Black Mystery Month

Season 3, Episode 13, Aired

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  • Trivia

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  • Quotes

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    • Man: (to class) How many of you kids have ever even seen a black person? (everyone raises their hands) Man: That's right! None of you!
    • Stan: (to Steve) Don't forget to brush your teeth or goblins will kill your mother.
    • Stan: Steve, how many times do I have to tell you? If children get less than 8 hours of sleep, their boy glands emit a pleasant berry scent that attracts pedophiles.
    • Stan: If only there was a place where you could make any outrageous claim you want, with absolutely no proof, and millions of people would accept it as fact. Steve: That's it! (Scene changes to Steve typing his report online to Wikipedia)
    • Steve: When were you going to tell me you were part of the Illuminutty? Stan: Steve, that's crazy... I was never going to tell you.
    • Steve: I can't believe there's lava under Washington, D.C. Stan: Where do you think all the hot air comes from? (Stan & Steve laugh)
    • Stan: Great work, Steve! All we need now is a 20-foot peanut with presidential aspirations. To the Iowa caucuses!
    • Stan: (Reads clue) "Lastly, tip your hat in the Garden of Eden." Steve: It's the last clue! Stan: Duh! Really?! Sorry, it's been a really long night.
    • Steve: (To the strippers) Uh... excuse me, ladies? If anyone has left a toddler locked in their car, he, uh... he just found your stash. Stripper #1: Oh, my God! Stripper #2: My baby! Stripper #3: My meth!
    • (At a strip club) Stan: Well, no flagpoles in the VIP room. Steve: It took you 45 minutes to figure that out? Stan: No, and it also didn't take me $300.
    • Steve: Why did we have to come to a Burger King to read the map? Stan: Because the economics of television have changed, Steve. (To the camera; reluctantly) Have it... your way! (Raises Burger King drink and gives a thumbs up)
    • Steve: Dad, what the hell is going on? Stan: Look, you're in over your head. Forget about your report on Carver. Just do it on Will Smith. Oh, wait, you need a black guy.
    • Steve: What's going on? I have an appointment with the Curator. Detective: The Curator was murdered. Steve: Oh, my God! Someone killed him?! Detective: Funny, I never said he was murdered. Steve: Yes... yes, yes, you did. God, he's wedged into the mouth of a giant bust of George Washington Carver! Detective: That's classified. How'd you know that? Steve: I can see it from here.
    • Roger: Hey, Hayley-kins, want to play Jenga? Hayley: That game's kind of lame. Unless you want to make it a little more interesting. Roger: Uh... no, thanks. Hayley: I thought you loved to gamble. Roger: Oh, is that what that means? Oh, I thought you were hitting on me. No, sure, yeah, let's play.
    • Francine: If anyone needs me, I'll be celebrating in the bathtub. Klaus: Why would anyone need you? Francine: Shut up, Klaus! Ooh. (Grabs wine bottle labeled "Told Klaus to Shut Up")
    • Roger: Hey, Steve, you want to play that game where you start with a tower of blocks and one by one you take them out and stack them on top until it collapses? Steve: You mean Jenga? Roger: Well, I think it's pronounced "Henga," but if you want to crap all over the Spanish language, go ahead.
    • Man: (To class) The average white man thinks about sex every six seconds, but he only thinks about sex with a black man once a year. Steve: (To Barry) I have no idea what he's talking about, but I feel terrible. Man: So, the next time you privileged, suburban, white boys think Beethoven wasn't black, maybe you should look in the mirror!

  • Notes

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  • Allusions

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    • The A-Team In the strip-club scene, the members of The A-Team are all present. In the establishing shot, Hannibal is front left, Faceman is front right, B.A. (wearing a grey baseball cap) is back left and Murdoch is back right (wearing his brown leather jacket and blue baseball cap).
    • Terminator 2 The way Jimmy Carter thrashes in the lava is similar to the death of the T-1000 in Terminator 2.
    • Raiders of the Lost Ark Stan and Steve holding the cane up during sunrise to show the jar's location on the map is a reference to Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Indiana Jones uses a medallion on a staff to pinpoint the location of the ark of the covenant.
    • National Treasure The large cavern surrounded by stairs (complete with elevator) is taken from the 2004 film National Treasure, in which several treasure-hunters search for the riches accumulated by the Knights Templar, and hidden in the new world by the Freemasons.
    • The DaVinci Code The death of the museum curator is a parody of the opening to the Dan Brown book The DaVinci Code, and the subsequent movie of the same name. In the book, as well as the film, the curator of the Louvre is shot, and as he dies, he positions his body into a curious configuration, and writes a clue in anagram to others in his own blood.
    • The Illuminutty The group chasing Stan and Steve during this episode are called "The Illuminutty." This makes a comical reference to "The Illuminati," the most secret society in the history of the world, who have ties to governments and cultures all over the world. Illuminati members were responsible for creating the design on the back of the American dollar bill.
    • Episode Title: Black Mystery Month This title is a take on "Black History Month" (February).

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