American Idol

(After Jason Yeager performed): Randy: You definitely did a pretty good job with that song ... You had a couple of problems ... pitch-wise ... stay in it, stay in it. Paula: I did my first ballet recital to that song. (This is literally her contribution and critique.) Simon: You came over much older on that song ... It was very cruise ship ... It was neither here nor there; you didn't go the Frank Sinatra route ... It was very middle of the road.

(After David Cook performed): Randy: You started and it was a little weird for me ... you worked it out and made a rock joint of "Happy Together" ... if he can pull this off, he can do anything, Paula. Paula: It was a bit worthy ... it's worthy of great praise. You rocked it, you made something original. Simon: I thought it was good ... you shouted the song a little bit in the middle. It's a weird song to choose because I never heard that song sung like that before ... you almost made it believable.

(After Chikezie Eze performed): Randy: It was pretty good ... *sigh* ... you're kind of an old-fashioned singer ... make it new fresh, young ... it was a'ight. Paula: You've come a long way and you're here ... you're a throwback to great R&B ... you did a very nice job. Simon: Here's my problem Chikoozie ... I absolutely hated the whole performance ... the suit is hideous ... corny, cheesy, this could have been something filmed forty years ago.

(After David Hernandez performed): Randy: I like that you started with a whole kind of gospel vibe in the front ... it fell a little apart at the end ... but way to start it off, yo! The competition is on! Paula: You've got brilliant vocals to rely on .. Perfect vibrato where you needed it ... Good job. Simon: It was better than I thought it would be ... beginning was terrific, middle part was all a little bit rabbit in the headlights, end I didn't like ... you've got to loosen up a bit. Very stiff, very nervous ... didn't hear anything distinct in your voice.

Randy: It was a little pitchy for me, and I know that's a word Paula and I use a lot.

Simon: Danny, I don't care whether this one thinks you're yellow, orange, or purple, because all this-- Randy: Oh ho ho. Paula: Guess what... Simon: -- colors nonsense is just ridiculous.

Paula: I just -- I think that there's going to be a lot of colors of Danny coming out. Yeah. (loud cheers and applause) Simon: I just -- I don't understand a word of what you just said. Not a word. What color was that? Audience Member: Purple! Simon: Yellow? Randy: Blue. Blue. Simon: Danny, I thought the performance was verging on grotesque.

Simon: When you got it, you got it, and David that was by a comfortable mile the best performance of the night-- Randy: Wow. Simon: -- so far.

Paula: How many dogs have you really raised from puppies? Randy: We love dogs. Simon: A lot. A lot. Randy: We love dogs. We love dogs.