Stan: (Picks up telephone) This is Stan Smith.
Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son.
Stan: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years. (Starts chugging down pills)
Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office.
Stan: I see. (Foam starts coming out of his mouth) Henry, antidote!