Very unfortunate night. After last week's mostly-excellent showcase, we are treated to a night where barely any acts did a good enough job to advance...And even the ones who DID do a good job weren't perfect. I think Piers said it best: Some great acts were sent home last week and probably should have been brought in tonight...if it weren't for similar types of acts also being tonight (motorcycles, feminine cabaret singers, etc.)
So without further ado, here's my ranking of tonight's performances...Though it won't be easy to dig through the crap deciding which was better than which:
12: The Rhinestone Ropers. Unfortunately, after a very high-adrenaline audition, this cattle-rangling couple made the most fatal mistake an act could possibly make on this show: CHANGING THE CONTEXT OF THE ACT! This is especially unfortunate when danger acts do this, because you have such high expectations for them (I'm still barely over Mario and Jenny from two years ago). When you see someone make such a stupid decision, you can't help but wonder...Who put them up to this? I mean, do they really come up with these ideas themselves? To try and sum up this atrocity, I had my hopes up for this act, especially after the other subpar performances. When I heard that the act involved a horse, however, I became quite uncertain how things will work...But who knows? Maybe the horse will add to the thrill of the danger. And then my story became pretty much the same as Howie's: I expected something cool, they put a hat on the floor. I expected them to whip out some deadly weapons, they put a blanket on the horse. Overall, I think I would have buzzed these guys at about the same moment Piers did. And now these two will go down as two of the dumbest people ever to play this game. The lesson for all people who ever enter this contest is this: STICK WITH WHAT MADE YOUR ACT GOOD TO BEGIN WITH! STOP DOING THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF CONTEXT JUST TO IMPRESS THE IMPRESSIONABLE!
11: Thomas John. Let me just say this: It would have gone much better for him had he not kept dropping the pins. It was a goofy act to begin with, some of the staging was a bit distracting, especially the judges' bobbleheads in the background, but overall, it was entertaining to watch, and he was doing some neat juggling tricks with the pins when he wasn't dropping them. The problem is: He dropped them...twice! And for that fatal goof, this was not his night. But I'll at least give him some credit: AT LEAST HE TRIED! He stuck with his act and attempted to show off the humorous display of talent he had. Sure, he failed to stay with it, but at least he didn't TRADE IN HIS ACT FOR A CHEAP BIRTHDAY PARTY TRICK WITH A DAMN HORSE! (I know I'm being hard on the Ropers, and I'm kinda contradicting my own rules on keeping harsh comments to a minimum, but seriously, they screwed up in a way that pushes my button, and I cannot excuse them for that.)
10: Dylan Andre. Definitely the most boring and least talented singer tonight. At some moments his voice sounded good enough, but most of the time he was just out of it. And THANK GOD the judges owned up to their positions and told him that he wasn't good enough to go through! If there's one thing I despise on this show, it's when the judges are super-easy on singers and tell them that they're good enough even when they were undeniably off-key. So with the exception of Sharon, the judges were not afraid to give this pretty-boy the stone-cold facts. HOWEVER, the fact remains: He holds the Handicap of Attractiveness, quite possibly the most deadly Handicap in the hands of male singers. Therefore, especially on a night where there's not enough good acts to choose from, he MIGHT still get voted through purely based on his good looks (in which case I'll puke). Quite honestly, I don't think he's a bad singer, but seriously, he's just the type of act that can ruin it for many superior acts; he wasn't good enough tonight, therefore, he doesn't deserve to go through.
9: Dani Shay. This girl kinda suffered the same thing as Dylan, good at some parts, flat at others. But at least the setting was more likeable and her voice wasn't AS flat. The problem I have with this girl (aside from the controversial decision to send her through after two chances in Vegas) is that when she first entered the competition, she seemed to be establishing herself as a comedic singer. Her singing is okay, but not good enough to trade in parodies of Bieber hits to be taken more seriously. Overall, just not good enough.
8: Attack Dance Crew. They just didn't amount to the sheer awesomeness that was Miami All Stars last week. The staging was enjoyable to watch and some of the moves were quite neat, but the choreography just seemed sloppy. Granted, it takes a lot for a dance group to impress me, but the thing is, these guys just weren't impressive enough.
7: Geechy Guy. This is one of those acts that's definitely not great, but I still find fairly likeable. I'm just going to say this: Piers' reaction to this performance was just predictable. You can't help but wonder if he's preparing to hit that buzzer before certain acts even begin and says to himself, "Just push it! No matter what, before this act is over, push it!" I'll agree that Geechy is not all that funny, but I think he can come up with a clever one-liner now and then. He's definitely no Rodney Dangerfield, but he's still likeable. Nonetheless, not likeable enough to win my vote.
6: Steven Retchless. Once again, it's like Piers was ready to hit the buzzer before the act began and came up with his best excuse before it was over. I really do think this guy is good at what he does! And I think it's unfair of Piers to be so hard on him merely over his personal double-standards. The thing is: It's not for you! Female pole-dancers are primarily for appealing to men, while the few male pole-dancers out there appeal to women! Okay? If it was a woman doing the exact same moves, he probably would have liked it a lot. While Steven wasn't enjoyable enough to win my vote, I still think he is very talented, and who knows? Maybe America will see that too, look past Piers' gender-specific comments, agree with Sharon and Howie and vote for him! Overall, Piers deserved that squirt-gun to the face.
5: Daniel Joseph Baker. I must admit, this one was a LITTLE disappointing. Mainly because his voice was pretty flat throughout the song. But for once, I somewhat agree with the judges' comments on how despite the lack of vocal-power, it was still energetic and entertaining. I still have a few more complaints though. One: I'm not sure how far he will go if he keeps singing Lady Gaga songs. Two: While he WAS energetic and entertaining, the thing is, so was Dezmond Meeks, and I thought Dezmond was even more entertaining while also singing much better. Nonetheless, I won't mind too much if this guy goes through, because I know how well he can sing at other times, and he can probably build his act up to a very entertaining degree. (Maybe HE will be the new Prince Poppycock!)
4: Mona Lisa. I don't know what the judges were going on about this being safe. I honestly think that these girls were by far the best singers tonight. Sure, they weren't as energetic as Daniel, but I don't think that the song they were going with really called for that. I mean, think about Ali and Christina last year: They were HARDLY that good, and yet they still made it much farther than they deserved. These girls have the same type of act, and they are much better! Unlike the other singers tonight, this act was pleasant to my ears, and that's why these two have my vote!
3: Landon Swank. Simply put, this guy had a neat trick, and I can't quite figure out how he did it. That is the beauty of the best magic tricks. While it still wasn't as cool as his Vegas audition, he proved to be a pretty good showman, and I feel that the overall trick was satisfying enough.
2: Smage Bros. Riding Shows. Granted, they seemed to mess up a little at some parts, and I can't quite tell if that trick with the hat at the end was intentional or not, but by God, this is a cool act! This is one of the few acts that brought their A-game, and showed just how dangerous they can be. Being that they are one of only two acts that passed well with all three judges, all I have to say is that they better make it through! I feel like SOMEONE needs to avenge the Flores family from last week, and I don't think the Yellow Designs Stunt Team has that great a chance compared to this...Though Matt Wilhelm might still have a shot...
1: Silhouettes. After a very weak night of performances, things finally ended on a positive note, when this excellent interpreted-dance group showed us just how they do things in their school. While I DO think that there was a little sucking-up with the whole American Patriotism theme, the thing is, this is just a beautiful act! I love these kids, and I'm rooting for them to go all the way! While I still need to see the other acts in this round, I think this might possibly be my very favorite act!
So overall, weak night, but had some shining exceptions.
My votes: 5 for each of my top 4 favorites. How did I do it? I used both my home phone AND my cell phone! There's a trick for all you voters out there if you're desperate enough for you favorite acts to go through.
How America will probably vote:
12.Thomas John
11.The Rhinestone Ropers
10.Geechy Guy
9.Attack Dance Crew
8.Mona Lisa
7.Dani Shay
6.Steven Retchless
5.Dylan Andre
4.Landon Swank
3.Smage Bros. Riding Shows
2.Daniel Joseph Baker
1.Silhouettes
Edited on 07/20/2011 12:05am
Edited 12 total times.