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American Horror Story S03E02: "Boy Parts"

Happiness is the worst. Of all the dirty tricks our brains ever played on us, by far the dirtiest was allowing us experience happiness a few times back in the '80s and then never again since. Where did you go, happiness? Will you ever be back? Did we DREAM you in the first place? Guys, up until recently I was convinced that happiness was a stone-cold hoax. You know? Like anything good that happens isn't really happening, it's just a glowing orb that you try to grab until you float directly into the open mouth of one of those chomper fishes. Quite frankly I am VERY tired of chomper fishes at this point. But then. BUT THEN. Happiness returned. It returned under the cover of darkness, it snuck into my home undetected and jumped out at me while I was walking past a fern. Did the same thing happen to you? Did happiness return to your warm embrace as it did mine? If not, here is where to find happiness: The FX Channel around 10pm on Wednesdays. That is where happiness lives now. Because American Horror Story: Coven makes me SO HAPPY.

There are a handful of good TV shows on the air in 2013 and I get to recap most of them, but I don't know if I have been so thrilled and enthusiastic about an hour of television than I was for this new episode of AHS. "Boy Parts" was merely a set-up episode for what should be an intensely insane season of television, but the concepts and visuals and punchlines were so strong and weird and unexpected and satisfying that I not only remembered what it felt like to laugh out loud (LOL) again, but I did it SEVERAL times even. This episode made me so happy I had a pep in my step immediately afterward. For instance I finished all my chores, I repainted the kitchen (with almost no huffing breaks), I visited my wife at her jail. Heck, I even decided to finally get my kids out of the system! This show just puts me in a GREAT mood, basically. Maybe all it takes to feel happy is to experience a weekly hour of mutilation, rape, murder, questionable racial imagery, and Stevie Nicks songs? Man, I wish somebody had told me this sooner.

Anyway, I am not joking, I love "Boy Parts." Let's talk about it.

We began, as most things do, in the swamp. Just a friendly alligator enjoying a lovely swim, thinking about all the nice-- KABLAM! 

A couple of yokels were out shooting tons of alligators, but when they returned to camp, a witchy woman was eyeballin' their kills while "Edge of Seventeen" played on the soundtrack. It was none other than Misty Day! (LOL forever at that name). Very much not dead, and very much giving off a Tusk-era, coked out, Fleetwood Mac vibe. And she was NOT happy about all of the dead dinos she was seeing.

That's right, Misty Day (LOL) suddenly made a bunch of dead alligators come back to life and eat the hunters UP. One of them just sort of bit a dude's head and dragged him back into the swamp. Personally if I had a dollar for every time that happened to me, I'd have six dollars.

Meanwhile at the White Witch Academy (the academy is white, not necessarily the witches), Cordelia was hassling everybody to start their days and Madison opened her bedroom door wearing only her unmentionables and looking about twelve centimeters tall. Look at how tiny she looks up in that picture! Part of me is now nervous that Madison scurries around stealing buttons and corks in the middle of the night and taking them back to a mousehole where the rest of her family lives.

Meanwhile a very disgusting smell had been wafting out of Fiona's bedroom.

And yes, we made jokes about it last week, but it turns out we were 100% right: Madame LaLaurie smelled TERRIBLE and everyone commented on it in this episode. This show just gets me. But anyway, Fiona covered for the smell claiming it was just some Chinese medicine she'd bought, which was a good save and not at all racist. This show.

I liked this part when Fiona temporarily ungagged Madame LaLaurie and told her not to scream at which point Madame LaLaurie immediately screamed.

Haha what a lady. To be fair, she was also nearly frightened to death by a ringing cell phone, but that makes sense considering she now had 180 years of culture and technology to get used to. Also the cell phone was probably a Sprint phone, which would chill anybody to their bones.

Oh, and in case you were nervous about whether Queenie's backstory was politically incorrect somehow...

Hahaha oh man. To be fair, Precious was an OSCAR-WINNING film that included a scene wherein Gabourey Sidibe stole a bucket of fried chicken and ran down the street, so by comparison this scene was thoughtful and nuanced? Anyway, this was Queenie's breakout moment of human voodoo doll-dom: A man insulted her so she stuck her hand in the deep fryer.

Classic Queenie! Guys, I already love Queenie with all of my heart.

Unfortunately Zoe and Madison weren't having the best day, as a pair of detectives showed up asking questions about the overturned party bus. Apparently in this universe, suspicious deaths are actually investigated, which is not something I'm used to from the other TV shows I watch. 

Even though Madison felt very confident nothing could be pinned on her, the detectives pointed out that the girls had both had interactions with the boys, plus Zoe was spotted at the hospital before the one dude died, and oh yeah, he'd died in the same way Zoe's ex-boyfriend had. Man, all this actual detective work was blowing my mind! And it apparently blew part of Zoe's mind also, as she immediately had a meltdown.

Poor Zoe. She may have intentionally murdered a man via her genitals only a few days prior, but that didn't mean she didn't feel guilty about it!

But as you might imagine, Zoe and Madison were not arrested for murder in the second episode of this season. Nope, fortunately Fiona barged in and told the girls to scram before forcing the detectives to drink from glasses she'd spit in.

There was this really weird and intense moment where one of the detectives tried to struggle against Fiona's mind-attack but then his nose started bleeding and she bragged about how she wasn't even trying very hard. Also, this whole business of spitting in someone's drink and then becoming the boss of them was really fun. It's like a witch's version of a vampire's glamoring/compulsion. Very handy! Also, totally disgusting. Everybody's going to get mono now.

After she'd washed the brains of the police detectives, Fiona ran in and threw everyone around the room and shouted at everybody about being so lame.

This scene was so well-written and riveting, seriously. Her point was that witches stick together and in doing so they will always defeat humans, because witches are superior. And then she growled at Zoe that the only person she'll ever have to be afraid of was HER. Uh-oh, foreshadowing?

So then some major stuff went down at the morgue. Even though Zoe and Madison spent the morning mad at each other, Madison saw it in her heart to be grateful to Zoe for having used her accursed crotchal area to vanquish Madison's enemies. In exchange for that, Madison had a plan to use forbidden magic to resurrect Evan Peters (whose character probably has a name but it's a secret). Only problem was, the party bus had not only been transporting a fleet of frat rapists, but also several dozen spinning buzzsaws because now everybody was in pieces!

Next thing we knew, Madison was choosing all the best body parts for the new version of Evan Peters. It was like Build-A-Bear but with troubled hunks.

But to paraphrase that classic Wendy's commercial, "WHERE'S THE DICK?" Haha sorry for being crass, but no seriously, where was the dick? I would not put it past these ladies to forget about that one.

So obviously the spell part of the resurrection was a nightmare and involved fog machines and screaming and slicing the palms of their hands and drawing pentagrams in blood on Evan Peters' torso and also possibly "marrying the devil" and then it didn't even work!

At least not right away. 

Because after a quiet, one-on-one parting kiss, Zoe was interrupted by some dude who had had the audacity to WORK there (it was the middle of the day).

But then guess what? Evan Peters woke up and started WHALING on this dude.

It was sort of a scary, pathetic, grunt-filled attack, but it was effective. He hadn't been alive longer than six seconds, but Hunky Frankenstein had already claimed his first victim!

Then Madame LaLaurie was finally ready to tell Fiona how she'd become immortal, and it involved Marie Laveau obviously.

Oh, and it turned out Laveau had not only imprisoned LaLaurie in a coffin for 180 years, she'd also murdered her entire family!

So, you know. Recipe for a blood feud. 

Then Fiona ate fried chicken right in Madame LaLaurie's face, but Madame LaLaurie wasn't hungry. It was a very poignant moment, maybe the MOST poignant moment.

Um, that rumbling sound you're hearing was the unmistakable noise of royalty squaring off. A ROYAL RUMBLE. That's right, Marie Laveau was STILL ALIVE in modern times and running a salon, so Fiona showed up and they had a SASS-BATTLE. First of all, HOW HOT was modern day Marie Laveau? SO HOT. But also, in my opinion Fiona was extremely mean to her considering she needed Marie Laveau's assistance in becoming immortal, and also Marie Laveau was holding curling irons and scissors very close to Fiona's head. Also, this happened:

Then there was Fiona's parting shot which was nothing short of devastating: "Maybe in another hundred years you can own TWO shit-hole salons." Holy moly I was cackling. We are truly in a golden age of television, ladies and gentlemen. It should probably go without saying that these two probably won't be friends anytime soon.

Meanwhile back at the White Witch Academy, Nan was trying to sit under some creepy paintings and read a book but a certain immortal asshole was thinking too loudly.

Which meant that Nan immediately untied her and told her to scram. Classic Nan!

Oh, but then Queenie made a hurtful comment about Madame LaLaurie's body odor, so Madame LaLaurie called her a slave and then knocked her out with a candle stick. I don't know if you guys agree with me or not, but this school doesn't seem like a very normal place so far.

So the main thing Cordelia was up to in this episode was she was trying to get so pregnant. Unfortunately her womb was being a dick and modern science is a joke, so her husband (boyfriend? Drifter she'd just picked up?) casually suggested she resort to witchcraft.

Which, DUH. This is American Horror Story. Unholy abomination babies are sort of its thing. So then a truly gross sex scene happened.

It involved a flaming circle and weird blue eggs that HATCHED and erupted with tons of snakes, which crawled all over them (and IN them), which is basically my nightmare of nightmares. Also they cut each other up, drank each other's blood and then made sweet, disgusting love on a yoga mat or whatever. But then when it was over, wasn't it SO awkward?

Oh man. What was even happening here? Ugh, no child is worth this. I still cannot believe those snakes, I want to scrub them from my memory with a toilet brush. 

Because Madison had driven away with the car, Zoe and FrankenPeters stole the morgue employee's car and drove home. Except FrankenPeters wasn't doing so hot, he was just sort of bashing his head against the window and grunting in agony, which is something I do whenever Katy Perry comes on the radio.

And then even more terrifyingly, look who'd been stowing away in the back seat!

Oh, Misty Day (LOL). She claimed she'd been summoned to the scene, probably because resurrection was her thing and just wanted to be included. Fair enough!

So then suddenly we were all hanging out at Misty Day's (LOL) house out at the swamp where she was rubbing mud and excrement into FrankenPeters' wounds while Fleetwood Mac played. Then there was this whole weird scene where Misty Day (LOL) forced Zoe to listen to Fleetwood Mac lyrics all intensely.

Haha this show is truly a baffling treat. Zoe was definitely in over her head and got out of there. But she left FrankenPeters behind, which was very cool with Misty Day (LOL). Honestly, sewing together a dead dude and then giving him the gift of life is a lot for a teenage girl to handle in a 24-hour period.

Oh, so witches and bisected frat guys weren't the only ones with surprisingly long lifespans. That minotaur dude was still alive also! In this case Marie Laveau unshackled him from his closet, caressed his ripped torso and then sent him off on a mission. As a viewer I have no idea what's going on here or what to expect at all and it feels GREAT.

Meanwhile the suddenly emancipated Madame LaLaurie hadn't gotten very far. I guess discovering that her home had been converted into a museum really took the wind out of her sails. I remember it really upset me when MY childhood home was converted into a museum. Haha just kidding, my childhood home imploded and sank into the unmarked Indian burial ground over which it was built and I did NOT care. This was a bad example.

But it WAS very fun when these two ladies just sat there all world-weary, sorta bonding about the futility of life. Fiona did tell her that she had been a bad person and deserved to be buried alive. But Madame LaLaurie wanted to make it clear that she was still pretty bummed that her family had been murdered, including even her ugly daughter. Very touching stuff.

I really like that LaLaurie technically isn't a witch, so she's completely subservient to Fiona. As far as we know, LaLaurie's primary value at this point is just being a bargaining chip in order to get Laveau's immortality potion, but I have a feeling these two might just start having a classic, zany, Perfect Strangers-esque relationship in the near future, don't you?

Personally I would LOVE to have a friend from 180 years ago. I would show him or her all the best things modern society has to offer, especially gas station candy and P.T. Cruisers and also horror themed TV shows on the FX channel. The future is truly the best.

Boy do I love this show. Just a nonstop delivery system of joy directly into my heart. All these women! All these concepts! Such good dialogue! I can't believe how much back story and exposition this show effortlessly doles out while still seeming fast, fresh and fun. And it's all so gorgeous and disgusting. I needed this. WE needed this. We are so blessed. 

BYE


QUESTIONS:

... Is being buried alive for 180 years worth it, if only to experience Dorito-flavored tacos?

... Do you think there will be unforeseen consequences to resurrecting dead guys and/or using dark magic to get pregnant? Be honest.

... Has an alligator ever chomped onto your head and dragged you into a swamp?

... What is your favorite Stevie Nicks song and/or hex?

Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 1/13/2016

Season 5 : Episode 12

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First things first...#TeamLaveau! There's only one person who can make me side against Jessica Lang and that's Angela Bassett. That she's an lover/slave avenger, immortal, has mad voodoo powers and can sass with the best of 'em only makes me love her more.

"Then there was this whole weird scene where Misty Day forced Zoe to listen to Fleetwood Mac lyrics all intensely."

LOL...this show. I don't know if there's some actual urban legend about Stevie Nicks being a witch, but the one thing I universally enjoy about AHS is it's incorporation real life into their fictional stories. Black Dahlia, Ann Frank and Stevie Nicks...that's a hell of a trio. More of this please!
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Wouldn't it be amazing if Stevie Nicks guest starred as a fellow witch, fighting in the war between voodoo-witches and regular-witches?
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Ryan Murphy just tweeted that Stevie Nicks would be joining the show and she tweeted back "the white witch lives", so I guess you were right all along!
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That is awesome! now the hippie witch can stop crying about her broken radio
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I don't even know why I like this show - its illogical, there's never a sense of narrative and everything that happens just seems to be so random. Even when the show seems to be developing a decent story arc - like the investigation into the death of that rapist Jock which could've put the whole witch's academy at risk, the show just wipes it away with some spit (pun intended). But despite all of its shortcomings - I still can't get enough of it. Maybe because the performances are amazing, the show is absolutely beautiful to look at and no matter what, American Horror Story will always find weird and wonderful ways to shock me like no other. Just look at that ritual between Cordelia and her husband - jheez! Also, maybe I'm being too dismissive - we're only three episodes in so maybe this season will developed some decent story arcs - a woman who has been buried alive for 180 years has just been resurfaced, someone's married the devil to bring to life a dead guy and there seems to be a potential face-off between the supreme witch and the voodoo queen.
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I was pretty disappointed with this show last season, but this season is sooo much fun! Kathy Bates is a great addition to the show.
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FrankenPeters's name is Kyle
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Stevie Nicks's excellence has just increased tenfold. Also how does Zoe not know who Fleetwood Mac are? Ten points from Gryffindor! (Well probably Slytherin actually)
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I wouldn't want to be buried alive for 180 years for chocolate ice cream with fried oreos and cheesecake on top that burned belly fat. I was surprised at how lucid LaLaurie was when she got out of her grimy coffin. She had been buried, immobile with tons of bugs and other nasty crap for 180 years! Considering what a psychotic, racist, sociopathic sadist she had been before her entombment, she took being buried alive for two centuries surprisingly well.
Of course there will be consequences for using dark magic to have a baby and marrying the devil in order to Build-a-Boyfriend. Considering that this is American Horror Story, the consequences are sure to be unexpected and deliciously ridiculous.
An alligator has chomped on my head and dragged me into a swamp. Unfortunately, it not only, chomped on my head but bit it clean off, (along with other body parts). Luckily, some friendly teenage witches were there to sew me back together and perform a satanic ritual to have me bright-eyed and bushy tailed again. (After I'd munched on an unlucky medical examiner.)
I'd actually never heard of Stevie Nicks before this episode, but Misty Day's interpretation of her songs seemed spot on.
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The guy Kyle they brought back to life was in the bus accident, not one of those hicks Misty Day killed w the gators. Also, he didn't munch on the med examiner he just hit him repeatedly with his head until he died, more frankenstein, less zombie.
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I know, but my experience was different. ;) I remember what happened, I'm just trying to mix it up.
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Using dark magic to get pregnant can't possibly have ended well. We also know that Cordelia is alone now - so what happened to her baby and boyfriend? Also, wasn't it a "bad thing" to let a non-witch male know you're a witch in the first place?

Laveau is creepy and I don't like her. LaLaurie was/is a horrible person, but when Laveau and the slaves killed her family and cursed her (AND she kept her minotaur lover alive as well), it didn't exactly make them seem any more innocent... They are almost as bad.

I somehow doubt there will be much consequences for the two girls for resurrecting him, but he will surely not be as happy to be "alive" in that condition. I think he will carry the biggest burden.

The boy parts scene was great! and pretty disgusting.
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It is also worth considering that the part where the slaves sought retribution for LaLaurie's crimes and she was entombed is highly fictional, historically the atrocities exacted on slaves by a psychopathic socialite names Madame Lalaurie is historical and did happen.

The burial of LaLaurie in AHS was perhaps inspired by the grave of a 12 year old girl on the grounds. She was witnessed to have leapt to her death after being pursued by LaLaurie onto the roof with a whip for snagging LaLaurie's hair whilst combing.
The slaves found after a fire at the LaLaurie mansion (set by the cook who had spent her years chained to a stove) were found horribly mutilated with body parts in buckets about the room, some dead, some alive in hideous states of prolonged torture. The scene incited a mob to wreck the mansion and thereafter claim that it must be haunted. LaLaurie and her family fled to go live somewhere else whilst the tortured slaves were taken to jail as to be available for public viewing. Up to 4,000 people went to these exhibitions 'to convince themselves of their sufferings'.

You might want to consider that in your moral examination. Or not. I'm sure people such as yourself can justify anything.
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Killing, butchering, maiming, torturing, skinning alive, emasculating and dehumanising, sewing shut the orifices in a psychopathic fashion vs. hanging accomplices to these crimes, keeping your deformed lover alive and immortalising/burying the psychopath = 'almost as bad' to your mind? Lol.

And when you say 'they', you mean all the slaves/ black people I take it. The men who were tortured weren't innocent because a group of black people sought to punish LaLaurie afterwards?

Somebody obviously has racial remorse issues ...
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And people like you see racism everywhere where there is none. "They" = the slaves in that scene. That's not really so hard to understand in this context. We are talking about a TV show afterall.

Yes, murdering children by hanging them, torturing someone by making them immortal and buried "alive" for supposed eternity, and forcing a mutilated slave to LIVE as a f'ing minotaur forever is certainly not what I call decent. There is a reason why I said almost as bad though, you know... So your two comments are invalid.
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It wasn't just the dick, the nipples and belly button were also missing... weird.
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Yeah what was up with that! Normally I'd blame it on US TV being pretty touchy about nudity but...come on, it's American Horror Story! The weird thing is the prosthetic wasn't even obviously framed off camera or mysteriously under a sheet, it was just...blank!
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Did anyone noticed how the vein on Fiona's neck was pumping in the last scene while she was talking to LaLaurie..? I was worried for a minute that it was gonna burst and the show would be over for good .___.
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AHS makes me think that if Sarah Paulson's acting specially in the last season did not win her Emmys, then who freakin' deserve it really...
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Oh and



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Price I share your intense excitement about this show. I know this show seems completely insane, but in the mirage of good shows we have on tv right now this is the only one I want to watch again and again. You pretty much said it all.

... Of course being buried alive is worth it! Doritos rule!

... Nah consequences to using dark magic? Never! Everybody knows dark magic is just for shits and giggles. DUH.

... An alligator has never chomped on my head and dragged me into a swamp, but I did get bitten by a ladybug once. So I'm pretty sure I know how the guy felt.

... Stevie Nicks should be the queen of the world IMO. For serious for realzies, my favorite song by her would be Sara or Nightbird. I kinda like that Misty Day loves Stevie Nicks, because it shows a great sense of humor on the shows writers part and also means they do actually love SN/FM. Because Stevie Nicks is about as much a witch as Kate Bush is a lady named Cathy living in a mansion obsessed with a dude named Heathcliff.

I'm getting almost as excited about these reviews as I am about the show! Bring on next week!
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Okay, loved this episode. American Horror Story gets better every season. But to answer the review questions.

... Is being buried alive for 180 years worth it, if only to experience Dorito-flavored tacos?

I would NOT want to be buried alive for 180 years. Geez, I'd have been eaten by bugs, stink to high heaven and be very confused about life in general most likely. So I don't think it would be worth it.

... Do you think there will be unforeseen consequences to resurrecting dead guys and/or using dark magic to get pregnant? Be honest.

Of course there will be consequences. There are always consequences. This AHS! We know there will be consequences.

... Has an alligator ever chomped onto your head and dragged you into a swamp?

Nope. I did however nearly get suckered by a big ass squid when me and my cousins and my brother were on my grandfather's fishing boat in Cyprus. They caught the thing and us kids all freaked out when the damn squid started wriggling around, and it's tentacle wrapped around my leg and I so nearly died at that moment. Sheer shock. LOL!

... What is your favorite Stevie Nicks song and/or hex?

Uh... is it okay to say I have no idea who Stevie Nicks is, but I know Fleetwood Mac's music? Well that's all I can say to that. LOL!
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Love witchy stuff and 1st season of AHS was my fav so I love the potential of this season. Although a few things I feel a bit *teeter hand* about.

To start of the show was truly grotesque, left me feeling disturbed. And then when Angela Bassett showed up, I thought that lady would get some serious retribution but the whole family-killing box punishment felt lame. Maybe they're trying to make Bassett more humane or something but why does keeping a monster like that in the world (even if cocooned underground) make any sense?

Not feeling the Frankenfurter boyfriend either. Maybe because of the science experiment theme of Asylum but it feels a tad overplayed. I do like the storyline of the girls minus the Frankenstuff. Queenie's power feels a little contrived also. What's with the minotaur? Bassett's looking good for 55 yo, she may be a witch for true. Or could be cracklessness.

I really hope they don't try and make that psycho-b*tch torture freak into a grey character that you see the human side of, I may have to stop watching. They never felt the need to do this with Dr. Evil in Asylum, any glimpse into his character just revealed how deeply spiritually depraved he was. As it is, I feel her crimes are being treated with a slap on the wrist. That convo with Lange about 'you got what you deserved [so now the slate is wiped clean]' doesn't bode well. She hasn't been absolved - she deserves that and a whole lot more, I hope AHS can deliver.

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"I am the one who knocks, bitches!
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Explain to me why you lol'd everytime it says "Misty Day"...
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Because Misty Day is a lulzy name. Sounds fake and/or some goofball hippy name that we have from the 60's-70's like Sunshine or Starchild as a first name.
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Oh how I love this show!
Excited about this season, great to see the oltimers act brilliant together. The youngster too ofcourse, good balance.
Can't wait for next week!
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Loved this episode, so much was happening at the same time..
Loved every scene...
Supreme with Lavau in the hairshop was awesomely done..even nothing really happened...the way Angela Basset called her witch...she does it awesomely..loved the tension between those two...that is going to be so nasty....
Two stupid bimbo witches trying to bring a boy back...and they did...Love the name by the way Frankenpeters hahahahahaha funny...wonder how that storyline will continue..
Quencie our voodoo dol...so cool how she put her hand in the oil...burning that guy...!!!
This season is simply awesome!!! Ryan Murphy outdone himself!
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i'm confused. So the ancient black witches arent the same as the white witches? The white witches got their powers from them? So then why do the white witches have The Supreme? Who's more powerful? Because it really seemed like Fiona was way more powerful and threatening than Laveau
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I think they are probably equally powerful in their own different way. Laveau seems to know her voodoo stuff, with potions, curses and such, but Fiona got the actual powers... She on the other hand age and wants something Laveau has. A hammer can't build without nails, and nails are nothing without the use of a hammer. :)
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Marie Laveau practices Voodoo....she's not really a "witch" in the sense that Fiona is.
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Fiona didn't seem too powerful next to Marie Laveau. After all she was the hammer asking for the nail's magic. ;-)
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These photo recaps are the bomb — seriously! I laughed so hard reading them every week. Incredibly because of these photo recaps, they make even the most unwatchable shows chewable — this is not one of those instances as I love watching anything about witchcraft but hey! WTF STFU GTFO haha :) thanks!
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Misty Day (LOL)!!!!
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Love the show and love the blog...I cackle each time I read the recap!
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The Dippin' Dots caption slayed me.
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I really liked this episode (can't say I loved it, but it was very good)
Your photo recap, on the other hand, was amazeballs! It was awesome. I'm waiting the for the Fiona/Marie showdown; that one is going to be amazing.

Oh, and about your Poltergeist reference... naughty, naughty.
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So glad you're back, bb.
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Am I the only one who thinks Zoe's witch power is kinda lame? The other girls have survival skills and useful things to do. Zoe's killer vagina doesn't fit either of those categories. Doesn't seem all that useful, and as far as helping you in a fight......most bad guys out to get you won't stop to have a quickie.
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Zoe is a succubus.
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Maybe somewhere down the line they will reveal that she has other powers.
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She's the Supreme. I call it.
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I swear I was thinking that too while I was writing my previous comment! You totally read my mind!
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Staff

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that makes my ears hurt
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I'm like you , this show makes me happy.It's really fun , the writing and acting are fabulous , I never know what's coming next.

I don't know if it is the golden age of Television though , because we have really a large spectrum of shows to see , good shows are still really rare.

American Horror Story should be an example , I love the fact that every season is completely new , it's very refreshing
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Why can't AHS be on every night? Or at least three times a week like Big Brother? Why is it only the craptastic useless stuff gets aired the most? Don't say money!
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Money
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I just can't wait to see where all of it goes. It's AHS. Plots go EVERYWHERE.
And this is only episode 2 and it is so damn good! I love this show.
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"Apparently in this universe, suspicious deaths are actually investigated,"

Unless the worked for Marie, knowinglyor otherwise. And she sensed something was wrong and sent them. Might explain why the one guy could summon some minor mental resistance.
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I don't watch the show but I love the recaps.
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Price, bless your heart (and I mean that in the totally non-facetious way), I truly think this was your best recap ever. I may or may not have lost bladder control.
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Love photo recaps!
Love Price's recaps!
Didn't think this show coulg get crazer than last season, but it's totally insane! and I love it!
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Another great review Price. Love the pics.
This was a fantastic episode.
Fiona is truly frightening and Jessica Lange should already have the best actress Emmy sown up... The scene with her and Angie Bassett was classic. I'm looking forward to more sass battles between those two.
That had to be the most disturbing sex scene I've ever witnessed. That takes freaky to a whole new level.
And yes, FrankenPeters!!! I knew he wouldn't stay gone long. Also glad Lily Rabe didn't stay dead long. Was it just me or was there some lesbian vibe going on between her and Zoe. I thought Misty was gonna jump her for a minute. lol
I thought this was better than the premier. Hopefully the following episodes will continue to get better but they've set the bar pretty high already...
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I was waiting for Lily Rabe to lean in or something, but there's so much wierd stuff you can cram into one episode.
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Evan Peters' name is Kyle :-)
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Totally badass episode, can't wait for the next (and every other after).
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A few things.

Firstly, Lily Rabe is freaking awesome. i think she is going to save the show again this season.

Second, does Ryan Murphy dislike Taissa Farmiga? Because her character was really stupid in the first season and seems to be equally if not more so this season. And I mean really stupid.

Third, Queenie has an odd power. She is supposed to be a human Voodoo Doll. But it only occurs if she does it to herself. However, it should just happen and or transfer to a person near her. So LaLaurie hitting her on the head should have gone back to LaLaurie. They need to clarify that because it just seems to be inconsistent. Which actually is pretty standard for Ryan Murphy.

Fourth, Is there any actual instruction at this school for witches? It seems like the have a lot of free time?

Fifth, Frankenstein Peters is kind of silly. I am not sure it is needed this season. Unless his puny self is supposed to take on the minotaur guy.

Sixth, How did no one on the street notice LaLaurie on the road. I mean I know it is New Orleans and wooohooo and drunken partying and all of that. But it would seem like she would still stick out, unless it was Mardi Gras.

Seventh, How about Fiona just go up to Laveau say I have the woman you hate, give me some infinite life and you can have her back to torture for fun. I mean what happened to witches sticking together and fighting so they don't get burned.

Eighth, Lily Rabe is still awesome.
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No one on the street noticed LaLaurie because she was sitting in front of her house which is a museum... about LaLaurie.

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I am pretty sure she isn't magic and had to walk there.
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Im sure someone noticed but... who would bother to approach her and mention anything bout it?
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Well it's pretty clear that it has to be her intention to do the voodoo doll trick. She didn't see the candle stick coming lol, so whomp. Nothing bad happened to LaLaurie
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First: Lily IS pretty great, but awesome goes to Lange and Basset, IMO. And what makes you say that the show needs saving?

Third: I don't see any inconsistancy. She need to focus on a person to transfer damage. She was hit from behind, it might have been transfered to the person in front of her, if she was looking at her, but the one hitting her shold be safe.
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Third, I agree about the focusing part.
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Fifth: I'm not sure how you could make a determination on what is needed this season at this time. If the first two seasons of AHS have taught us anything, it's that AHS will have so many things going on, some of which don't even get introduced until several episodes in. I really thought season 2 was too busy as far as so many bad things--I mean, aliens, demon, Bloody Face, Dr. Nazi-guy, inhumane asylum, etc.--and I was really unsure AHS was going to tie everything together nicely with only 13 eps and if it would feel like those elements never amounted to what it felt like they were supposed to. Because most shows can't successfully do that much at one time. But by the end of it, they'd done it brilliantly. So AHS has earned the benefit of the doubt from me.

Sixth: I'm from there. Would they notice LaLaurie? Some people would. But absolutely nobody would care or think twice about her. If she talked to people, yeah, they'd know something was up and then it would get interesting. Just a lady dressed like that walking around? Nah.

Seventh: Laveau is a Voodoo queen, not a witch. The show didn't exactly clarify what the difference was, but it did make the distinction. They're not the same kind of magic women, somehow. And the two kinds don't like each other, and have been fighting forever. In this regard, AHS has latched on something that's taken a page from real life. Voodoo, at least as New Orleans knows it, is a different practice than witchcraft, and the real Marie Laveau didn't claim to be a witch (I think), only a Voodoo priestess.
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The Fifth is more of a carry over criticism from last season where they basically threw everything at the wall except witches and left some pretty big holes that they never filled by the end of the season. Granted it is early, but if we are going off of the two preceding seasons with an Evil house that isn't really evil, Aliens that never really do anything and a demon that didn't really do anything (except be freaking cool for half the season). I just think the story would be better if it had some semblance of focus.

Sixth, People notice smells way more than they notice their surroundings through their other senses. If she smelled as bad as they said she did, people would notice.

Seventh, I know they are making a distinction. However they are both using magic and when the townfolk with the torches and pitchforks come running they aren't going to really make that distinction. Considering their dwindling numbers I just think it would behoove them to stick together. But maybe that is coming later in the season.
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Good point on the smell. Wasn't thinking of that. Still.....if you've ever spent any time in New Orleans and experienced the "colorful" characters that abound there....I'm still not convinced anybody would pay any attention.

At a glance it seems the witches/voodoo people would stick together, but history does seem full of factions who'd be better off helping each other, yet too prideful and hateful to do so. I guess it sort of adds a touch of realism to an otherwise outlandish story. At least it will probably make for an interesting part of the plot.
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Soo.. this show needs saving? I cannot agree with any of your comments, and that is a difficult thing to happen!
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Not saving, just focus. The show for me is entirely Lily Rabe, she was it for me last season and when her character ended it dropped in quality, a lot. It is still enjoyable for the most part.
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ok, but then it is you being very partial to this actress :) I like her too, but didn't notice that drop in quality.
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i didnt notice the drop in quality either. I think Sarah Paulson did a great job. As well as Evans Peters and Jessica Lange
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I think her performance last season was the best of the show. And when her character was done, then the season for me lacked a little. Probably because nothing was really resolved aside from McDermott's wooden performance. Nothing really about the aliens, or what exactly the Doctor was working on etc. At least the head nun got hers though. That was gratifying.
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I thought the exact same thing about your third point up there. Why didn't LaLaurie get knocked out too unless Queenie has to do it either herself or intentionally or see it coming and transfer it. But, like you said, Ryan Murphy just doesn't seem like to clarify.
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i think it was pretty clear. There were tons of people in the fast food restaurant she was working in and yet only 1 person got hurt: the intended victim. Thus when she was hit on the head, there was no intended victim so no one got hurt.
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Can someone explain to me why Marie Laveau's husband/boyfriend/lover is still wearing that bull head? I mean......they didn't super glue it on him or anything, right? Couldn't he have opted to simply take it off? Or am I missing something??

But everything else about this episode was AWESOME!! The characters and stories on this show are very enthralling (though I think Zoe needs to learn to be a better liar, particularly if she's going to continue murdering people, rapist or not, in broad daylight).
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I'm assuming there will be an explanation for that in the future. Since you can't live without a pancreas, Laveau must have done some sort of resurrection voodoo to bring him back and make him immortal. Perhaps the bull head plays a part in that somehow, like maybe after he died she turned him into an actual minotaur.
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In the season premiere he was the man who Lalaurie had tortured and placed the minotaur head on
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Right, but why did he leave the head on for the next 180 years?
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Maybe all that torturing an such really made him less of a person and more of an animal. And Laveau loved him so much she couldn't put him down. She did have him in shackles if I remember correctly?
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I was going to ask that same question. Maybe he likes it?
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You kill me. This is my new weekly thing to do every Thursday. Oh and Evan Peters' name is Kyle. Just for future reference. Apart from that, perfect recap. You are beautiful.
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Your recaps are as delicious as the show itself. You're hilarious! Yes, we are very blessed. Here I was thinking in the interim, "all-female cast, all about witches in NOLA...can't be as cool as Asylum" in my "change is bad" mindset, and one episode and I'm in love all over again. AHS is one of the most amazing shows ever made, and I pray Ryan Murphy's sick mind keeps it going for many seasons!

LOL Poor FrankenKit (er, Kyle, sorry) and his Ken doll crotch. Of course we all know he'll end up having a big one and he'll be the one guy Zoe can sex up without killing. But what a great screencap nonetheless.
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"but also several dozen spinning buzzsaws because now everybody was in pieces!"

LOL. I too wondered how all these boys fell into a million hunky pieces just by the flip of a bus.
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Oddly...I am still waiting for the really really wtf thing for this season...like, I am still waiting for something about the aliens last year or was there actually demonic possession or not (it was so unimportant to the whole season). But, yes, I love this show. I hope Misty gets more company.

Does anyone else want to talk about the selection of black outfits and shoes along the wall in Fiona's room. I found that really funny.
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I loved this episode. It was over way too fast!
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-Yay, Lilly Rabe is back (she should have won an EMMY, not Sarah Paulson
-I didnt know Fleetwood Mac was the devils music!
-No magic va jay jay shenanigans this week
-Jessica Lange's flem is magical apparently
-Evan Peters is going to be disappointed, because from what I saw there is no way he can do a sex scene this season

-I really hope we dont get a demon baby like season 1



-Last week I thought Kathy Bates was the MVP, this week it was Jessica Lange. I do think they have very good chemistry together though


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Who said anything about the devil?
You shouldn't believe everything a priest tells you.
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I really hate the music on the show. The dubstep bits were decent, but the rest... sounds like 90s lounge music.
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you best not be dissin' ms. Stevie Nicks... she's a white witch!!! LOL :)
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Finally I have an excuse for having a New Orleans Voodoo Doll hanging on my kitchen wall!!! Love this show so much! Go Team Voodoo!

Also, just finished reviewing last night's episode, check it out here if you're interested-- http://mikeydislikesit.wordpress.com/2013/10/17/american-horror-story-coven-boy-parts-review/

:)
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i got a bit disappointed when Madison picked the morgue lock - girl, you flipped a bus!!! Why use picks when you have magic???
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OK, so I guess you guys that have seen the first season noticed the irony of Taissa Farmiga's character telling Evan Peter's character something like "I don't know how to tell you this, but you died!".
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