richard said you're a good attorney with an excellent grasp of the superficial.
Ally: Hmmm. Did he?