Angel

Cordelia: I'm gonna pack a bag. Wesley: Cordelia, please. Just a few things. We're not going on safari.

Wesley: This isn't right. Cordelia: When a whacked out Slayer tries to kill your boss, it's very wrong.

Cordelia: Oh, and we should pick up the tab for lunch. Nothing says success less than splitting the bill. Angel: I didn't bring any money with me. Cordelia: Okay, Elvis, when you're a big star, you can get away without carrying cash.

Lindsey: To make a long story less long, I think for services rendered, we can get you off. Faith: You don't know how many men have promised me that.

Lilah: I'll make the contact. Lee: I don't think so. It's my deal; I'll make the contact. Lilah: Let me think about it... No. Lee: Why not? Lilah: It's your people skills. You don't have any. Lee: You bitch. Lilah: See.

Cordelia: (about Marquez) I knew it when you brought him in last night. Someone with that much body art is gonna have a different definition of civic duty. Wesley: After we saved his life? Cordelia: When was the last time you wrote a thank you card?

Angelus: Can I take off this blindfold yet? Darla: No. Angelus: Can I take off something else?

Faith: (torturing Wesley) I wanna hear you scream. Wesley: You never will.

Cordelia: Phantom Dennis, let us in. It's alright. It's only Wesley. Wesley: Dennis your ghost, I presume? Cordelia: Yes. He's jealous. (to Dennis) Don't worry, hell will freeze over before I have sex with him. Wesley: Thank goodness for small favors.

Faith: (throws herself against Angel screaming) I'm evil! I'm bad! I'm evil! Do you hear me? I'm bad! Angel, I'm bad! I'm bad. Do you hear me? I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm bad. Please. Angel, please, just do it. Angel please, just do it. Just do it. Just kill me. Just kill me.

Faith: All these little cuts and bruises just bring out the mother in me. (to fainting Wes) Come on. Now, now, don't poop out on me, dammit! Otherwise this is all just gonna be over too fast. You'll be dead, and I'll be... bored. (slight British accent) Come on, Wesley! Where's that stiff upper lip? (back to normal accent) Now, we've only done one of the five basic torture groups. We've done blunt - but that still leaves sharp, cold, hot and loud. Have a preference? Well, that's great! It's always better with audience participation. (takes a gag out of his mouth) May I take your order please? Wesley: I was your Watcher, Faith - I know the real you. And even if you kill me, there is just one thing I want you to remember. Faith: What's that, love? Wesley: You are a piece of shi- Faith: (shoves the gag back in his mouth) You should talk, huh? I guess I'll just have to try a little harder. We'll switch to sharp for a while.

Wesley: She's not a demon, Angel. She's a sick, sick girl. If there's even a chance she can be reasoned with - Angel: There was. Last year, I had a shot at saving her. I was pulling her back from the brink when some British guy kidnapped her and made damn sure she'd never trust another living soul. Cordelia: Angel, it's not Wesley's fault that some British guy ruined your - Oh, wait. (to Wesley) That was you. (to Angel) Go on.

(talking about Angel) Cordy: So, are you happy with the way things turned out? You can always tell when he's happy. His scowl is slightly less scowly.

Faith: (to Wesley) Did you ever wonder if things would've been different, if we'd never met. What if you had Buffy - and Giles had been my Watcher? Think we'd still be here right now? Or would Giles be sittin' in that chair? Or is it just like fate. You know, there is no choice. You were gonna be here no matter what. You think about that stuff? Fate and destiny? I don't. Not that any of this is your own fault. Since this may be the last chance we have to unload on each other, I feel it's kind of my duty to tell you that if you'd been a better Watcher, I might've been a more positive role model! Face it, Wesley, you really were a jerk. Always walking around like you had some great big stake rammed up your English Channel.

Lindsey: I hate failure when there's no one else to blame it on.