American Dad!

Season 2 Episode 2

A Smith in the Hand

Aired Monday 9:30 PM Sep 18, 2005 on TBS



  • Quotes

    • Steve: Hey, dad, I need you to sign this permission slip. They're teaching sex education at school.
      Stan: Hmm. Could you give us a moment, Steve? (Pulls lever, Steve falls through trap door)
      Francine: What was that for?
      Stan: He's only 14. I don't want some unionized pervert teaching my son about nature's filthy secret.
      Francine: But, honey, Steve is at that age. And they're just trying to give him a little knowledge.
      Stan: "They"? Who's "they"? The smut-peddling flag burners, or the God-killing tree huggers?
      Steve: Tree huggers, I think!
      Stan: Well, it's clear what must be done. We have to burn the school to the ground.
      Francine: Stan!
      Stan: Fine, fine, we'll talk to the principal.
      (Francine leaves)
      Stan: (Takes out his lighter) Soon, my pet. Soon, I will feed you the world.