This week in Top Model history was an excellent one. The girls meet up with Miss Jay (in complete drag) and they get schooled on choreographed walking. Some girls do amazingly poor and some girls really walk it out. Renee, with her head in the stratosphere, thought she was the hottest stuff, until Jay told her she sucked major eggs. Jaslene also got rusty critiques and felt taken aback by the comments. The girls then meet up with...um...some runway instructor, and they find out they have to wear some over the top and amazingly disgusting prom dresses. Not to be outdone, Miss Jay introduces the challenge by wearing a Dynasty-esque prom dress. Why doesn't he just go through with the operation and join the competition already??? Jaslene and Renee, the dueling duelmasters, both suck and blow in their walk and odd-looking (yet stunning) Brittany wins. Her head looked like it was about to roll off the runway and into the high schoolers but, sadly, it didn't. The Oh-so-thin-and-barely-discernible Sarah flashes her boy chest and the girls go wild (not). It was more like it was incredibly awkward for the girls in the front row and Miss Jay was bragging about his breast size backstage. He really didn't do that, but I could see him running out from backstage and throwing his breasts for the poor kids to see. Like I said earlier, Brittany won and Jaslene made the most mistakes. The photo shoot gimmick this week was "High School Cliques". WOW!!! Another character shoot! Oh, come on, Jay. PLEASE come up with a photo shoot that doesn't involve the girls to be something they're not!!! Next week: The Whores of Ancient Babylon (only in my dreams)or the Sailor Senshi! Anyway, Renee b!tches and moans like never before about how she hates that every other girl got an easy role and she was stuck with the difficult role (class clown). Sorry to bash your observation, Ms. Negligent Mother, but I think Jaslene had the hardest shoot. Who can convincingly portray the weird kid and make it striking??? She can and she, in my opinion, had the best photo (followed closely by Brittany and Jael). During the elimination, Vag Arms and Ham Banks (and her MIGHTY forehead), decided on the elimination. Twiggy tried to stand out and Nigel was bland. That one guy was there and so was Miss Jay... Anyway, they wax poetically about almost everyone except Stephanie (the "ho") and Natasha (the creepy teacher's pet), thus they are the are in the bottom two. My favorite mail-order bride makes it and I'm glad! Can't wait to hear her butcher the English language once again!!!
The whole Vag Arms and Ham bit is used in fourfour's review of ANTM. I'm saying this so I don't take credit for something I didn't create. Everything else is 100% me!