Angel

Spike: Never a fetching mad scientist about when you need one.

Spike: Oh no. Haunted lift. Take a slice more to wet my knickers.

Fred: How fast can I get 'em? Wesley: Half of these are antiquities of the rarest order. If I exploit every connection I've made over the last month as the new head of research and intelligence... 20 minutes.

Eve: If there's anything Wolfram & Hart excels at, it's keeping their unmentionables unmentioned.

Pavayne:No! Defilers! I'll cut you into nothing! I'll feast on your brains! I'll Swim in lakes of your own blood! (Angel punches Pavayne and he lands slumped against a wall) Angel:You'll shut the hell up...

Glass Ghost Woman: Clothes you think you wear. (Spike's clothes disappear, and the ghosts surround him) Pavayne: William the Bloody. Scourge and destroyer. But scratch the surface... Armless Ghost Woman: Little nancy still crying for his mother. Pavayne: Know all your hiddens. Dirty red things you've done. Then fell in love, won himself a soul. No more dirty things. Thinks himself special. Glass Ghost Woman: Thinks it matters. Hanging Ghost Man: (Whispers) Hell still waits. Pavayne: Knows he deserves it like all the others.

Pavayne:Hell always hungers for the wicked, boy. And it's feeding time.

Fred: Should we hold hands? Psychic: Only if you're lonely.

Fred: I've never seen anything like you. Spike: Bet you say that to all the spirits.

Spike: I'd give you a hand with that but... (Spike moves his hand through a jar)

Spike: Is this the part where I say, "Who's there?" and something creepy happens?

Angel: Welcome to Hell.

Pavayne: (while choking Fred) There's hope for you yet boy. Spike: Maybe not. (pushes Pavayne into the machine)

Spike: You and me, together again. Hope and Crosby. Stills and Nash. Chico and the – Angel: Yeah, are we done? Spike: Never much for small talk, were you? Always too busy trying to perfect that brooding block-of-wood mystique. God, I love that. Angel: Not as much as I loved your non-stop yammering. Spike: The way you always had to be the big swingy, swaggerin' around, barkin' orders. Angel: Never listening. Spike: Always interrupting. Angel: And your hair, what colour do they call that, radioactive? Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil. Angel: Cared for you less. Spike: Fine. Angel: Good. (A long pause.) Angel: There was one thing about you. Spike: Really? Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I – I liked your poems. Spike: You like Barry Manilow.

Angel: I just want you to be careful, Fred, because I know how charming Spike can be. Eve : He is quite the dish, with those eyes... Fred : And the hair and the cheeks and--what do you think I am, stupid? I know he's been playing me with the looks and the smiles. I'm not some idiot school girl with a crush.

Fred: He just saved the world, vampire with a soul, fighting for the good of humanity. Ring anything? He's just like you, a champion. Angel: God, I really hate that word.

Angel: Last conduit took the form of that creepy little girl. No telling what the new one's decided to look like. Gunn: Actually it's not that bad...if you like cats. Angel: I'm kind of a dog person.

Spike: You're right. I do deserve to go to Hell. But not today. Pavayne: You dare! Spike: Quite a bit, mate. Reality bends to desire. That was it, right? That's why I could touch Fred, write your name in the glass. All I had to do was want it bad enough. And guess what I want to do now, you prissy son of a bitch!

Spike: I'm not gonna end up like Pavayne, cheating Hell any way he could, no matter who it hurt. Fred: Just proves what I've been telling everybody. Spike: That I'm a handsome devil who brightens the place up? Fred: That you're worth saving.

Fred: I've been working on a theory. Well, more of a hunch, actually, but I think I'm getting close. Spike: To making me a real boy again?

Fred: It won't be like Angel's thing with the prophecy, but... Spike: What prophecy? Fred: The shan-shoe-ha something or 'nother. Says that if Angel helps enough people, he gets to be human again. Spike: Oh. Really. Good for him.

Fred: It's about doing what's right. Remember?

Spike: Vampire ghost here, you sod. I bloody well invented 'afraid of the dark.'

Spike: Don't kill him, if he becomes a spirit again we'll never stop him. Angel: Fine, no killing. Just a whole lot of bruising.

Gunn: Got it. The dark soul. Angel: What's it say? Gunn: Not a lot. There are over thirty two hundred references, four of them are about you. Angel: What!? Give me that. Wesley: This is getting us nowhere. Angel: Well that's not fair, I didn't even have a soul when I did that.

Lorne: (on the phone) Stop crying stop crying. It's OK if you've put on a couple of pounds since casting. They can't just...no no just put the pills down. I'll straighten this out, if I can't I'll take a handful myself.

Angel: I know Spike better than anyone, and he only cares about himself. Fred: And Buffy. Eve: Oh this is getting interesting. Angel: You're right...he does care about Buffy. So where do you think he's going to run off to as soon as his fresh new feet hit the ground?

Spike: How long have you known I was there? Fred: Just..since the lobby.

Fred: He's slipping into hell. Gunn: Kinda figured. Wesley: Of course. Gunn: Where else would he be headed?

Psychic: Clear your minds (surveying the gang) Which, judging by the looks of you, won't be that hard.

Wesley: Angel does have a point. Spike has been unintentionally disapparating more and more frequently. Gunn: Give him 20 minutes. He'll be popping up next to you in the bathroom, making cracks about your... Am I the only one he does that to?