Angel Season 5 Episode 5

Lorne: Stop it! Stop killing! Listen to me, Me! (his hulking alter ego knocks him down) Wow, I must really hate myself.

Wesley: Lorne's sleep should be in here... somewhere.
Fred: Lorne's sleep. Looking for Lorne's sleep. You know, I think we have pretty interesting lives.
Wesley: I'd say that's true, given the average—
Fred: And I'm having such a good time right now. We should do stuff like this more often. You know, just hang out like we used to. Friend stuff.
Wesley: Absolutely. Frankly, I always— I always thought we'd be better friends than we are.
Fred: Oh, we should be. Let's be better friends than we are right now. (hugs Wes with enthusiasm, smiling and giggling)
Wesley: Great.
Fred: You know, share stuff, talk to each other, tell each other what we're thinking.
Wesley: Yes, that would be—I would—
Fred: It would be nice. We could be confidantes. Confiding confidentially.

Spike: That's one bitchin big suit!

Eve: Which brings up another point - your employees.
(Harmony enters)
Angel: Also evil!
Harmony: Here's your blood, bossy.
(Angel stares at her.)
Harmony: Ahem, "boss."

Angel: OK, listen, I understand the whole "keeping up appearances" concept, but everyone coming to this thing is unrepentant, dyed-in-the-wool evil.
Lorne: Angel, a good host just doesn't make these sort of judgements.
Angel: We don't know how many of them are holding grudges against us, or against each other. It's a perfect recipe for an out-of-control bloodbath.
Lorne: You're describing every good party I've ever been to.

Lorne: And believe me, milkdud, speaking as the head of your PR Department, we need all the face we can get.
Angel: Milkdud?
Lorne: Said with affection...

Lorne: Sorry to interrupt, not to be a pest, but I just want to go over a little stratigo, amigo.
Gunn: Uh, sorry?
Lorne: Umm, you're my big gun, Gunn. Ace in hole. Ball in pocket. You're the key on my kite-string.
Gunn: O-kayyyy...

Wesley: This isn't good. "The effects of long-term sleeplessness on the subconscious mind of an empath can be catastrophic."
Fred: Catastrophic sounds not good...

Eve: Simply put, this is a morale thing.
Harmony: Good luck. Morale around here stinks.
Angel: What?
Harmony: Uh-huh. Everybody out there thinks you suck. Well, come on, boss They're all out there sweating through their matsudas, worried if you're gonna axe them or, you know, axe them.
Angel: OK, look, hey!. I haven't...OK, I may have...killed...maybe a couple of them
Lorne: And clients...And potential clients.

Spike:In my day no self-respecting creature of the night went out on All Hallows Eve. We left that to the poseurs, the blighters who had to dress up and try to be scary.

Eve: Were we having some gentleman's time?
Angel: Gentleman's?
Eve: I mean, I understand. You're running the whole circus now, a lot of pressure, especially with your hands-on policy. No pun intended. I'm sure you could use a release.
Angel: No releasing, just bathing. That's what one does after bashing open a demonic pinata full of rancid Tabasco.

Harmony: They shot Lorney-Toons!!!

Fred: (drunk) Hey buddy, you want a piece of me? Yeah, that's right! Keep walkin! You walk alone! You walk alone!

Lorne: Angel? Angel? We gotta-we gotta have a conflab. Muy importante! It's about the party. I've done all I can do for the big to-do, but we still got a few bugs to comb out of the cootie garage.
Angel: (looks askance)
Lorne: A bridge too far? Let me try again.

Employee: Man, this is lame. I mean, where's the ritual sacrifice? How do you get the ball rolling without a sacrifice?

Lorne: What's this? "Wolfram and Hart want to be up your alley?" It sounds like a bus station pick-up line! Change it... Second thought, burn it. Grab yourself a bagel or something, too. You look a little waxy.

Knox: How do you know your spellcasters didn't screw up the casting?
Wesley: Because I went over the work. And I got the knowing feeling you get when you know something.

Spike: Hey! Angel's gettin some! Good on you mate!

Gunn: Oh, and your chair.
Angel: What?
Gunn: Don't sit in it. I already called janitorial.
Angel: Why can't I -?
Spike: You pissed in the big man's chair? That's fantastic!
Gunn: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
Spike: What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous.

Lorne: Look at the dance floor. The only thing on it is Harmony. (turns to Harmony) Keep pushing that envelope baby!

Angel: I'm brooding.
Lorne: You're watching hockey!
Angel: Yeah, but my team is losing.

Angel :(shaking the archduke's hand) And you look...well I don't need to tell you how awesome you look. You know how awesome you look. He knows how awesome he looks!

Fred: I am totally drunkfaced.
Wesley: Cause you can't hold your...what are you drinking again?
Fred: Nothing.
Wesley: You can't hold that.
Fred: Well, how much have you had?
Wesley: Well, about a third of a half of this beer.

Angel: Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
Gunn: God I hope so!

Angel: And Eve, you stay here with me and we'll have more sex.
Eve: I'm on it.

Angel: Eve. So I guess we should, I don't know, talk?
Eve: About what?
Angel: About what happened back there with us.
Eve: Angel, it's not like this is the first time I've had sex under a mystical influence. I went to U.C. Santa Cruz.

Wesley: Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on? Charles, you just peed on my shoes.
Gunn: I'll be damned. That's weird.

Lorne: (re: party) Yeah. You know, Angel, I--I don't have have superhuman strength, and I'm not a fighter. Quantum physics makes me nauseous, I barely made a passing grade at mystical studies, but I'm on your team. This is something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help you, even if you don't.