Geologist: The rest of this pit will collapse any moment. We've got to get that man out of there or he'll be buried alive.
Hanson: We fill that pit with foam, your man will float right to the top.
Geologist: I don't think that will work.
Hanson: Neither do I, but I've got a truck full of foam and six kids to feed. Come on. I need this.
Steve: What if we just lower the rope?
Hanson: A rope made of foam?
Steve: Stop. Okay, just...stop.
Francine: Stan, can you please talk to your daughter. Look at her!
Stan: My God! Get that slut shrapnel out of your face this instant!
Hayley: It's just a nose ring.
Stan: It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about.
Francine: (to Hayley) Listen to your father. Sting's become a bit of a douche.
Ivan Drago
During Stan's song about the Cold War, America is represented by Uncle Sam, and Russia is represented by Ivan Drago. Ivan Drago was the Russian boxer in Rocky IV who sparred with and killed Apollo Creed who's costume was an Uncle Sam outfit.
School-House Rock
The song Stan sings to teach the kids about Oliver North is done in the style of the old School-House rock 'edutainment' cartoons. Roger's "Crap, that's the end." specifically parodies the "Interjections" installment.