Ally McBeal

Larry: Personally, I myself admire virgins, privately, I collect them.

Ally: (to Larry) How dare you make me apologize to that vile rabid yak!

Richard: Let me tell you something about women, Mark. Don't talk to them. They'll talk back. Women should be obscene, not heard... Fishism.

Nelle: Who's that? Ling: I don't know, some guy who has yet to drool over me. Nelle: Ling, do you think every man wants you? Ling: Yes.

Ally: You, uh, know Nelle? Larry: I met her in your office today and she invited me for a drink. She seems nice. Good hair.

Ally: Well, um, I have a really big day tomorrow. We're gonna depose Kimmy and then I might get deposed so I should probably go kill myself.

Ally: It's when he got strict with me I knew I liked him. I hope this doesn't mean deep down I want to be spanked.

John: Platonic love affairs have been known to exist. There are, perhaps, countless reasons to pursue this woman, and only one not to, but as flaws go, SHE HAS A PENIS!

Mark: What are you doing? John: Well, I'm either playing ping-pong or I'm hanging upside-down. Would you like to guess or use up one of your life-lines?

Larry: (to Ally) The son'll probably live longer.

Cindy: (to Nelle) My penis makes you nervous.

Michael: Jonathan and I both agree that you might be the most amazing woman on earth and it would be a tragedy if at least one of us didn't get you. Ally: Now that was a good answer.

Larry: Well, if you need a sympathetic ear I can fake it. Ally: Thank you.

Kimmy: (to Ally) I'm suing you for defamation, you total *****!

Ally: I almost joined, Kimmy, especially when you promised me that free spermicide underneath the table, but when I went down there to get it I found you munching away on my boyfriend. Kimmy: Ally was always such a little kidder. Ally: You know, I would love to stay and chat, but I'm on a date with a father and son team and tonight they brought the sister which... well, things could get pretty wild.

Ally: One day I will look back at this and laugh... or cry. One or the other, I'm sure of it.