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John: It's not a year for skipping Christmas.
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Elaine: My whole life is pretty much just an act.
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Jenny: Let's face it, Glenn, you're prettier than me.
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Jenny: Look, Elaine, when a guy moves on somebody else's girl, they usually settle with fists. With women, they talk things out. I prefer the guy way.
Elaine: You're gonna hit me?
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Glenn: Come on.
Elaine: It's Christmas, dammit.
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Judge Walsh: Mr. Mayor, please use real words, sir.
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Elaine: What happened to everybody's holiday spirit?
Jenny: Just keep your grubby horny little paws off Glenn.
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Elaine: Glenn, to women you're a stocking stuffer.