Maybe Lost could take a cue from ANTM. I know, I know, two entirely different shows. But several aching queries were answered tonight: Dionne - is she any good? What's going on with Brit's weave? What is Jael saying? Is Renee the villain of Cycle 8? What does Whitney's future hold? Answers to these questions and more tonight!
In this episode, some of the girls who've lately been given a backseat by the editing room returned to the center of the action. Renee was back with her bitchy commentary; Sarah's cockiness resurfaced; even Cycle 7's Mel "Don't Need That 'Issa'" Rose was there, to inspire them to create supernames to go with their burgeoning supermodel careers.
This segued nicely into the question of Dionne, aka "Wholahay," or "Who-la- who?" as Miss Jay would later rename her. Well, tonight we learned a lot about her: She has a daughter, she's eloquent under pressure, she's confident (one would have to be to choose "Wholahay"), has learned to exude the model look and poise, yet knows when to shed tears for the greatest dramatic effect - and not to mess up Benny Medina's Hermes hankerchief. Thus, she won the challenge of networking at the celeb-infested party.
But Jael definitely won the spotlight. Loved that she told Laguna Beach's Jason, "I think you're real lame." (Agreed.) Highly entertaining to see her getting on 50 Cent's last nerve and telling him, "My mom's black, my dad's a Jew. I'm blewish, you can't hang with that." And I don't know what was better: 50 Cent telling her, "You're gonna see a smoke signal when I want you to come back" - i.e., get out of my face - or when he pushed her into the pool. Oh, but then I also enjoyed Tyra's manager Benny Medina giving Jael and Nata, aka Natasha (who appeared to join Jael in the pool voluntarily), a verbal smackdown for messing with 50 Cent and getting soaked in the process.
Meanwhile, Renee found a fellow mean girl in Nicole Richie, telling her all the other girls were bitches, especially Jael (cut to Jael "dancing," arms flailing). So of course, like a good little mean girl, Nicole told Jael that Renee hated her, not that it fazed Jael at all. What an entertaining soiree, no?
In other Jael news, I discovered a way to understand every word she says: closed captioning (that is, when the CW doesn't subtitle her comments). For example, what did she say to Renee that made Whitney jump up and down with glee? "You're really beautiful, it's such a f**kin' waste with no brain."
The photo shoot this week required the girls to take four pictures, each displaying a different side of their personality. Moreover, the girls get to do their own makeup and hair. For the most part everyone does ok. The standouts are Jael (for doing well) and Sarah (for being too posy).
What's hilarious about about the shoot is Renee...she goes from telling anyone who will listen how all the girls hate her and she doesn't care, to warning that they'd better be careful about who they make feel like an outcast. She's a lot like Amarosa--she wants to be the bitch but not wear the bitch title.
Back at the house Tyra drops by to have a heart-to-heart with the girls to discuss their "revelations". Renee was placed in the hot seat, the girls ripped her apart, she weeped and apologized (kind of), saying she's misunderstood but not denying that she's mean and uninterested in making friends. Then why is she so surprised that no one likes her?! Anyway, on to more important topics...Brit's hair. Her explanation later while sitting in hair and makeup: "My weave has been possessed by an evil spirit, and it's taken over and destroyed it." At least Tyra promised they'd "do something about that hamster that is dying on your head."
At panel the judges love Jael's picture and give her first place. They thought Sarah's shots were too posed (and they were), but I felt Brittany's shots were überposed, too. Jay said this shoot finally brought out Brit's weaknesses; yet Twiggy deemed them "Parisian Elle." Whitelle, aka Whitney, has a pretty face and pretty photos, and Tyra sees her having "this package" of eloquence and self-expression and poise. That's all fine and good, but guest judge Medina was honest (yet diplomatic) in bursting Tyra's bubble, saying, "That ain't what the gig calls for. There are other standards we look to for a model, and I don't think she has them." But Tyra's keeping the dream alive, and though Whitelle was once again in the bottom two, she's in the game for another week and Sarah was bid adieu.