Andromeda

Harper: Jeger wants to clock me. I don't wanna be a bulls-eye on your butt. Beka: Dammit Harper, you're gonna get yourself killed. And by the way, that's MY ship you're steering into oblivion, so get your skinny ass back to the hangar deck, NOW! Harper: Oh, now don't get all sentimental on me, boss.

Dylan: Good morning, Mr. Harper.
Harper: Morning. Morning. Morn-ING. Two little syllables so many different meanings.
Dylan: Yes, in this case it just means hello. I wanted to see your new project. It looks... interesting.
Harper: Yeah. She's a beauty, isn't she?
Beka: Breath taking. What is it?
Harper: It's an authentic recreation of a... uh, big surprise?
Dylan: Mm-hmm. And what's the status on the rest of the projects?
Harper: Projects?
Beka: Harper, this is Dylan's polite way of asking, 'What the hell's this mess?'
Harper: Ah! A mess to the uninformed eye.
Dylan: Ha, ha, ha. Then maybe you should enlighten us.
Harper: Enlighten you? The divine is good, don't do flash, and if you're nice to people, they probably won't be nice to you. Now run along kids, Daddy's working.
(Dylan grabs Harper and turns him to face him)
Dylan: I'm calling a time out.

(Harper walks around Machine Shop frantically singing: "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain" in different languages. Rommie, Dylan, Beka and Rev watch him on Command) Dylan: What's he doing? Rommie: I don't think he knows. Since last night he has started and abandoned dozens of projects and upgrades. Although I must say, the ones he's performed on moi are c'est magnifique. Dylan: You're speaking French now? Rommie: Oui. Per his request. Beka: Harper speaking in tongues. You gotta be kidding. Dylan: Can't say I recognize the tune. Rommie: It's an old Earth folk tune in, let's see. (listing the languages Harper's been singing in) Than, Perseid, Harulian, and that would be Vedran. Beka: We, uh...better go talk to him? Dylan: We better go talk to him.

Harper: Hey! What's up, Rommie? Romalon? Romalasky? Read Only Memory? Rommie: A simple Rommie will suffice. Are you alright, Harper? I'm detecting an elevation in your heart and breathing rate. Harper: Oh, yeah? Well I'm detecting a fritz in your central power relay and I can fix you. I can! I can fix everything on board. The ventilation system on Deck 19 could definitely use an upgrade. Phew! Could you? (hands her wires) Thanks. Rommie: Harper, slow down. Harper: Sorry, I can't. I'm a little, uh...wired. No, re-wired. No, cross-wired. Cross-eyed. I didn't get any sleep last night. I've been having these rancid...nightmares. Visions. Whatever you want to call'em. Anyway, I thought, 'Why dwell in hell, get busy!' Rommie: What are you building? Harper: Ah! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's...Ah, you tell me and we'll both know. In the meantime (speaks another language) Rommie: Irish Gaelic. Earth based in adaptive form. You're making seductive overtures to me in a dead language? Harper: Hey, it's not dead the way I speak it, baby. (again speaks a another language) Rommie: And French. Harper, what has gotten into you? (Harper speaks another language, for the third time) And now Perseid. Harper, I had no idea you were such a cunning linguist. Harper: Love speaks in all tongues, baby. Wait! That's it! You know what need? Some kind of nano-doohickey that can let a person understand any language they hear. No, no, no, no! Speak any language they hear. We'll start with old Irish from your language archives. We'll reconfigure it into an implanted auto-linguistic relay. Why not? All I have to do is downsize and upgrade some voice activation sensors so they can correlate with the proper pronunciation vibrato. And while I'm at it, no offense, but the pixelation in your holo-imagery matrix could use a little fine tuning. Yes! (speaks another language, for the fourth time) The doctor is in! (leaves Rommie alone in Machine Shop, confused)

Trance: I have never seen anything like it. Harper: I could say the same about you, Trance. Why don't we do you next? Beka: Knock it off, Harper. This is about you. Harper: Me? No. Why me? She's much more interesting. An enigma. Wrapped up in a riddle with a tail in the middle.

Andromeda: Funny, Tyr, I didn't know this was your battle station. Tyr: Whoever told you sarcasm was a desirable feature in a ship was sadly misinformed.