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Stan: (leaves AJ with Coco) I need you to watch this baby. And don't try to have sex with it, 'cause it doesn't have any money.
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Bullock: I guess I'll just have to settle for some tight, white meat. Excuse me, are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only ten I see.
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Miriam: This is what you were doing while I was a hostage?!
Bullock: No, no! I didn't meet her until after you came back.
Miriam: What?!
Stan: Ooh, no.
Bullock: Sugar lump, I only strayed because your absence was unbearable. My life was wretched, too, you know.
Miriam: There's a difference, Avery. I was forced into a filthy hole. You went in by choice!
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Coco: I'm bored. Get me a movie.
Stan: Where am I gonna get a movie around here?
Coco: You're supposed to keep me happy. Or do I need to call Avery?
Stan: Fine.
Coco: Something with Matthew Perry.
Stan: Got it. Fools Rush In.
Coco: Something good!
Stan: Got it. Nothing.
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Klaus: I wonder if I'm a top or a bottom? If I had to guess, I'd say bottom... a reluctant bottom.
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Coco: I'm going to go soak it in your tub. (takes off her top)
Klaus: And just like that, I'm gay.
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Bullock: Stan, this is Coco.
Coco: (to Stan) Got any cigarettes?
Stan: Uh, no.
Coco: Then go suck it.
Bullock: (to Stan) Isn't she great?!
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Francine: Our Valentine's Day getaway is just around the corner. Oh, I can't wait to be alone with you at Lake Frasier.
Stan: Me, too. The bed in our cabin has a solid oak headboard, and we're not leaving that lake until you get a concussion.
Francine: Oh, Staniel!
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Roger: Do you have time for a complicated scheme that will solve all your problems?
Stan: Roger, this is no time to sell me on Christianity.