Captain Dylan Hunt
The Andromeda crew wear High Guard ECM generators, which interfere with "smart bullets", and allow them to survive most firefights.
(Harper and Trance discuss his plan)
Harper: OK, uh, we use Gerentex's money to buy the diary's location. Then we go back to the Andromeda, we tell Dylan. Or maybe we don't have to tell Dylan. Either way, we are going to Tarn Vedra where the livin' is easy and the women have four legs!
Trance: Aren't you forgetting something?
Harper: Uh, well let me see. We get fame and fortune. Gerentex gets nothing. We make the biggest discovery in the history of the known worlds. Gerentex gets nothing. What am I forgetting? Nothing!
Maru Computer: Hostile weapons fire. PDL's activated.
(Harper and Trance brace themselves as the Maru is shaken by a blast and sparks start flying)
(Harper and Trance return to the Maru after being chased by Reaper and the casino guards)
Harper: Well, that went quite well. (As he runs in, he's caught by surprise by Gerentex, who has freed himself, grabs Harper's gun, and aims it at them)
Gerentex: I think it went swimmingly.
Harper (to Trance): THIS is why you kill him.
(Harper is in the pilot chair, Gerentex has the gun aimed at him)
Harper: Aren't you forgetting the math, here? Dead Harper plus Reactor Overload equals Sayonara, Nightsider.
Gerentex: Yes, but it occurs to me that you don't have any vital organs in your kneecaps. Do you?
Harper: You wanna change your life for the better? Put a bullet in your head.
Trance: Seamus Zelazny Harper, you take that back this instant.
Harper: Trance, THAT is the bad guy. Habla es 'bad guy'? Villain? Antagonist? Thug? Pain in the--
Trance (interupting): Just because he comes from a different culture with different drives and values doesn't make him a bad person.
Harper: Hmmm. That's strange. Aren't we forgetting something? Yes, I think we are. Something important. OH YEAH! HE KILLED YOU!
Gerentex: Not permanently! And after I saw what happened at the casino, I truly regret my harsh actions. To think that I almost... hurt... such a sweet, understanding, profitable young lady... I promise I'll never do it again.
Trance: Oh, you don't have to explain. I completely understand. If you hadn't shot me then, you could have lost control completely, and then where would you have been. (To Harper) He was just trying to protect himself.
Gerentex: Exactly. I couldn't let you play me for a fool then, and... (Trance has come forward while they talked, and Gerentex grabs her tail, when she was just about to make a grab for his gun)... NOT NOW! (Harper starts to make a move while Gerentex is occupied with Trance, but Gerentex shoves him back, regaining control of the situation) Et tu, Trance? You know, I REALLY hoped I wouldn't have to kill anybody!
(On the Andromeda, Dylan is watching a video of Beka)
Beka (on-screen): And furthermore, if you can't see what you're getting out of this deal, then you are not just the most petty, self-righteous technocrats in three galaxies. THEN, you're even stupider than you look!
(The video pauses. Dylan gazes pensively at the video, Beka behind him)
Beka: Yeah. I can explain about... this...
Dylan: Walk with me.
Beka: Oh boy. (a few minutes later...)
Dylan: It wasn't just that you insulted the Perseids. It's the way that you did it over, and over, and over again. And Beka, the language, it was...
Beka: Dylan, when you recruited us to join your little quest, you didn't just appeal to the better angels in our natures. You told us how it would be good for us.
Dylan: Yeah, that's funny. I remember that speech, and at no point do I recall suggesting that you 'Get your chins screwed on straight'.
Beka: Yeah, well, I got the Perseids' attention, didn't I? And now that I have it, we can remind them why the Commonwealth deal works for them.
Dylan: Assuming they ever talk to us again.
Andromeda: Dylan, sorry to interrupt, but I have an incoming transmission from one of the Xinti Directors.
Dylan: Probably Hohne calling. Pipe it to my quarters. I'll calm him down.
Andromeda: Actually, it's one of Hohne's opponents, and he's asking for Beka.
(Beka gives a satisfied little smirk, and heads off to talk to the Perseid)
(The Maru exits slipstream)
Gerentex: This will have to be an in-and-out operation.
Harper: Hey! My favorite kind. (Harper pilots the Maru toward an asteroid) Ladies and germ, on your left, Hasturi's World. Right next to the galaxy's biggest ball of twine.
(Gerentex, Harper, and Trance enter Hasturi's asteroid)
Gerentex: Perfect. Hasturi left the power on and everything's still pressurized.
Harper: Wow. The lights are on, and nobody's been home for over a hundred years. The guy must've been brilliant. I don't get it, though. There must be kilometers of tunnels in this rock. I mean, why go to all the trouble?
Trance: Maybe he was afraid of the dark.
(They come to a closed door with a panel on the wall near it. Trance has paused at a picture painted on the wall of an icky, six-armed demon type thing. Harper looks at it, too)
Harper: Must've been a rough trip to Tarn Vedra.
Gerentex: Look, we can gape at the scenery later. Right now, we have to find the mad Perseid's sanctum sanctorum. Our pursuers can't be far behind and we all know what that means.
Harper: That you're gonna get down on your knees and beg for mercy like a little girl? (Gerentex takes offense and aims the gun at Harper)
Gerentex: There are two kinds of people in this universe, Mr. Harper. The kind with loaded guns, and the kind who open doors. YOU open the doors.
Harper: Fine. FINE. Allow me to work the old Harper magic. (He pulls out a wire and jacks into the door panel) Open, says me. (The door opens and Trance claps appreciatively)
Trance: Good for you!
(Beka is on command. Dylan enters, in a hurry)
Dylan: Move! There's another crisis on Xinti! We've got five minutes!
Beka: Again? What now?
Dylan: (Segaria) Beach. Celebration for a job well done. (He and Beka exchange grins) But we need to get our butts planetside before the sun goes down. Come on. Move! Go go go! (He chases Beka playfully out of command. On Xinti, Beka and Dylan sit at a table overlooking a beautiful sunset with champagne)
Harper: Hey, Trance, I know I got a little carried away back there, and I'm glad you talked some sense into me. But you weren't REALLY gonna...shoot me...were ya?
Trance: Absolutely not. Not any more than you were gonna REALLY shoot Gerentex, right? (meaningful pause from Harper)
Harper: ... Right. So. Still friends?
Trance: Best friends.
Harper: Good. You know what you've done, don't you? You've kissed off our entire tundra flower monopoly--our best commodity.
Trance: No, I haven't. I gave Gerentex a beautiful thing to call his own. Beautiful things can make sad people happy and bad people good. When you think about it, beautiful things can change the universe.
Trance: Well they've stopped shooting at us. I think they're dead.
Harper: Maybe they finally decided to cooperate.
Gerentex: Keep working.
Harper: Fine. Fine. FINE. (The door opens suddenly, smacking Gerentex) Sorry. (He smiles proudly)
Harper: That giant sucking sound you hear is Reaper and company leaving the building. (Reaper gets sucked out of the asteroid)
Gerentex: You are a very bad person.
Harper: You're welcome. Now let's move on to the main course so I can get off this rock.
(The three enter a cluttered room. A dead Perseid is here)
Trance:: This is it. Hasturi's lair.
Harper: Yeah, judging by the, uh, dead Perseid with the hole in his head, I'd say you're right.
(Trance notices another body nearby)
Trance: Whoa, I guess paranoid people really do have enemies. A dead Nietzschean.
Harper: I'm gonna go look for that diary. (Gerentex aims the gun, stopping him)
Gerentex: Trance will find it. You, stay there.
Trance: You know, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, though I don't know why you'd want to catch flies. They're actually quite dirty little things.
Gerentex: Just find the diary.
Trance: Right. Finding it. If I was a diary of a mad Perseid explorer, where would I hide?
Gerentex (Still aiming at Harper): Take your time. My trigger finger never gets tired. And if it does, well, I won't shed any tears.
Trance: I would. For both of you.
Harper: You know, as much as I enjoy these long, lingering looks into your beady little eyes, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship.
Trance: I found it.
(Gerentex turns to look at her, and Harper takes advantage of his distraction to make a dive for the gun the dead Nietzschean is holding. He and Gerentex exchange fire. They both dive for better cover, but end up lying face to face on the floor, guns aimed at each other's heads)
Gerentex: I have your ECM generator.
Harper: At this range, my aim's pretty good.
(On Hasturi's asteroid, Harper and Gerentex still have guns aimed at each other. Both are starting to show the strain)
Trance: Ummm, guys? It's been, like, twenty minutes now, and I'm really getting bored. How 'bout this? I'm going to count to three and on three, you're going to get up, put your guns down, and we're going to talk about this like adults. (Harper and Gerentex both agree, nodding wordlessly) Great! This'll be much better than Yesheedono. OK. One. Two.
(Harper and Gerentex both make their moves jumping up and back, opening fire on each other again. Trance screams, tries to get out of the way, then falls against a console, crying out like she's been hit)
(Harper moves to help her, Gerentex moves to attack Harper, and as both of them get to her, Trance whirls around, a gun in each hand, and stops them in their track, a gun aimed at each of them)
Gerentex: She's quick.
Trance: I am so sick of this, you two. With your violence and your threats and your shooting stuff! Neither of you gets it, do you? There isn't enough love in the universe as it is, and you're both just helping to kill off what's left. So SHAPE UP! Because if you don't show each other a little peace, love, and understanding, I am going to kill you BOTH.
Harper: Trance, you don't mean that!
Trance: I do. You know why? 'Cause I could get away with it because I'm cute.
Gerentex: You wouldn't.
Trance: Oh? (She suddenly goes into sweet Trance mode, tears in her eyes) 'Dylan, it was so horrible. They just...they killed each other right in front of me. And I tried to stop them, really I tried, but I couldn't'.
Gerentex: By the sacred light, she's right. I can just see that High Guard fossil now, hugging her and saying, 'Trance, it'll be OK', while we lay here dead.
Trance: Drop your guns NOW! Or in a few days, Rev Bem's going to find me on the Obs Deck and counsel me on my tragic loss.
Harper: Drop our guns?
(They both set their guns aside)
Trance: Good. Very good. Now, move!
(She keeps the guns on them until they've walked away from the guns)
(The Maru docks at a drift)
Gerentex: So, you get the diary and I get nothing once again. Am I wrong to feel angry, disappointed?
Trance: No. You get something: the warm feeling of knowing that you did good.
Dylan: Protection. Peace of mind. Mints on their pillows?
Rommie: Just don't let them dissect me.
Dylan: Relax. I'm not going to offer the Perseids anything. If I did, I'd be making the opposition's case for them. They say that we're no better than the Nietzscheans, and they'd be right. We have to make the Perseids see that not all humans are consumed by greed for money, power, and control.
Rommie: And how do we do that?
Dylan: Give them clean towels?
Harper: Any, uh, thoughts, your purpleness?
Trance: Signs are hazy, ask again later. But we're leaking pions and AG fields are barely holding.
Harper: Fine. A game of chicken. (He turns the Maru around) Let's bring it. (The Maru aims for the fighter, and at the last minute, the other ship veers off. Harper laughs) Entering slipstream. (The ship enters slipstream) Whoo Hoo! Damn, I'm good!
Gerentex: Hello! Does anyone remember whose idea it was?
Harper: Shut up, rat. Just tell me where to go.
(A slipstream portal opens and the Maru heads toward it, but veers off at the last second as Reaper's ship dives at them. Harper is piloting)
Trance: Harper! Slipstream!
Harper: I'm working on it! But every time we're almost out of the star's gravity well, Chuckles out there cuts us off and starts shooting again. (The Maru takes another hit. From another room, Gerentex yells)
Gerentex: May I make a suggestion?
Harper: Uh, let me think. NO!
Gerentex: Oh, you're right! Your plan is working SO well, you certainly don't need MY help!
(Harper and Trance enter a casino)
Trance: Oh, this is so neat! You can win money, go to the all-you-can-eat buffet, and even enjoy the comedy stylings of the Supreme Mirth Inducer, Unru.
Harper: I dunno. Perseid stand-up comedy? Some things are just SO wrong.
(Trance turns on a video-communications thing in her wrist to talk to Gerentex)
Trance: Gerentex, are you there?
Gerentex: Where else would I be? Oh, the injustice of it all. The inherent brutality. It's the system that keeps us Nightsiders down.
Harper: Yeah, yeah. Cry me a river and drown in it. Just identify your friend so we can get out of Loser's Palace, here, will ya?
Harper: Uh, Miss Andulasia, I presume? (She sizes up Harper sexily)
Andulasia: And who wants to know?
Trance: We're friends of Gerentex.
Harper: I prefer associates.
Andulasia: Oh, I don't think you can ever have enough friends, wouldn't you agree?
Harper (flustered): Uh, yeah, uh....
Andulasia: Shhhh. I prefer my men strong and silent.
Trance: Well then you won't like Harper.
Harper: Trance! Will you...I... (He catches himself and makes a "zipped lips" gesture)
Andulasia: Much better.
(Andulasia leaves, wrapping herself around Harper on the way past them)
Harper: She wants me. She really wants me!
Gerentex (on Trance's wrist thing): She wants to get you alone, slit your throat, and rifle your pockets. But go ahead, see for yourself.
Harper: I will. (He starts to leave)
Trance: Harper! Stay.
Harper: And do what? We can't raise that kind of cash, even if we sold the Maru.
Trance: Sure we can. (A short while later, Trance happily rakes a TON of money off a casino table, having a great time) Yesheedono! Yesheedono!
Harper: All hail the conquering Trance!
Trance: (angry) Why do you do this?
Trance: Why do you point guns at people and threaten them?
Gerentex: I find it very efficacious.
Trance: Well, I don't. In fact, I think it makes you look like a complete butt-head. And if you think you can try and kill me, well think again! No, in fact, I dare you! Come on! What's the matter? You afraid of a little purple girl? Yes. You are. Because you're a criminal, and all criminals are stupid, short-sighted, self-centered--
Gerentex (interupting): You know, hurtful stereotypes like that give people like me a bad name.
Trance: No. People like YOU give people like you a bad name. If you had half the brain that you claim to have, you would know that if we had worked together, we would come out on top. But no, instead you decide to play stupid power games about who gets to have control and who gives the orders. If you keep walking down this path, you're going to end up a very unhappy person.
Gerentex: You really do care, don't you?
Gerentex: Well, I don't care! I've got the gun, I'm in control, and everything is right with my world. (Alarms go off)
Maru: Hostile weapons fire. PDL's activated. (The Maru takes hits)
Harper: Oh, yeah, you got the world on a string, baby.
(They're still running away from Reaper)
Gerentex: Run for your lives! But let me go first!
Trance: Harper, be careful. He has two loaded guns. You only have a bad temper.
Gerentex: Aren't you...dead?
Trance: I got better.
Gerentex: Huh...lucky you.
Harper: Hey, rat-face! You owe me 84,000 thrones! And sorry, but we're all full of failed, evil masterminds right now. And you're full of something else, so try back tomorrow.
(A bounty hunter appears on the Maru's viewscreen)
Bounty Hunter: I'm looking for a Nightsider.
Trance: Well, we have one right here. (Gerentex grabs her tail, yanking her away) Ow! Ow! Ow! (He shoots the screen, then turns back on Harper and Trance)
Gerentex: Don't stand there staring like he's the Vedran Empress! Get us out of here! He'll kill us all!
(As the Maru moves away from the drif)
Harper: Uh, please secure any loose articles, and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.
Gerentex: Oh, shut up.
Rommie: Harper. The amount of garbage he creates and consumes boggles the mind. Take this disgusting substance, for example. (She holds up a Sparky can) Sparky Cola. It has no nutritional value, rots the teeth, and slowly dissolves the digestive tract. And yet he imbibes at least three thousand milliliters of it every single day.
Beka: Yeah. Harper's twin muses: chaos and caffeine.
Harper: So there's a price on your head. Oh, good. Maybe I'll get my money back after all.
Gerentex: If I were you, I'd spend less time trying to plot MY downfall and more time trying to guess what I'm going to do with the two of you.
Trance: Oh, I love playing guessing games!
Gerentex: Ha ha. Call me a traditionalist, but when I kill someone, I really do prefer it when they stay dead. Now, be quiet, the two of you. I'm trying to think.
Harper: Don't strain yourself.
Gerentex: Fine. If you don't want ME to come up with a way to integrate YOU into MY brilliant plans and use you to my advantage, then I'll just kill you now and be done with it!
Trance: Uh, No. No! We want you to think. We encourage you to think.
Harper: Hell yeah! We'll even help you. Why don't you, uh, tell us what you're up to, and we'll see if we can make ourselves useful.
Gerentex: Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Let's have old Gerentex take us into his confidence and reveal his latest scheme for wealth and success, and then we'll betray him and keep it all for ourselves!
Trance: (affronted) We would never do that.
Harper: I would. (raises his hand)
Trance: True. (nods)
Gerentex: Why do I bother? (He prepares to shoot them again)
Harper: Ah-ah. Not so fast, rat-face. If you shoot me, it's Dosva-Bye-Bye for you.
Gerentex: Well, I'm sure you've got some explanation to back up your pathetic little threats.
Harper: How's this for a little known, yet highly entertaining fact? You see, whenever the teacher lets us take the Maru out on these little class field trips, I key the power generators to my life signs.
Trance: You do?
Harper: See? Little known.
Gerentex: You'd blow up this whole ship with your little purple friend on board?
Harper: Trance has come back from the dead before. She's, uh, tricky that way. What makes you think she can't do it again?
Gerentex: Well, let's find out, shall we?
(He starts to aim at Trance, but Harper jumps in front of her)
Trance: Yeah. What he said. No.
Harper: You hurt her, and I will kill you myself.
Gerentex: You and which Vedran cavalry, my boy?
Harper: You don't get it, do you? You harm one hair on her head, and I will come after you. And then you'll have to kill me, because I absolutely WILL not stop until one of us is Magog food.
Gerentex: You're bluffing.
Harper: Try me. See if you can wrap your little rat brain around this. You kill her, I kill you. You lose. You kill her and you kill me, the ship blows up. You still lose. Either way, you lose.
Trance: Ummmm. Excuse me. Can we please discuss the 'killing her' part?
Gerentex: Fine. I was hoping to save this for a more dire emergency, but I can see you two leave me no choice. I'll have to resort to Plan B.
Harper: Plan B?
(He looks at Trance then back at Gerentex)
Gerentex: Yes. Plan B.
(He shoots a metal dart of some sort at Harper, hitting him in the arm)
Harper: Ahhh... Son of a...
Gerentex: I've just injected you with a microscopic generator which produces quite a nasty little shock. All with the press of a button. (He holds up a small box) This button. But why take my word for it? I believe the expression is: "Show. Don't tell"? (He pushes a button and Harper gets zapped painfully. Trance catches him as he collapses. Gerentex approaches her ominously) Well. Now. Who's next?
Gerentex: Tell me, do you have any idea what the monthly interest on eleven million thrones might be?
Harper: I know what it is on the 84 grand you still owe me. (Gerentex pushes his button, and Trance & Harper both react with pain)
Trance: Ow! Ow! Ow! I didn't even say anything!
Gerentex: Oh, I am sorry, my dear, but I'm afraid I only have one button, and two hostages.
Gerentex: Well, you know, in this business, you're only as good as your latest scam. My strip-mining venture on Infinity Atoll, my Roboto-Courtesan manufacturing plant, the religion I founded. All gone. Forgotten. Pfft. Ah...this is the part where you're supposed to say, 'Oh, Gerentex, that's so sad'.
(Trance and Harper scramble to do so)
Trance: Oh, that's so sad!
Harper: Oh, you're breaking my freakin' heart!
Gerentex: So, I find myself on that rust-bucket drift with no way off. And to make matters worse, I was on the verge of the Big Score, Harper. Something even bigger than the Andromeda deal. A bonanza of unparalleled plenitude.
Harper: Plenitude. As in cash?
Gerentex: Of course cash, idiot. And then, who should I see but the two of you, handing out flowers and getting the brush-off from that snaggle toothed waitress.
Harper: Hey! Kathleen was not snaggle toothed. And you should talk, smiley.
(Gerentex starts to zap him again)
(The Maru exits slipstream)
Gerentex: I don't recall giving you permission to stop. We are on a tight schedule.
Harper: Look. I'm tired, OK? My butt's asleep and I got a mother of a caffeine withdrawal headache. Could you at least grab me a Sparky?
Gerentex: Oh, you want a Sparky? Here. (He pushes his button, zapping them both again)
Harper: OK, listen to me, and listen very carefully. Every time you press that button, it hurts a little less. Keep it up, pretty soon it's not gonna hurt at all. And then I'm gonna break free, crack your skull open, and drink a beer over your fuzzy corpse.
Trance: Harper, don't say that!
Harper: What? You want me to be nice to him?
Trance: You're supposed to be the good guy.
Harper: Correction. Standing next to you, Beka, Rev, Rommie, Dylan, or... uhhh.... well anyway... then I'm one of the good guys. But I didn't survive twenty years on that hellhole we lovingly call Earth by being Santa's little helper. I survived by being the nastiest piece of work that ever clubbed someone over the head in a back alley over a hunk of cheese. So, please, keep pressing that little button. Get your money's worth. 'Cause then it's gonna be the worst day of the end of your life.
Gerentex: You know, I've always wanted to see a human glow in the dark. (about to shock them again)
Trance: (interrupting) It must be hard being a Nightsider.
Gerentex: Excuse me?
Trance: It must be awful.
Gerentex: Oh, my dear, you don't know the half of it. Do you know, the only way a Nightsider can survive these days is to be so filthy rich, so mind-bendingly wealthy that people can't help but accept you.
Harper: I'd accept you... loosening these ropes.
Gerentex: Why don't I just tighten them until your limbs pop like a Than grub under a magnifying glass? (Harper suddenly turns off the Maru's artificial gravity and jerks the controls, sending the Maru into a spiral and Gerentex is tossed around)
Harper: What's the matter, Gerentex? Artificial gravity misbehaving? Sorry, I'd love to help you, but I'm a little TIED UP right now. (He spins the Maru more violently, and Gerentex is knocked out. As the ship stabilizes, Trance easily frees herself from the ropes): Hey! Why didn't you do that before?
Trance: Well, he was talking and I didn't want to interrupt him. And he had that buzzer thing.
Harper: Well, it's broken now, so untie me. I gotta go see a Nightsider about an obscenely large pile of money.
Trance: You have to promise not to kill him.
Harper: What? Wha... All right. I promise. (A short while later, Gerentex is tied, and Harper is beating him up)
Trance: Harper, you promised!
Harper: I just promised not to KILL him.
Gerentex: You think this frightens me? I've been tortured by Nietzscheans.
Harper: Wow. What a coincidence. So was I. (flicks his nose) You wanna see some highlights? (He starts to hit Gerentex again, but Trance stops him)
Trance: Hey! If this is that, good cop, bad cop game you were telling me about, isn't this the place where I'm supposed to play 'good cop'?
Harper: Sorry, mon cheri. Welcome to, uh, a new game: bad cop, worse cop. And, uh, guess which one I am. (He brings out a scary flaming nanowelder)
Trance: Gerentex, why don't you just tell us what we want to know? (To Harper) What do we want to know?
Harper: Oh, the usual. What's the scam, how do I get in on it, what's it worth, and where do I get my 84,000 thrones!
Gerentex: This is it, then. The big goodbye. (to Trance) Are you sure you won't come with me? We could tour all the casinos in the known worlds. Croupiers everywhere would tremble at the sound of our names.
Trance: Mmmmm...maybe another time.
Gerentex: You know, I really am sorry I shot you. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. (He turns to leave)
Trance: Wait. I want to give you something. Here. (She hands him a box with a few tundra flowers in it)
Gerentex: Anesterian Tundra Flowers? The most efficient oxygen producer ever discovered? I thought they were extinct! If I could get these three to reproduce, I can repay my debts. I might even... (He looks over at Trance and is suddenly weepy) You know, this is, um, the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.
Trance: You're welcome. Everyone deserves a second chance.
Harper: But only one. (He tosses a Sparky can he's been drinking from at a trash bin, but misses. Trance smiles)
Trance: Or as many as they need.
(Harper, Trance, and Gerentex run down a corridor, pursued now by the casino guys and the Reaper. They come to a door, gunfire being exchanged behind them between the Reaper and the casino guys. Harper prepares to jack in and open it)
Gerentex: I don't understand. Why am I the only one who attracts bullets?
Trance: Oh, that's our High Guard ECM generators. They mess up smart bullets really bad.
Harper: Trance! Are you out of your freakin' mind?
Gerentex: I presume you mean that? (He gestures to the leather band around her arm she's holding up)
Trance: Yeah. We both have one.
Gerentex: How nice...for me. (to Harper) Gimme. (Harper blows him off with a "Pfft", but Gerentex aims the gun at him) Make my happy thought come true.
Harper: You dead. That's my happy thought.
Gerentex: You are the one vulnerable to weapons fire now.
(Dylan and Rommie consult in his quarters)
Rommie: So what do we offer the Perseids this time?
Trance: Wasn't that what you said about that stripper you met on Mendocino Drift? The one who had the elbow spikes and threatened to perforate you, stick a light in your ribcage and turn you into a planetarium?
Harper: She is not a stripper. Her name was Dusky and she was a professional dancer. Besides, Dusky was just an appetizer. 'Hello, my name is Kathleen' is an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Trance: Harper, you're supposed to be using Tundra Flowers to spread good will for the Commonwealth, not meet pretty girls.
Harper: Hey! I'm all for spreading good will. And if I'm very lucky, the good WILL commence any minute now.
Trance: You've invited her on board?
Harper (sarcastic): No. I chased her away with my gauss gun to avoid violating professional ethics. (A beep alerts them to someone coming on board) That would be Kathleen. (To the person entering) You ready to see some stars?
Gerentex: Why, thank you, Mr. Harper for such a kind offer.
Gerentex: Now why do I get the feeling that you were expecting someone else?
WARNING: Do Not Operate Heavy
Machinery or Navigate The Slipstream
While Under the Influence Of This Beverage.
Sparky - Cola (Label),
Brent Stait does not appear in this episode.
-This episode aired in Canada on April 14, 2001 on Global.
-This episode aired in the UK on August 27, 2001 on Sky One.
-This episode aired in the Australia on November 23, 2002 on Fox 8.
The name first name of the bounty hunter is Stalin. This is a reference to the former Russian leader Joseph Stalin.
Gerentex: There are two kinds of people in this universe, Mr. Harper. The kind with loaded guns, and the kind who open doors. YOU open the doors.
Gerentex: Aren't you...dead?
Trance: I got better.
This line was from the 1975 movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
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