American Dad! Season 4 Episode 9

Stan: My sanctuary is ruined! You are the most selfish thing I have ever met.
Roger: What are you talking about? I offered you a fig! I offered him a fig, Francine.
Francine: Is that true, Stan? Did he offer you a fig? Because that sounds like the opposite of selfish. That sounds nutritious.
Stan: All you ever do is defend him.
Francine: Oh, I do not!
Stan: Please, you're always doing it.
(flashback)
Roger: (running to hide behind Francine, dressed as Picasso) Aaaaaa!
Stan: Roger painted me in my sleep!
Roger: My canvas is life. I'm an artist.
Francine: Leave him alone, honey, he's an artist.
(flashback)
Roger: (running to hide behind Francine) Aaaaaa!
Stan: Roger stuck a syringe in my chest!
Roger: I was playing Pulp Fiction. The bitch was OD'ing on me and I gave her a shot in the heart.
Francine: Leave him alone, Stan. He thought you were an OD'ing bitch.
(flashback)
Roger: (running to hide behind Francine, dressed as an Indian) Aaaaaa!
Stan: He took my hair!
Roger: He took my land!
Francine: Leave him alone, honey. You took his land!