American Dad!

Roger: In the words of every sitcom character in the early 90s, and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the 90's...'Don't go there'.

Stan: I hate the last day of camp. You better write me when you get home, H-Rod. Hot Rod: We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything. Stan: Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. (Steps on soapbox; to the camera) Just like the rest of the world. Shame on you!

Stan: Hey, champ. Camp love can be tough, huh? Steve: How would you know? You got your camp love. Stan: Actually, I didn't. Steve: What? Stan: I loved Amy Bennett, but the part I didn't tell you was she didn't love me back. She broke my heart. Steve: Wow... I guess I ended up having your camp experience after all. Stan: Yeah, I guess you did. Hey, Steve, you know the good thing about first love? It's the first of many. Steve: So, how'd you get over Amy? Stan: Well, son, as you grow older, you'll find that the hurt fades away... (Screams) Why, Amy?! Why don't you love me?! (Starts crying) Steve: It's going to be okay, Dad. Stan: Don't you dare patronize me! Amy! Amy! I don't want to live! (Continues crying)

Steve: Dad, you have to help me get Makeva back. Stan: But I don't know what to do. Steve: (Slaps Stan; mockingly) "I don't know what to do." You can act like a man! Stan: There's no hitting at Camp Refoogee. Steve: Look, the Bawango rebels ruined our camp and took one of your campers. Are you going to let them get away with that? (The refugees gather around Stan) Stan: Don't move, Steve. Just give them your credit card and we'll cancel it when we get home. Steve: Dad, these are your campers. They're rallying around you. Stan: Oh, yes, right, right. Thanks, fellas.

Steve: Dad, they just kidnapped Makeva! Stan: All right, I understand "kidnapped." But what is "Makeva"? Ugh, I bet that little girl they stole could have told me.

Stan: Right on time. I ordered an air-drop from the CIA. We're in desperate need of supplies. Skittles: Uncle Stan, is it fresh water? Stan: Better. Skittles: Malaria pills? Stan: Better. Skittles: It looks like fruit. Woman: Are they Hitler melons? Stan: No. What? They're tetherballs.

Francine: Just so we're clear, you will not return home from Africa without my son. Hayley: I'm going with you. If I can just hold a refugee's hand and look them in the eye, they'll know someone cares. Stan: (Laughs) Okay, Bono, settle down.

Stan: Steve, camp is an amazing place. You get to swim in the lake, drink bug juice, ring the bell if you win the Camp-A-Lympics. Oh, and then there's "camp love." It's such an intense experience, like winning the Grammy for Best R&B performance, duo, or group. Steve: Dad, for the last time, you were not in Boyz II Men. Stan: (Sings) Whatever.

Stan: Good news, I found a camp that still has an opening. Steve: Dad, I don't want to go to camp. It's hot and there's always something crawling in your sleeping bag, like a spider or a counselor. Just let me tend to my posies. (Leaves) Francine: Stan, he doesn't want to go to camp. Stan: But I spent my summers at camp, and I had the time of my life. I want him to have that same experience. And besides, gardening's gay. Francine: I'll have you know, James Coburn had a garden. Stan: I'm sick of your lies about Coburn!