A&E (Mini-Series 2008)
Man, I thought the first part was going so well. The second part started out ok but then it just went horribly wrong. I can't remember where the turning point was... probably about the time that Andromeda started turning the bushes red at about 100mph. It was still tolerable for a bit. Then the very end was horrific.
I can't really remember the book all that well so I can't say with certainty how badly the adaptation was... but good or bad dialog and acting can still make or break a movie. Unfortunately this was the latter. As soon as they explained the nuclear device under the bunker I knew that it would start to go off and the only way to shut it off would be to chop off Silver Spoon's thumb. The duck phone is ringing Ricky! Oh wait, you died an unclimactic death by falling into a kiddie pool at the end of a uneccesarily large and accessable maintenace shaft. I mean come on, it was supposed to be totally sealed. Oh wait! the air ducts! I'm sure the engineers totally missed that!
The part where Stone was trying to deactivate the bomb was the worst piece of acting I have seen outside of porn. So did whatever spray him in the face not only blind him but make him crippled and retarded? I mean, its a nuclear bomb, try and at least sit up for 3 seconds... The whole side story with Will and Grace guy and cow girl could have been almost completely cut out. And the end scene with Stone's ex wife and son.... It was like Michael J Fox trying to put the finishing touches on a sports car with spray paint and a hammer.
This was about twice as long as it needed to be and the filler totally replaced the key plot points which were hurried and ruined.
Heres the movie in 30 seconds:
Oh no, a terrible virus!
Good thing we have a lab just for this.
Let's nuke the town!
It mutated, lets nuke the town!
I need to buy coke and cover the story!
It mutated, let's nuke the town!
It got nuked anyway!
It can communicate!
Its from the future!
I'm not listening! Nananananananah!
We have an antidote!
Expected plot twist!
Main characters die uncreatively.
Solved with 20 seconds to spare!
I knew you could do it! Kiss me!
My daddy isn't such a loser.
It was like Michael J Fox trying to put the finishing touches on a sports car with spray paint and a hammer.
|Well just to tell you, when he was going through the shaft and he was blinded. But not only was he blinded, but he fell from the ceiling dude and that's what made him cripled. He probably broke his arm and/or his legs when he fell and thats why he was crippled|
Ok, so I'm about 46 minutes in to part 2, and these guys are getting "attacked" by birds. Seriously? These guys are wearing Interceptor vests with, I'm assuming, SAPI plates, yet they were still somehow taken down by birds. Even without SAPI plates, the layers of kevlar would still protect against avian attacks.
Oh wow, so not what I was expecting - the cheese factor in the second half is just incredible. I remember the so-called kiddie pool is the coolant tank for the nuclear generator, and something about how even a half a second bath in it would be fatal, but damn... I love my cheese, but this was bad...