Andy Richter Controls the Universe

Mr. Pickering: I know why you really want to go to France. It's because of their lenient sexual laws, although in your case that just means that you can do more things to yourself. Andy: That is not why I want to go. I'm a writer. I've always wanted to visit the country: Camus, Sartre, Foucault. Mr. Pickering: What did you say to me?!

Andy: [Jessica and Wendy] are my friends. Mr Pickering: Your friends? That's a colorful euphemism for the female bosom. Andy: Well, if they didn't want me to look, they shouldn't have talked about feelings.

Byron: One thing the French just love is when you mock their language... Andy: (in thought) That's it.... no one insults the way I insult the French!