Queenie: You were never my friends.
Madison: Oh, boo-friggin'-hoo. You switched teams because girls were mean to you. Fiona slit my throat. You don't see me bitching out.
Fiona: Menigeal carcinomatosis. That's what the doctor called it. Tiny seedlings that the cancer planted in the lining of my spines. The little bastards are Satan's diet pills. I used to think I understood pain. A pain, a cut, a broken bone. Heartbreak. But this is if I've been dipped in the river Styx and all the suffering of all the souls that ever were or will be have soaked my body. My body doesn't belong to me--not that I'd want it in this state. I'm starting to look less Samantha and more Endora every day. And what could be more painful than having to tell your child that you're going to die?
Fiona: The doctors say it's terminal.
Cordelia: Do me a favor. Die before Thanksgiving, so none of us have to suffer through that mess of raisins and Styrofoam you call stuffing.
Myrtle: Mothballs and history. It's a cocktail I swoon for.
Myrtle: Can you imagine those poor Salem witches, traveling all the way down here in their covered wagons without a proper charcuterie platter or a bidet? Absolutely savage!
Fiona: And you, my dear... I'm so proud of. You really are my daughter.
Cordelia: Now you're proud? Hell... if I knew how easy it was to win your approval, I would have made an attempt on your life way before now.
Music: Season of the Witch (Donovan), Sonata in B-Flat Major (Franz Schubert)
Australia: December 2, 2013 on Eleven
UK: December 17, 2013 on FOX
Sweden: September 21, 2014 on Kanal 9
Fiona: I'm starting to look less Samantha and more Endora every day.
Referencing the 1964-1972 ABC TV series starring Elizabeth Montgomery as a witch, Samantha, who marries a mortal man, Darrin Stephens. She vows to forsake her powers and live life as a mortal woman, but is usually called upon to cast spells, usually to cope with her magic-wielding relatives who disapprove of the marriage. Samantha's mother is Endora, a meddling older witch who disapproves of her husband and makes her feelings clear at every opportunity.