American Dad!

Season 1 Episode 3

Stan Knows Best

Aired Monday 9:30 PM May 08, 2005 on TBS



  • Quotes

    • (Stan is disguised as a Russian at a grocery store)
      Stan: (In Russian accent) Paper or plastic?
      Hayley: Burlap.
      Stan: (In Russian accent) I, too, share your annoying concern for the environment.
      Hayley: Dad?
      Stan: (In Russian accent) No, no. I am former communist named Petrov. Like you, I embrace insane left-wing philosophies which are best discussed in comfort of parents' home.
      Hayley: Dad, leave me alone.
      Stan: (In normal voice) All right, I've had enough of this. You're coming home with me right now or else.
      Hayley: Or else what?
      Cashier: That'll be $38.40.
      (Stan takes Hayley's credit card)
      Hayley: Hey!
      Stan: Or else you can't use this. Your mother and I gave you this card, and I can damn well take it back.
      Hayley: Fine, I don't need your money.
      Stan: Good, 'cause I'm completely cutting you off.
      Cashier: Petrov, go restock that stuff.
      Stan: (In Russian accent) Can't Susan do it? I on break in, like, two minutes.