American Dragon: Jake Long

Jake: (jake singing) Check it out! NYC what how you do ya, my names Jake and I'm in the hoya, barkin is hot but jakey jake is cooler cause thats the way you hubba hubba hoola baby

Fu Dog: Don't worry. I'll get this little guy to the big guy. You just make sure nothing goes wrong with Thad and Jasma's big wedding! (Fu Dog starts to get weepy) After all those two've been through together, don't they deserve a moment o' happiness? Don't they? Jake: Uh, yeah. I gotta go. Fu Dog: I swore I wasn't gonna cry in front of the gremlin. Gremlin: Aw... Pretty puppy.

Jake: Special on aisle sizzix! Pickled Gremlins! Get it? Cuz now you're in a pickle. Ha ha!

Haley: What was that? Jake: It's a Gremlin. Help me find it. Haley: How did it get here? Jake: I dunno. But we have to catch it before Mom finds out I let it in. Haley: You let it in? Jake: I mean it got in on its own. Haley: Why don't you just grab it? Jake: It's slippery, all right? Any more questions? Haley: What's it doing to the toaster? Jake: Ack! No!

Haley: Congratulations on your new job, Jake. You know, it's okay if you want to ask me for help. Jake: I don't need your help. Haley: I know. I'll just be right here if you do.

Jake's Mom: Huh? Oh, I was just thinking about the last time you "helped me out". (on phone, urgent) Inga, please! You have to take over until I can get there. I'm counting on you. Jake: But that was an accident! You can't hold it against me because I messed up that one time. Jake's mom: It was six times. Jake: Yeah, but it was all in one night.

Jake: Ha ha! At least the Gremlin problem is history. Grandpa: Good. Where is it? Jake: Oh, it's gone. Grandpa: Huh? You mean it got away? Jake: I mean it got defeated. Grandpa: You let it escape? Jake: I let it know who's boss. Grandpa: It's still on the loose? Jake: Still runnin', Gramps. Grandpa: Jake!

Jake: Look, there's a train coming. Grandpa: Fu Dog, now! Fu Dog: Okay was "now" the word? 'Cause I didn't get that email. Grandpa: Fu! (Fu scampers away) Fu Dog: Sheesh. We got to work out a hand signal or something.

Fu Dog: Don't have a cabbage, Gramps. He can borrow mine. And if you need a cabbage, I got that too. (Jake holds the CD player) Jake: Yo, Fu, I don't know where this has been. Fu Dog: Are you calling me dirty? 'Cause I don't think you want to go there, Mr. Same Socks.

Fu Dog: Boy, after fourty years you think you know a guy and then this.

Gremlin #1: Whuzzit do? Gremlin #2: I dunno. (Gremlin reads the sign, "Emergency Sprinklers. Do Not Touch") Gremlin #2: Emergency... Something... Do... Something... Touch.

(Caterer Sven holds a poster spelling, We Luv U, Thad and Jasma!) Sven: We love you! Jake's mom: They can't hear you.

Jake: What are doing in my room? Haley: Staying out of the kitchen. Want to hear a haiku? Ahem... Jake's room is dirty, moldy sandwiches abound, he lives like a pig. Jake: Out! (Jake points to the door, leading Haley to the door to his room) Haley: Does that mean you don't want to hear the sonnet? How was your mission with Grandpa? Was it fun? Was it dangerous? Did you destroy anything you weren't supposed to? (Jake slams the door on her) Haley: We never talk anymore.

Jake's mom: And if it's any consolation, I don't think you looked like a fool, at all. Jake: No offense, mom, but you're not the one who has to go to school on Monday.

Grandpa: Did you bring your cd player like I asked? Jake: Pow! Even better, I bought the MP Blaster 3000! Grandpa: What?! I can not play this on that. (Grandpa holds a cd case and Jake leans down to read it) Jake: (reads label) "The Hubba Hubba Hula?" Fu Dog: By luau legend, Elvis Kamehameha.

Fu: I told someone it would be a good idea to have more than one CD player in the house but noooo!