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Before we begin, I would like to point out that so many of the acts competing on this show by this point are already pretty big in certain circles, particularly the Got Talents from other countries…In fact, I know Simon had to pretend he didn’t know who Aaron Crow was, even though he saw him go all the way to the semi-finals in BGT…But if I bring up every single Got Talent contestant from other countries, let alone everyone who became famous somewhere, we’ll be here forever…Let’s just stick with the ones WE’RE familiar with…

Anyway, on to the countdown!

10: Celina and Filiberto. The thing about the auditions is that this is the early portion of the game where you can afford to…humor the contestants…While some of them would be a definite no, there are a few stupid and unworthy acts that if I were in the judges’ shoes, I probably couldn’t bring myself to reject them either…This is one of those acts…Did I ever need to see two old people gettin’ down an’ dirty to Jason Derulo? Heheheheh…No…But hey, give the old man some credit, he’s pretty good on his feet! While pity should never factor into how far an act goes in the game (though it usually does), I’d say if it’s helping poor souls pursue their dreams and boost their self-esteem, then letting them at least pass the auditions can’t be too much to ask for, right…? That said, the Judge Cuts are a different matter…I would drop this act like a hot potato! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to wash my eyes…

9: Lily Wilker. Again, while this is barely what I would call an act, it’s still impressive enough to pass the auditions at least…And hey, why break a child’s heart like that either? For a kid her age to make such authentic animal noises is nothing short of impressive! Not impressive enough to support her making it past the next round…Though in all honesty, I could see her doing so anyway…

8: Yumbo Dump. While I would argue that the previous entry was TECHNICALLY superior in the “making authentic noises” department, this act gets one up for its comedic charm…I got some chuckles from these guys, though for me, they weren’t NEARLY as funny as the fountain guys last week…

7: Us the Duo. Their name is like if I called myself “I the Person”. Anyway, they were quite good…Their song was very cheesy, but also kind of infectious…And their harmony was some of the best I’ve ever heard on this show! That said, they didn’t really stick with me as the night went on…Also, I feel pretty bad for that other couple, getting thrown under the bus like that to make way for these two…

6: Michael Ketterer. This guy’s singing was JUST good enough to justify getting the Golden Buzzer…I suppose he’s gonna be the act to look out for now, and could very well get a respectable rank in the Top 10…However, he doesn’t quite seem unique enough to draw in that winning vote…I’m still looking out for THAT act…

5: Christina Wells. While I could see Ketterer potentially becoming better than her, for now, I place her over him because she had more confidence, and her powerful voice was a real joy to hear…I hope she doesn’t Yoli Mayor it (especially since she’s playing up the sympathy for getting rejected due to her weight…And look, I’m all for plus-sized people catching a break, though I certainly don’t support embracing one’s obesity when you could at least TRY to live a healthier lifestyle…) But for now, she’s my favorite vocalist who doesn’t rap…

4: Da Republik. Not my favorite dance act ever…Their moves were great, but the choreography could be just a LITTLE tighter…But hey, they were good enough to stand out in a genre of acts that has been growing increasingly stale over the years…

3: Mochi. I think my weakness for these kinds of acts is finally evaporating (though it looks like we have another one next week, so we’ll wait and see…) While I was definitely impressed by it, and how well he kept up with the graphics on the screen, creating some interesting visuals, I’m not exactly saying to myself, “Man, he better go far in this game, or I’m gonna be upset!” I think the main culprit for this is Light Balance…I’ve already seen so much variety of this kind of act, that I don’t see what much else there is to do, and Light Balance is a tough act to follow…But hey, I liked him enough that I’ll support him…That said, the semi-finals are as far as I see him going unless he can REALLY step up this act…

2: Fratelli Rossi. I almost wonder if that fall was staged for added drama…Despite that, it was still very impressive! Not sure if these guys are gonna go far in this game, but hey, that older brother has clearly sustained multiple falls and god-knows-how-many literal kicks in the butt to make this act happen; They deserve credit!

1: Aaron Crow. Hot candle wax in the eyes? Ouch, but whatever you feel helps the act…The gauze and the tape? Okay…The tin foil wrapped around his head!? Overkill much!? Everything said, this was everything you could ask for from a danger act! Katanas, check! Over-the-top blindfolding, check! Howie’s literal neck on the line, check and check! And I also need to give credit to those two audience members who were totally not plants! For Crow to find not one, but two randomly selected people who could keep a straight face and not be nervously grinning the whole time…Yep…Definitely just two random, attractive people who just happened to be in the audience…“Fruit Ninja” just got a whole lot more EXTREME!!!

Not as good as last week, but it was fine…

PS, Maybe if Alex Hooper was funnier, I’d be rolling my eyes more at the judges getting so triggered…I’ll give Simon this, at least he can take a joke…Even if the joke wasn’t very funny…Greg Giraldo he’s not…

Comments (2)
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Aug 01, 2018
Girls from the escort help me to have fun and relieve stress. And how do you have fun?
Jun 09, 2018
A bit late with this, so let's just get this over with:

10: Celina and Filiberto. Washing my eyes won't be enough, I need a lobotomy. I pretty much agree with your assessment, though I'm afraid to google their name and actually discover more...content. *shudders*

9: Lily Wilker. If she really wanted to impersonate a pet Simon likes, she should have done Howie's voice. This was alright enough as you said, probably more fitting for a small school talent show but at least it was fun.

8: Yumbo Dump. I suppose this was our fun novelty act of the night, kinda like the fountain guys last time. Essentially take the fat guy from Tummy Talk, add another one like him and voila, you've got yourself an act. Amusing enough, especially Mel B's "WHAT?" reaction.

7: Michael Ketterer. Did he specifically go out looking for the most "dad" glasses ever? I'm not in love with his voice, but he seems like a great guy and the emotion he put through was touching. For once I'd like Simon to actually surprise us and not go for the obvious "this will make me look like a good guy too" golden buzzer choice, but hopefully Michael still has plenty to show us.
6: Christina Wells. Another seemingly professional singing act reduced to a "I WAS ONCE REJECTED...SAD TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE" story, but she's vocally pretty damn great and her energy was impressive so I have no real complaints.

5: Da Republik. Another day, another dance act. I don't think I saw anything especially new here, but they did their thing and they did it well. Probably one of the better "ENERGY AND ACROBATICS" dance crew we have seen lately, but I personally prefer more stripped down (calm down, Mel B, I don't mean that literally) and in-sync dancers.

4: Us the Duo. "Me the man, you the girl, together make date?" I have no real idea why I have them ranked so high, I just know I really enjoyed this...maybe I just feel like drinking coffee..but considering how many bland X-factor drop outs they give standing ovations to, I felt a bit bad for these 2 and all the "WELL..I GUESS we could send you through but you didn't sing Nessun dorma so HMMM" wrangling going on.

3: Fratelli Rossi. Yeah, mad props to these guys. This was impressive as hell to watch, Taking a fully grown man and making him look like a rubber doll being bounced around can't be easy. Do they have much more to show us without breaking their necks? I have no idea, but I liked them.

2: Mochi. One of these days Opera singers will start bringing their own LED screens while dressed in day-glo suits and nothing else will ever win again. This was visually stunning though, while also taking a bit away from the actual diabolo tricks...but then again, is there anything really that impressive you can do with a glorified yo-yo at this point? Which is really the problem he will face in the future...

1: Aaron Crow. I keep sensing a pattern now of all the acts I truly like being ones I already know about (this time from BGT), but I can't help myself, Aaron is awesome! It's like if tape-face had a crazy uncle that took the act WAY too far yet could hypnotize you with just one look. Danger acts don't do too well in these shows, especially not ones built around "I'M CREEPY" so he probably won't make it very far, but I'm a fan and have been for a long time, espcecially knowing he's not just a one trick pony but has a lot of different things up his sleeve...

Special mention: Mel B's new hair - my reaction pretty much matches Yumbo Dump's when Mel B buzzed them -"WHYYYY". A so-so episode, but by no means bad. Interesting to think back to the fact that we've had the eventual winning act pretty much explode and go viral right either in episode 1 or episode 2 these past few seasons and yet I don't see anything doing that so far (Sacred Riana and Shin Lim seem to be doing the best on social media so far, but they also have an established fan base already) so either they are saving something big for later, or it will be a more open-ended show this year.

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