American Dad!

Season 2 Episode 3

With Friends Like Steve's

Aired Monday 9:30 PM May 07, 2006 on TBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Steve: (slaps the pill out of a kid's hand) Don't take that! It'll turn you into one of them!
      Kid: Thanks, but if you touch me again, I'll cut your nipples off. (pause) There's a reason I'm in here.
      Steve: I've gotta get out of here! My family are in danger!
      Kid: This family of yours... do they have nipples?

    • Hayley: Girls, put those drinks down! We're supposed to be objectively studying this elitist sub-culture!
      Hayley's Friend: We're not objects! We are women! Hear me... (throws up) ...Huurgh!

    • Barry: Yes, Francine's first on my list. My list to kill! My name is Barry.

    • Stan: Man, I'm getting hungry. Hey, let's go dig up your mother so she can make us breakfast!

    • Barry: Thanks for driving me home, Mr. Smith. We're going faster than people.
      Stan: Quiet, fatty fat-fat fatty!

    • Stan: (About Barry) Careful, Steve! He's as mad as he is fat.

    • Steve: (To Barry) Hey, that's my dad's Tara Reid collector's plate. You can't touch that. You know how much that'll be worth in a few months when she's dead?

    • Barry: Stan, can we stop by church on the way to breakfast? Before I take my first sip of O.J., I like to take a big gulp of Jesus.

    • Stan: So, Steve, I guess we'll, uh, just, uh... see you at dinner then. (Whispers to Barry) Don't look at him.

    • (Barry's watch beeps)
      Barry: Time for my vitamin. (Realizes he ran out of them) I should run home and get more.
      Stan: You don't need those. Your little candy pills won't make you live forever, will they? (Seriously) Will they?

    • Stan: Oh, you're off the hook, Steve. I know you never bought into the whole Nicaraguans-Russians-and-Cubans-invading-Colorado thing. Besides, I've got Barry now. I don't need you per se.
      Steve: You don't need me?
      Stan: Per se, Steve. Geez, doesn't anyone appreciate Latin anymore?

    • Stan: So, Barry, want to wind down by watching the best movie ever, Red Dawn?
      Barry: I'm Barry!

    • Steve: Oh, you two went to the Mint together?
      Barry: Sure did.
      Stan: Barry has a knack for it, too. He can spot the difference between a plate and a platter. You either know that or you don't. It's like sexing a chicken.
      Barry: You hear that, Steve? Your dad knows my name. My name is Barry, and he knows that.

    • Stan: Steve, do you still want to go to the Franklin Mint this weekend? The new Clara Peller commemorative plates are in. "Where's the beef?" (Laughs) Good question. Where was that beef? Nobody knew.
      Steve: Oh, my God! The Franklin Mint?! Yeah, I'd rather die.

    • Francine: (To Stan) Are you still moping about Steve? Come on. He's just going through a phase. It's like Steve is America and you're Arrested Development. It doesn't mean you're bad, it just means he's not interested in you.

    • Stan: Steve used to really look up to me, but now it's like he's not into me anymore.
      Roger: Wow, that's really, really boring.
      Stan: I'm serious, Roger. I'm opening up to you here. It's like my son's rejection is bringing up all kinds of feelings I don't understand.
      Roger: Oh, okay. Uh... not sure what to say here.
      Hayley: Well, I'm off to petition my college for an Eskimo studies program.
      Roger: What?! They don't have one? I'm sorry, Stan, I'd love to help you, but the Eskimos, their plight, that's the real stuff here.
      Hayley: You care about the Eskimos?
      Roger: Yeah, yeah, I love their pies. Keep going. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.

    • Stan: Hey, Donny, tell my son about the guy who tried to sneak a lipstick camera past the XR-21.
      Donny: (Reluctantly) I accidentally shot him.
      Stan: Yeah, you did. It's called "justice," and it was hilarious.

    • Stan: Here we are, Steve, the most important building in the world. You excited?
      Steve: For my eight billionth installment of "Look How Awesome My Dad Is"? How could I not be?
      Stan: You couldn't. I was just making conversation.

    • Barry: Hey, Steve. Somebody left this on your front porch. (gives Steve the doormat)
      Stan: Great, it's the fat one.
      Steve: That's a doormat, Barry.
      Barry: Who's Matt Barry?
      Stan: God, I hate you so much!
      Steve: Mom, can Barry stay for dinner?
      Francine: If it's okay with his parents.
      Barry: Oh, they won't care. They never care.
      Stan: Good people. My kind of people.
      (Barry's watch beeps)
      Barry: Oh, time to take my vitamin. May I have a glass of water?
      Stan: Fatty can use the garden hose!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Invader Zim

      The scene where Steve is thrown into the padded van is strangely similar to the scene in the Invader Zim episode "Halloween Spectacular Of Spooky Doom."

    • Raiders of the Lost Ark
      The "fly in the mouth" joke is a reference to the notorious "fly in the mouth" moment from Raiders of the Lost Ark when Belloq talks to Indiana Jones before the Ark is opened and a fly seems to crawl into his mouth.

    • Episode Title: With Friends Like Steve's
      The title is a play on the phrase "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"

    • Stan: Plates Collection
      The plates collection that Stan owns might be a reference to the film American Beauty, in which Colonel Frank Fitts owns a Nazi plate which he doesn't allow Ricky Fitts to touch.

    • Barry: The Princess Bride
      When Barry is deciding which drink he is going to drink, he and Steve say similar things from The Princess Bride. The Princess Bride was also mentioned and, of course, Steve wins by putting the vitamin in both glasses, just the same as in the film.