Andy Richter Controls the Universe

Byron: What kind of world is this, where a woman has to demean herself to study philosophy so she can ask questions like 'what kind of a world is this, where a woman has to deeman herself to'- Jessica: Byron, you're caught in one of those loop things again.

Jessica: Byron, you're a pimp. Byron: What? No, I'm not. I'm just helping these fine ladies with their finances, their clothes, and artistic issues. Jessica: I didn't say you weren't a good pimp.

Andy: (reading Wendy's story) This is awful. It's like reading a 600-year-old Penthouse.

Byron: You're a nurse? Amber: Why do you think I'm dressed like this? Byron: I assumed you were a stripper. Amber: Really? You think I could be?!

Andy: (on Wendy's story) It's like she wrote it in Microsoft Turd.

Andu: In this crazy Medieval world of ours, love is harder to find than a 40-year-old.