Angel

Season 3 Episode 5

Fredless

1
Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Oct 22, 2001 on The WB
SUBMIT REVIEW

Episode Fan Reviews (12)

8.6
out of 10
Average
365 votes
  • Have you met the Burkles?

    7.0
    FREDLESS



    The Good;

    Wonderful acting by AA when Fred's finally reunited with her parents. CC and Wes' Buffy/Angel show is FANTASTIC! A good ep all around. The scene where Fred calms herself at the bus station by reciting Pi and the crazy looking homeless guy moves away from HER is the funniest scene in all of Angel and may be my favourite Angel scene ever.



    The Bad;

    Bit of a reach that they just let the bugs go?



    Best line:

    Fred; (when reunited with her parents) "I didn't mean to get so lost, I'm sorry I got so lost" (tears me up every time)



    Apocalypses: 5



    Angel Cliches

    Inverting the Hollywood cliche;

    Bugs ain't evil and neither really is the demon Angel kills, just driven mad by the eggs in it's skull. We think Fred's parents are evil but they're not. They're also able to accept AI's rather odd lifestyle



    In disguise; 8



    DB get's his shirt off;

    9,



    Cheap Angel; 7



    Fang Gang in bondage:

    Cordy: 5

    Angel: 11

    Wes: 6

    Gunn; 3

    Lorne; 2



    Fang gang knocked out:

    Cordy: 11

    Angel: 14

    Wes: 5

    Doyle; 1

    Gunn; 1

    Lorne; 2



    Kills: chalk up one demon bug for Fred's mum and one demon for Angel

    Cordy: 5 vamps, 3 demons

    Angel; 28 vamps, 40 and 1/2 demons, 3 humans

    Doyle; 1 vamp

    Wes; 7 demons+1 vamp

    Kate; 3 vamps

    Faith; 16 vamps, 6 demons, 3 humans.

    Gunn; 8 vamps+ 6 demons.

    Fang Gang go evil:

    Cordy: 2

    Angel: 2



    Alternate Fang Gang:

    Cordy: 2

    Angel: 7



    Characters killed:

    43



    Recurring characters killed;

    7;



    Total number of Angel Investigations:

    5, Angel, Cordy, Wes, Gunn and Fred



    Angel Investigations shot:

    Angel: 11

    Wes; 1



    Packing heat;

    Wes; 3

    Doyle; 1

    Angel; 1

    Gunn; 1



    Notches on Fang Gang bedpost:

    Cordy: 3 ?+Wilson/Hacksaw Beast+Phantom Dennis

    Angel: 5; Buffy, Darla and The Transcending Furies

    Wes; 2; Virginia and the bleached blonde



    Kinky dinky:

    Fred's mum asks if Fred is making 'movies', LA's porn industry probably bigger than it's tourism, film and music combined. Check out CCs fishnets. She seems to revel in playing nurse for the gang and later tells Angel she could 'soothe his ass off'.



    Captain Subtext;

    Lorne wears eyeliner which Fred's dad says men from Texas tend not to do (never been to a 'Gay Rodeo'?).



    Know the face, different character; 3



    Parking garages;

    5,



    Buffy characters on Angel; 16

    Wetherby, Collins and Smith. Angel, Cordy, Oz, Spike, Buffy, Wes, Faith, Darla, Dru, The Master, Anne, Willow and Harmony



    Questions and observations;

    A nice ep with Fred now part of the gang more than ever. AI are in awe of the PI the Burkle's hire who can find Fred with only a letter to go on. The Alien films are referred to with JW of course writing part 4. Fred's dad refers to Spiro Agnew who was Nixon's vice president (he was caught up in a corruption scandal before Watergate which is why Gerald Ford, the speaker of the house becomes President following Tricky Dickie's resignation). Famously his name is an anagram of 'grow a penis'. Angel likes ice cream, weird I thought he couldn't enjoy normal food. Lorne smokes and is still bitter about what Gunn's friends did to his bar. Fred considers going to Vegas for a new job, well one day she will. Angel likes golf and apparently watched the Bob Hope Desert Classic which was presumably played in Vegas. In the daytime? Wes' talk of his own parents puts Lineage into perspective.

    Marks out of 10; 7/10 a funny and touching romp before we get down to the more serious stuff of season 3

  • Fredless

    9.0
    Fredless was a really great episode focusing on Fred. I thought it was a great concept to have her parents arrive looking for her. I enjoyed watching this episode as we learned more about Fred, and the gang in relation to her. The episode was filled with classic humor, action, mystery and drama. Fred realizes where she belongs and is welcomed to stay at Angel Investigations, and I am happy to know we get to see more of her. The writers are very creative with how they entwine stories together. The directors have a great vision, while the actors play their parts perfectly. I can't wait to watch what happens next!!!!!
  • Fred's parents arrive in L.A.

    8.9
    Fredless is a nice, touching episode with some hilarious moments and a heartbreaking performance by the incredible Amy Acker. It finished off the Crazy-Fred subplot and lets her real character come through.

    The demon-crystal storyline was a bit dull but it was necessary to the plot so Fred could stay in L.A. I think the bug demons looked actually very good but I don't who was working the camera when they were on screen, as they seemed to stutter and freeze alot, which is quite irritating. Thankfully, it takes a small role in the episode and isn't focused on, leaving more time for the excellent character-based plot going on.

    Fred was more likeable in this episode than she's ever been and I'm so glad she stayed in L.A. as she evolves into an amazing character, eventually becoming the heart of the group after Cordelia falls into a coma and then proceeds to become Illyria. Her breakdown was heart-wrenching and in some crazy way, it made sense. It made her experience in Pylea seem more real and you truly felt for her. Amy Acker was simply outstanding in this scene and she can do emotional scenes so well and makes the character of Fred more loveable. It's not easy to cry on cue just like that but she managed it excellently and is up there with the top actresses in the 'verse. I also liked the nice scene at the end where she paints over her picture of Angel saving her, finally putting her Pylea experience behind her and moving on, and realizing she has a place on the time- she's smart but a different kind of smart from Wesley.

    Roger and Trish Burkle are good characters and the only parents to be seen more than once in the entire verse (excluding Joyce Summers of course). At the start of the episode, I was creeped out by them, as the storyline made it seem like they were abusive, due to Fred's fear of them. After her breakdown however, I felt they grounded the characters and fitted in perfectly with the group. This episode reminds me a lot of the scenes in "The Girl In Question" where Illyria masquerades as Fred to stop them finding out that Fred is dead.

    I like that the gang actually did miss Fred when she left as I was wondering how'd they feel without her but as shown, they did miss her when she'd gone. This episode subtly hints at Wesley's feelings for Fred when he excitedly votes her to stay. The episode also has some nice Cordy/Angel moments as well, showing their growing attraction to one another.

    Finally, the Wesley/Cordy scene where they pretend to be Buffy and Angel was one of the funniest moments of the series. It seriously brightened this episode up even more.

    Fredless is a heartwarming episode that focuses on the least explored member of the group and finally finished the Crazy-Fred arc.
  • Dr. Suess' Frighten Fred and Eggs In Your Head

    6.9
    Fredless-Fred's parents make a surprise visit to Angel Investigations. However, rather than being happy to see them Fred seems terrified and flees the scene. Not trusting Mr. and Mrs. Burkle, the gang prepares to protect Fred from them---providing she can be found. Meanwhile, a strange, insectile demon stalks the crew.

    A nice filler with a weak plot but a heartbreaking performance from the Fang Gang's newest member, Fred. Amy Acker really sets her place on this show and show some of her impressive acting skills. You are completely convinced about Fred's fear of seeing her parents and revelation why she's running is so touching. Fred's parents make for an interesting characters, especially when Fred's mom runs over that big bug demon. Speacking of the bug demons, they were disgusting looking, too bad that plot went stale and some scenes dragged. All and All, a decent episode with a stand out performance from Amy Acker who is becoming a fine new cast member.
  • Fred decides to stay in LA, and I'm actually glad to hear it. Until this episode, I really wished they had left her in Pylea.

    8.7
    Cordelia finally explains to Fred that Angel can't be anything more than friends with her. I didn't much expect to like this episode, thinking it was going to be cliche as Fred's parents come for her, and we are led to believe they are evil or something is wrong. However, I liked that her parents were so loving and concerned about her. She definitely undergoes a transistion as she comes to terms with what happened in Pylea and works to put it behind her. Going forward she's a much more interesting and stronger character. Until "Fredless" I really wished they had left her in Pylea.

    Favorite Scene: This episode has the clas-sic scene where Cordelia and Wesley act out Angel's reunion with the now resurrected Buffy, possibly one of the funniest scenes in the entire 5 seasons of Angel.


    Cordelia (as Buffy): "Oh - Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you a vampire - and it would be *impossible* for us to *be* together - *but!*
    Wesley (as Angel): "But my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!"
    Cordelia : "Yes, Angel?"
    Wesley : "Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to *brood*"
    Cordelia : "And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends."
    Wesley grabs a hold of Cordy's wrist.
    Cordelia : "Oh!"
    Wesley : "Or possibly more."
    Cordelia gasps: "Gasp! No! We mustn't."
    Wesley pulls Cordy close.
    Wesley : "Kiss me."
    Cordelia : "Bite me!"
    Wesley bends Cordy back over his arm and pretends to sink his fangs into her neck.
    Angel (off screen): "How about you both bite me."
  • 7.0
    THE GOOD: The character development in this episode is nice. This is the 2nd time I've seen this episode, and like a lot of people, the 1st time you expect Fred to be avoiding her parents because they're some kind of demon or something. In truth, her parents "existing" means that the hell she went through in Pylea really did happen. When she gains her confidence and realizes that she has a place in Angel invesitgations, the scene of her whitewashing her and Angel on a horse is a beautiful display of conquering one's demons. THE BAD : Angel was at it's best when it was Wesley, Cordelia and Angel. When Fred was breaking down everyone's roles, you got to see that. Cordy's the heart, Wesley's the brain, and Angel is the power. Gunn is just extra muscle, and the show even acknowledges that. He's so desperate to create a real role for hismelf that he gets the legal "upgrade" in season 5. Fred is the science geek. Great, except demonology is hardly science. Only if the show has some lame-o scientific monster (giant bugs?! come on...) brought in is she actually of any use. The only thing Fred was ever good for was becoming Illyria.
  • Fred stays!

    9.5
    2 good things happen in this episode: Angel comes home from his meeting with Buffy, who is alive again (YAY!) We also get to meet Freds parents and learn why she isnt so happy to see them again. I must admit, I was one of the people who thought there surely must be something wrong with Roger and Trish Burkle. I thought there could have been some abuse involved or some dark family secret. It was so sad and sweet when we find out the real reason Fred didnt want to see them: She didnt want to face the truth that she really had been in Pylea for 5 years. What made the ep even better was when she decided she belonged in L.A. with Angel and the gang! Gotta love Fred!
  • Fred finds her place.

    8.0
    I really loved seeing Fred find her place, as she had already become one of my favorite new characters. She was outside the group at the start of the series and her role in Angel Investigations wasn't quite clear. This episode really showed that her science and intellegence really did fit with the group. She really did find her place as the little sister of the group, helping everyone is every way she could and befriending each and everyone in her own specidic way.
  • fred and her parents

    7.5
    i never liked fred a lot because pylea was terrible but this episode which is about her is pretty good but i think the plot really sucked. first they make us think her parents are evil but they are not.

    the thing about the episode is the beginning is classic when wesley and cordelia do the bangle relationship it was funny! i also loved fred's fairy tale story. good episode
  • Lots of twists and character development.

    9.3
    This episode is based about the new series regular Fred played brilliantly by the actress Amy Acker. Fred's character really develops in this episode as it shows her trying to hide from her parents as she isn't ready to cope with life out side of Pylea.

    The twist in this episode was thinking that Fred's parents weren't human and they were trying to catch Fred but in fact the reason they were actually Fred's parents and the reason why she was running from them was because she wasn't ready to talk to them about her being stuck in another dimension.

    I found this episode had lots of feelings behind it and shows the growth of Fred and how she is finding herself in the world and with Angel and friends.

    This episode had a touching end when Fred painted her walls with a shot of her smiling as she painted over the drawing of her and Angel on the horse, when she was rescued from Pylea. This shows her accepting the last few years of her life as a slave and that the is ready to start her life nice and move on.
  • Fred rocks

    9.3
    I consider this season to be the rising season of the series (not the best, but finally getting to a point with more season long arcs).

    Fred is my favorite character on Angel, and every episode that is Fred-Centric is great. It was nice how the writers used the parents to push the "crazies" out of Fred.

    Something that happens on Angel, that doesn't happen on Buffy, is that the characters deal with their issues (instead of just fighting a bad guy and that makes everything better). Here, Fred used more than just the battle to leave her funk, but she had a great story to do it with (running from her parents make Pylia real). Once she can accept the fact that it was all real, she can drop the crazies and show her true self.
  • More Frend that we ever had. It was perfect, full of emotion and great acting and hilarious moments. the only thing that brings it a little down was the writers making us think that her parents were evil. they exagerated a little.

    9.7
    Fredless

    This is such a beautiful episode. Fred was starting to become a great character but she gets to be one here. the most pretty of this episode was the story on the wall about being saved. the only downside is that Lorne acted as if her parents where evil. why did he do that? anyway. it was a great episode for Fred to envolve and it had some hilarious parts as well.

    cut to Wes whining about Cordy putting the weapons in the wrong place. then Fred asks what time it is and Cordy says she just asked her. Fred thinks if she knows what the time is that it won't most so fast. then she asks if Angel is gonna get back with Buffy and they say not a chance and Cordy and Wes do like their Buffy and Angel and then comes Angel back and he's watching. he isn't gonna tell them and takes Fred wit him. cut to Angel and Fred walking in the sewers and they find a nest of a demon and Fred goes away cause it's dangerous and then a demon attacks Angel.

    the credits start

    cut to the gang. Gunn wants Cordy to have a vision but she bumps into something Fred made. they don't know what it is then suddenly two folks are there and they take them to their office and say that their daughter is missing. her name is Winifred Burkle. cut to Fred coming in and she sees her parents and runs to her room. cut back. the parents say that they tracked her from an envelope that she send to them. then comes Angel with the head of the demon and Cordy says that they are Fred's very normal parents. and that Angel makes monster movies.

    cut to Fred going in her room and try to clean up the wall. cut back to the office. and Angel is embarrassing himself again and throws away the prop. then he says that he send Fred home and she's probably in her room now. cut to them in her room. they see that Fred was there but now gone. they think that Fred is running for something and probably her parents. cut to Fred running away. cut back to the office. the gang suspect the parents to be bad so they are splitting up. Angel is going to find her himself while the others go to another place.

    cut to Fred going to Lorne's bar. it's still the same and she is all panicked he tells her that she should run even furder cause she is in a bad place. cut to the library. they search for her but she wasn't there either. so then Cordy says that her paents are very weird and they think Fred went to a plce to guidance. cut to Angel in the sewers and Cordy calls him and he goes too. but there is something in the sewer. cut to the bar. they are there but Lorne is still pissed off and Gunn waits outside. Angel takes Lorne to talk to him and Lorne says that nobody ever cares about him. but Angel isn't falling for it and then Lorne says where. but it's gonna get messy.

    cut to Fred in the train station. the gang comes and she sees her parents and wants to run away but can't. she says that they aren't real and that she was all alone and they weren't there and they did terrible things to her. and her mom says that it doesn't matter what they did to her cause they are allright now and Fred cries and says that it was just a story but if they are really there then it happened. then she calms down and hugs her parents when suddenly a big insect falls down to attack them. they run away and it hits Angel out. it tries to kill them and it's stronger than Angel but then Fred's mom crashes into the demon and kills it.

    cut to the office, Cordy is fixing up everyone. and Fred says that Angel is the champion and Wes the brains and Gunn the muscle and Cordy the heart but she...doesn't know where she fit in. they continue talking and then Fred says she wants to go home. they are happy that she's gonna go with her. cut to later. Angel in Fred's room. he asks if she can remember what's on the walls and she says its a story. A girl lived in a cave and couldn't come out when a handsome man saved her and took her to his castle where she build another cave when he went away. but he can't save her again.

    cut to the guys and Cordy tells Fred's mom that monsters are real. then comes Fred and she isn't gonna say fancy words just hugs them all goodbye and that he is taking her t-shirt with guts with them and then leave. cut to the parents going home with Fred. then Fred grabs her shirt and sees something weird and asks to turn the car around. cut back to the office and they talk about Fred and Cordy says that she missed the parents because they were parents and that she is a little jealous cause things are never normal around here.

    Cordy says she is going home cause she doesn't want to mope and then sees the giant bugg with a lot more and they think they're gonna die. they fight and then comes Fred and with her machine she cuts a head in two where eggs come out and the bug takes the eggs with it and then leaves. Fred then says that this is her path and that she can’t pretend to be normal but she just isn't anymore. this is her life now. her parents are just gonna stay for a couple of days more. cut to later. they are painting the room. and Fred wants to finish her story and pains over a part where she is on a horse with Angel

    Black Out
    ----------
    Best episode quotes:

    Wesley: You wouldn't dare. - You were just going to toss in a Prothgarian broadsword with a third-century ceremonial Sancteus dagger?
    Cordelia: Hmm. Let's see. Long, metal, pointy. - Yup.
    Wesley: Cordy! The purpose of an inventory...
    Gunn: Yes, give us that purpose of an inventory speech - again.
    Wesley: This wasn't my idea.
    Cordelia: No. Angel - keeps complaining that the weapons cabinet is all different. But, Wesley, who's the boss around here? You - or the guy with the pancreas dagger.
    Fred: What time is it?
    Cordelia: Six twenty four, and for those of you who are playing the home game: that's exactly three minutes from the last time you asked.
    Fred: I'm sorry. I just - I have this theory that the more you are aware of time the more slowly it moves, which could make light speed travel possible, but only if you were to concentrate really...He'll be back when he's back.
    Fred: So - now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
    Wesley: Well - Fred - that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say - no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also 'nuh-uh.'
    Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, because he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sort of thing, why wouldn't it work?
    Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred. Oh - Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you a vampire - and it would be impossible for us to be together - but!
    Wesley: But! My gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!
    Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
    Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
    Cordelia: And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends. Oh!
    Wesley: Or possibly more.
    Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't.
    Wesley: Kiss me.
    Cordelia: Bite me!
    Angel: How about you both bite me.
    Fred: You're back!
    Gunn: How'd it go?
    Angel: I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest - I really don't wanna talk about it.
    Cordelia: But... ah, Angel - we're your friends. and, and it-it's not healthy to repress stuff like this. You-you need to share your - pain, express those feelings of grief and longing or... The curiosity is gonna kill me!
    Angel: Oh, no. Wouldn't want that.
    Fred: Personally, I don't care at all what happened.
    Cordelia: Shut up, Fred.
    Angel: Actually, you know what I need right now? - Ice cream. You wanna get some ice cream?
    Fred: I like Ice cream!
    Cordelia: Now we'll never, ever know.
    Angel: That's right.

    Fred: This has been the best night ever! First there's you taking me to ice cream, then there is the ice cream, then that monster jumps out of the freezer and you're all brave and "Fred, watch out!", and then we get to chase it down into the sewers, which are just so bleak and oppressive and - homey. And, and I could build a condo down here.
    Angel: I'm glad you're having fun.
    Fred: You think maybe the monster just wanted a sugar cone?
    Angel: I doubt it. Durslar beasts don't usually come above ground like that. They tend to stick to the sewers.
    Fred: Lucky stiffs. They get to lead lives of mysterious sewage while I'm just plain ol' boring ol' Fred.
    Angel: Boring? That's not a word I'd use for you.
    Fred: Fine. Nutty-ol'-goonie-bird-up-in her-room-doin'-nothin'-but-moochin'-off-Angel Fred. I swear I don't know how you all put up with me. I practically need flashcards to understand my … pretty crystals. Oh, look. They're everywhere. It wasn't me.
    Angel: Oh, no, no, no. We must be near the Durslar's lair. Why don't you head back on to the hotel. I can take it from here.
    Fred: But shouldn't we call Wesley first and maybe, you know, the army?
    Angel: Nah. Durslar beasts are pretty Faulknerian. Lotta sound, no fury. Think you can find your way back okay?
    Fred: I think so. 128 meters back, eastward fork, 207 meters to the southward fork, hang a right, 12 meters in... I'm just being a big nerd again, aren't I? I'm gonna go now.

    Wesley: You know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon - of course the poodle's owners weren't very happy.
    Gunn: Would you hurry up and get a vision already?
    Cordelia: Ah, gee, Gunn, much as I would love to endure another soul-splittingly agonizing psychic invasion for your benef-ow! Ow! Ow!
    Gunn: Yes! Yes!
    Cordelia: No! Ow, Fred! Ouch. I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys lying around!
    Gunn: Ooh! Pretty wicked looking toy!
    Wesley: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
    Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her you never know.

    Angel: Wait til you guys hear what happened at Haagen Dazs! Ordinarily these things don't put up much of a fight, but this one? Hoo! I think I'm gonna have it…mounted. - Hello.
    Cordelia: Angel. you're -- alone. And - and you brought ... a prop! From your movie! This is Angel. - Angel - makes - monster movies. - Angel, these are Fred's very normal parents.
    Angel: Ah. - Fred has parents. Well it sure is - nice to meet you both.
    Roger: Ah. Son, you-your prop is dripping.
    Angel: Oh, yeah. This - fake. You know, a little glue, paper machee…possibly some lead. So, Fred's parents - we've heard so - much... Well, uhm, sure is nice to meet you folks.

    Gunn: They said she sent them a letter. Can you picture Fred sneaking off to send a letter?
    Cordelia: Pfft! Sneaking off, right. Fred can barely tie her shoes without Mr. 'oh, you're my big, fat hero!' around.
    Angel: You think I'm fat?
    Wesley: This could be a ruse, to trick us into letting them get close to her. Making it seem as though she'd initiated contact.
    Angel: On the other hand if the letter is real and she told them not to look for her, there's got to be a reason for that.
    Cordelia: Fred never talks about her family.
    Angel: So, where do we start? Where would Fred go?
    Gunn: We could hit all the local taco stands. Joke! - Kind of.
    Angel: Come on, guys, think! What do we know about Fred?
    Gunn: Well, I knew about the tacos.

    Angel: Well, I'm gonna check out some of my, ah, industry contacts. So it'll just be the five of you.
    Trish: Industry contacts? Why would... - Fred's not - 'making movies,' is she?
    Angel: Movies? Oh, you mean... No! No, no, of course not. It's just some of these contacts they-they know things sometimes. They're, ah, underground.

    Fred: Oh, no. Was there another massacre?
    Lorne: Oh, no. No. Just the one. But it turns out massacres are a lot like sitting through Godfather three: once is enough.

    Lorne: Well, isn't this a lovely surprise.
    Cordelia: He's surprised. I didn't think he owned terry cloth.
    Lorne: Hmm. Such a small entourage tonight. Hey, Gunn, why didn't you bring your other friends? 'cause they make a party.
    Gunn: Maybe I should wait outside.
    Lorne: You know, I'm - I'm not entirely uncomfortable with that suggestion.
    Trish: What kind of a place is this?
    Lorne: Oh, do you like it? I was kinda going for a Dresden after the bombing sort of feel.
    Roger: Ah, is this one of your big 'industry contacts?' Some guy in a bathrobe, wearing makeup and fake horns?
    Lorne: They're not fake! And it's - only a little eyeliner.
    Wes: Lorne, I'd like you to meet Fred's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Burkle. They're here visiting - from the country.
    Roger: Yeah. You have to forgive us hicks. Down in Texas we don't get a lot of guys who wear eyeliner - not for long anyway.
    Cordelia: He's just teasing you. He probably just got back from a shoot. He and Angel do monster movies together! Right, Lorne?!
    Lorne: Ah... No.

    Angel: Look, Lorne, I'm sorry about the bar, but right now Fred is missing and we need your help.
    Lorne: Oh, really? Yeah, well, I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time you waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart. And that heart is broken! I mean, why is it no one ever cares about my destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about me, me, me. Well, what about my me? My me's important.
    Angel: You know where she is, don't you?
    Lorne: A-and another thing, how... how do they get the pimentos in the olives, huh? There's a mystery for you. You know, do they stuff each one by hand, 'cause that seems a little time consuming, or do you think they have a - little - pimento - stuffing - machine ...Fred doesn't want to see her parents. She has reason for that. I mean, why force a showdown if you don't have to?
    Angel: Because it won't be over. They found her once, they'll do it again. At least this time we can be there to protect her. Please. - Tell me where Fred is. - I know you're not a slot machine.
    Lorne: Vending machine, you big palooka. Alright, but play this one delicately, bro. Because it's gonna get messy.

    Fred: I can do this. Sure I can. I can just get right up on that bus and be a whole new person - like origami - or plastic. Move some place I've never been with no money, no friends, no job. Easy as pie. 3.14 159265...Oh, hey, I was just calculating pi - to relax. I'm not dangerous. I could go to Vegas. Learn to play Black Jack. Memorize four hundred fifty two consecutive digits of pi a few hundred measly cards are easy. Nine, ten, Jack. Queen, King. No!
    Trish: Fred?
    Fred: No, you're not here! Go away!
    Trish: Fred, honey, it's us!
    Fred: No. You're not them. You can't be them, because they don't know.
    Roger: Sweetie, it's mom and dad.
    Fred: Shh! Stop saying that. You can't be!
    Trish: Honey, don't you remember us?
    Fred: I was - I was five years and so lost and, and at night I would... I was all by myself and you weren't there!
    Roger: Fred, I don't understand.
    Fred: I got lost. I got lost, and they did terrible things to me, but, but it was just a storybook. It was just a story with monsters, not real. Not in the world but - but if you're here and you see me then - then it's real! And it did happen. If you see what they made of me... I - I didn't mean to get so lost!
    Trish: Oh, honey, it doesn't matter what they did to you.
    Fred: Mommy.
    Trish: Oh, we're gonna make it all right.
    Fred: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I got so lost.
    Roger: It don't matter. You're our little girl.
    Fred: I missed you so much. I didn't mean to...
    Trish: Shh...
    Roger: Everything's okay now. You'll see. You're safe now.

    Trish: I almost hate to ask, but - you do a lot of bandaging in your line of work?
    Cordelia: Mmm. Occupational hazard. I mean, sure there is the occasional demon who tries to kill us with pillows, but, sadly, those cases are few and far between.
    Roger: How about this guy? Was he a demon?
    Cordelia: I think Angel called it a Durslar beast. He and Fred tracked it down after it attacked them when they went out for ice cream.
    Roger: You mean you know how to track these things, Fred?
    Fred: No. Mostly I was just there for the ice cream.
    Trish: I wish he hadn't brought that thing out again. It gives me the willies.
    Roger: Oh, don't be silly Trish. It's just a severed head.
    Gunn: I got it. The lady makes bug soup with a ten ton bus, but show her a paper-mache head, she gets the willies. Ha. Women.
    Angel: Uh, Gunn, you do know it's not paper-mache?
    Gunn: We still got that bleach in the bathroom?
    Angel: I got to say this is not how I pictured this turning out.
    Wesley: They look happy, don't they?
    Cordelia: Voila! That's French for 'I think we stopped the bleeding.'
    Fred: Thanks Cordelia.
    Cordelia: Next up: multiple stab wounds. Angel!
    Angel: Uh, it's my turn. Oh, yay!
    Cordelia: What a dork.
    Wesley: How does it feel, Fred?
    Fred: Like my heart's been put in one of those orange juice squeezers... Oh. Kind of like a giant bug tried to rip my arm off and Angel saved me.
    Trish: He seems to do that a lot, doesn't he?
    Fred: It's what he does. Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, Gunn's the muscle and Cordy's the heart, and I'm...
    Roger: And to think, we were wondering when to call the cops on a bunch of superheroes!
    Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
    Gunn: More like a bloodsucking fiend.
    Roger: Frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cows blood, or those froofy, little, imported beers. You saved my little girl.
    Angel: Well, I wouldn't 've had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.
    Roger: Well, I tell ya, I hadn't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63...
    Angel: Bob Hope Dessert Classic. Alright!
    Fred: I wanna go home. I'm - I'm just not cut out for this. I mean, if Angel hadn't gotten me out of the way, you'd all be laughing in the morgue right now. - Okay, maybe not laughing, but - the point is, I think I should go home where it's quiet and safe and - monsters don't eat your family. - You're not - disappointed in me, are you?
    Trish: Oh, Fred. Never! Oh, it's gonna be so good to have you home!

    Fred: Oh, Angel. Hi. I invite you in.
    Angel: Thanks, but you only have to do that the first time. Once I'm invited...
    Fred: I know. I just figured since I'm going home now I'm not gonna be inviting you in anywhere. - Unless, of course, you come to Texas.
    Angel: Or if you build that condo in the sewer. So how you doing?"
    Fred: Oh, ah - fizzy. - Kinda weird and... fizzy. But excited. - And a little sad. - Thankful. Sorta cautiously happy. Relieved and worried at the same time. Slightly nauseous while still bein', hopeful?
    Angel: And that about covers it. Are you gonna remember everything that's up there?
    Fred: Well, sure. It's a story. Once upon a time - there was a girl who lived all alone in a horrible cave - so far from home it made her chest hurt. - And every day in that horrible cave, the girl tried to figure out a way to escape. - None of her plans ever succeeded, of course, - and she'd almost given up hopin' - when one day, just like in a fairy tale - a handsome man rode up on a horse and saved her, - and took her back to his castle. - - Now you'd think that was the end, wouldn't cha? Dumb old fairy tales and their happily ever afters. But see, the minute they got back to the castle, - the handsome man went away again. - And even though she didn't mean to, - didn't want to - high up in that castle the girl just built herself another cave. Hoping he would save her again. But you can't save me this time. - Can you?"

    Cordelia: In a really weird way, you know who I miss?
    Wesley: Fred.
    Cordelia: Actually I was gonna say her parents. - Is that wrong.
    Angel: I don't think so. They were very - nice.
    Cordelia: Nice? - They weren't just nice, Angel. They were...
    Gunn: Parents.
    Wesley: They loved her. - Supported her. - Didn't grind her down into a - tiny self-conscious nub with their constant berating. Their never ending tirade of debasement, and scorn and...
    Cordelia: At least now Fred's got a shot at a normal life. Not that I don't love you guys, and LA, and my work, but - things are just never normal around here. You know?
    Wesley: She was so smart.
    Angel: I'm gonna miss her. She was just this nice, quiet kind of crazy. - I found that - soothing.
    Cordelia: And what? I'm not soothing? I can be soothing. I could soothe your ass off, pal.
    Gunn: Plus, she was pretty handy with a five iron.
    Cordelia: Right before she almost got killed. Personally, I'm glad she's gone. It's gonna be a load off not having to worry about crazy taco lady anymore.
    Angel: She'll come back to visit.
    Cordelia: Do you really think she'll come back and visit? Well, that's it. I'm not gonna sit around here and mope like you - bunch - of - mopers. I'm gonna go home Eat some comfort food. Have a good cry. Crawl under my big, fluffy... giant bug!
    Gunn: We hit that thing with a bus. You're telling me a bus won't kill it?
    Angel: I don't think it's the same one.
    Cordelia: We are so immensely dead.

    Angel: Fred, how did you...
    Fred: The crystals. The ones we saw in the sewer? They were on the Durslar head , too. And at first I thought they came from the Durslar, but then I saw this. - Daddy? Those crystals are just dried up bug goop. It must have laid its eggs in the Durslar's head, which would explain the Durslar coming up out of the sewer, 'cause, I mean, wouldn't you be a little crazy if you had eggs in your head? I know I would. Anyway, that'd be all fine and Darwinian, except Angel killed the Durslar and brought the head back here, so the Bug had to track him down to get its babies back.
    Wesley: And at the bus station, when Trish ran over the mother...
    Fred: Or father. I think it might be a hive species gender neutral, but I'd have to do some research to back that up.
    Wesley: The whole hive showed up in order to reclaim its offspring. Brilliant deduction, Fred!
    Gunn: Not to mention, that little axe gadget is tight.
    Fred: That was just a random thought I had. What if you had to do battle with your arms cut off? Sure, you'd hemorrhage to death pretty quick, but at least you could take your enemy with you!
    Angel: Nice going, Fred.
    Fred: Aw, it was nothing. Just a stunning revelation of my true path in life, that's all.
    Roger: Come again, honey?
    Fred: Look - I could go home with you and pretend the last five years didn't happen. - I could even pretend to have a normal life. - But the truth of it is... Well, I'm not normal anymore. I guess what I'm getting at is... - I-I missed you both so bad. But - I belong here. Un-unless I don't. Which if- if you all don't wanna put up with me, I completely understand...
    Wesley: Lets put it to a vote, shall we? All in favor say aye. Aye. Motion passed. Good. You're staying.
    Fred: Mamma. - Daddy. This is my life now.
    Trish: We were kinda hoping you wouldn't figure that out.
    Roger: Of course we'd have to sick around for another couple of weeks.
    Fred: Daddy!
    Roger: Days. You know, just to catch up and get reacquainted, and to make sure that you are positive about your decision.
    Fred: Oh, I think I know where I'll end up.

    ----------
    Story: 10
    Acting: 10
    Writing: 9
    Picture: 10
    Gripping: 10
    My Rank: 9
    ----------
    Total: 9.7
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