This show's format may seem a bit unorthodox(hole up girls ages 18-26 in a posh pad in LA, document their every move, force them to do humiliating and unnecessary stuff), but it actually works...
8.8
Forged from the mind (and forehead) of supermodel Tyra Banks, America's Next Top Model (or ANTM as its called by its lazy fans)has made a name for itself by being "that show that exploits young women, their fakey emotions and their PMS fits". While that's half true, it also shows the cruel, judgmental, and thin side of the fashion industry. Dive in and be immersed and hooked to this show that's had 8 cycles in 3 1/2 years! It's like meth! Fun for the whole family (may not be fun for those over 55)!!!
The first season of top model was, in my opinion, one of the best seasons, simply because I don't think anyone knew what they were in for. There was Adrienne who was from the Joliet ghettos and she got on Elyse's nerves with the "Jay and Silent Bob" quotes, she was also my favorite and she was also the miltitant atheist who had problems with Robyn who was the ultra-devout Christian who befriended Shannon who also made friendly with Kesse (who's from the city I live in) who, I believe, had no problems with Ebony's lesbiosity, but Ebony had a problem with Giselle's wastefulness and spoiled-brat attitude. There were some other wh0res there, but I didn't care for them. Anyway, Adrienne had convulsions and went into shock when she won. Did I mention she has a dislike of Tyra now?
The second cycle rolled on in and it displayed more losers from Middle America. Shandi, my favorite, had an obvious eating disorder and did very well except for the fact that she was always overshadowed by April, the over-analyzer. Ummm...I liked Mercedes, not because of her lupus, but because she exuded so much flavor and culture and vivaciousness. Camille was the wannabe from Jamaica Queens, I think, and she was the fakest one out of the entire group. She took mediocre photos, but, somehow, she made it to the final 5 and went on a "free" trip to Milan. Catie was the youngest and she looked like a child prostitute. She could walk, but when she cut her hair she turned into Dakota Fanning Jr. Let's see...who else...oh, yeah, Anna, the fat loser who left the show, basically, on the 3rd day. She had a son at home and she couldn't model, blah, blah, blah. She didn't want to be nude and all that jazz, whatever. She sat there for a while breast feeding her son and exposing her breasts to him then, why not show her goods now? She had such promise. Lastly, there was Yoanna, who was probably the whitest, stiffest, plainest, blandest, plain-Jane model they've ever had. Okay, her face looked beautiful and her cheekbones WERE her forehead, I get it, but anyone can slap on a motorcycle hat and take a good picture. There were some other losers in the background, but I don't care for them. Overall, it was a good season.
The third season was probably the best and the last of the good drama-fueled and catty menstrual cycles. Eva the Diva was probably the sexiest one on there and she won, what a surprise (not really). YaYa was the one who thought she had it and thought she was the hottest sh!t this side of the Atlantic. She was good, but couldn't compare to Eva. Amanda, the "blind" woman with the son was an excellent model who probably could've won the first two seasons if she was on there. Ann, for some strange reason, made it to the final four. This was the oddest thing in Oddsville. And not only did she make it that far, she beat out Toccara when they were both in the bottom two. This was the greatest injustice the show has ever committed. They gave Ann 80 octillion chances and Toccara only got one because she "wasn't the same". I was sick, disgusted, and over it by the next episode. I loved this season and it may be the best ones ever.
Ugh...the show was so diluted at this point and I was so high off of it, I just kept on watching. Despite it's blandness, there were some pretty good models. Kahlen, the trailer trash from Oklahoma, Tiffany, the former sassy black girl from Miami and Naima, the mixed, chopped and diced-up breed from Rust City Detroit. I think the models were better this time around, but they were so lame! Brittany WAS the porn-star who turned into the Virgin Mary by the end of the show. They got rid of Brandy so quick that there was smoke coming from my television. Michelle was the unbearably plain lesbian, who, unlike Kim in the next season, didn't try to get it on with Brittany! Well, nevermind, by that time she was Mother Teresa. Oh, and Keenyah was there too.
Cycle 5...let's see. Lisa should've won, Nicole's the 2nd plainest and blandest winner, Kim was the incredibly horny and feisty lesbian Bree was my favorite and Nik was a beautiful brat. Jayda should've got hit by a car before I started liking her again.
Boring. Boring. Boring. Jade kept it interesting. Dani(elle) won (representing for LR!!!)and Joanie was good too. Sara looked a smidge like Scarlett Johansson and others were there.
I don't really remember this cycle. Melrose: loved, Twins: genius, Eugena: loser, Caridee: psycho woman from ND.
I love the show and it's so addictive, but Tyra, where are the claws??? Bring them out like you did for your @$$!!! (BTW, I did write more in all-caps, but these people over on this website get physical when you do, so I had to downgrade.)