Angel Season 5 Episode 22

Gunn: Damn! How did I know the fang boys would pull through? You're lucky we're on the same side though cause my game was tight.
(His hand is covered with blood from his injuries)
Spike: You're supposed to wear that red stuff on the inside, Charlie-boy.

Angel: You haven't heard a word I've said. For, like... years back.
Lindsey: Well, you get a little speechy, all right? I breeze out. I got the Cliff notes.

Gunn: (referring to Illyria) Move like this, wouldn't hate having Blue Thunder in our corner.

Hamilton: Did you really think you were going to kill Archduke Sebassis?
Angel: No...I think I already did. Spiked his drink. Figured you're the one I needed to spend time with.
Hamilton: Why? So I could kill you?
Angel: Well, I thought it would be going better than this.

Lorne: Hey uh, Angel uh, I'll do this last thing for you, for us, but then I'm out. And you won't find me in the alley afterwards. Hell, you won't find me at all. Do me a favor, don't try.

Gunn: What if I told you it doesn't help? What would you do if you found out none of it matters. That it's all controlled by forces more powerful and uncaring than we can conceive and they'll never let it get better down here. What would you do?
Anne: I'd get this truck packed before the new stuff gets here. Wanna give me a hand?
Gunn: I do.

Angel: I want you all to do something for me, for yourselves: take the day off.
Spike: What?
Gunn: Angel, if we're planning to assassinate the power elite of the apocalypse tonight, shouldn't we be cowboying up?
Angel: We'll be ready, but today, I want you guys to go out. Live. Do whatever you want. Live the day like it's your last...because it probably is.

Wes: Your influence over this world is over. The rest of the circle will wither and die like you're about to.
Vail: You don't know who you're dealing with, do you boy? (Vail absorbs Wes's fire ball) I mean really. I crap better magic than this. Now then, let me show you what a real wizard can do.

Wesley: There is no perfect day for me, Illyria. There is no sunset or painting or finely aged scotch that's going to sum up my life and make tonight any... There is nothing that I want.
Illyria: You want to be with Fred.
Wesley: Yes. Yes, that's where I'd be if I could.

Wesley: (To Illyria) The first lesson a Watcher learns is to separate truth from illusion. Because in the world of magics, it's the hardest thing to do. The truth is that Fred is gone. To pretend anything else would be a lie. And since I don't actually intend to die tonight, I won't accept a lie.

Angel: If the next words out of your mouth are "Kill Spike," I just might have to kiss you.

Vail: (to Illyria) How very touching his meaningless death was. But this fight was never for mortals. Take your best shot little girl.

Spike: What do you think all this means for that Shanshu bugaboo? If we make it through this, does one of us get to be a real boy?
Angel: Who you kidding? We're not gonna make it through.
Spike: Well, long as it's not you.

(as the building starts rumbling)
Eve: What the hell's going on?
Angel: Looks like we're getting kicked out of the garden, Eve.
Eve: Where's Lindsey?
Angel: He's not coming for you.
Eve: You...
Angel: It's time to go.
(Angel runs out while Eve remains behind)
Eve: (grim tone) Go where?

Spike: And in terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
Spike: Bit more specific?
Angel: Well personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon. Let's go to work!

Spike: Hello, Junior. The name's Spike. And lucky for you I'm on a strict diet.

Harmony: Oh, my God.
Angel: Hamilton...
Harmony: He's not my boyfriend! I mean I certainly didn't betray you!
Angel: Drop the act, Harm.
Harmony: It's not an act, I'm really this nervous!
Angel: I knew you'd turn on me, I just didn't know when.
Harmony: What do you mean you knew?
Angel: Loyalty really isn't high on your list.
Harmony: Oh, is that right? I'll have you know I am damn loyal, dumbass.
Angel: You betrayed me. You are betraying me now, even as we are talking.
Harmony: Because you never have any confidence in me!
Angel: No, because you have no soul!
Harmony: I would if you had confidence in me!
Angel: Get out of the building.
Harmony: Are you firing me?
Angel: Among other things, yes.
Harmony: Do you think I could get a recommendation?
Angel: Yeah, okay.
Harmony: But see, if you don't so much live as the other thing, how...
Angel: It's already in the desk.

Harmony: (her last line) Good luck. Um... may the best man win?

(Building rumbles.)
Connor: Uh, that's not good, is it?
Angel: Wolfram & Hart. Looks like they're taking the gloves off.
Connor: What do we do?
Angel: You go home.
Connor: Huh?
Angel: This is my fight.
Connor: That's some serious macho--Aah!
(Building begins to collapse)
Angel: Go home...now.
Connor: They'll destroy you.
Angel: As long as you're okay, they can't. Go.

Lindsey: If you want me, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey. (a beat) I'm thinking about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: Yeah, I think I'd be a lot more comfortable if you did.

Gunn: (after killing Senator Brucker and the rest of her vampire aides gang up on him) And y'all wonder why people don't vote.

Angel: This may come out a little pretentious but... one of you will betray me. (Spike raises his hand) Wes.
Spike: Oh. Can I deny you three times?

Sebassis: The circle does not abide secrets.
Angel: Which is interesting for a secret society.

Vail: Aah! Sebassis! Your manservant has become tangled in my bodily fluids again!
Sebassis' Slave: Eeep!
Angel: My people are the problem?

Angel: I don't remember what it was like... being human. It was too long ago.
Harmony: Not so great. Zits. Dandruff. Mortality. Although I do remember... my heart. And the way it would thump when I kissed a really hot boy for the first time. That was cool.

Angel: Need to get some things done, pay a quiet visit to Archduke Sebassis. I'd like to keep our liaison out of the loop.
Harmony: Out of the loop? That's where I live.

Angel: (to Lindsey about W&H) Maybe they're not there to be beat. Maybe they're there to be fought. Maybe fighting them is what makes human beings so remarkably strong.

Angel: I happen to be the greatest mass-murderer you've ever met.
Lindsey: Never given you props for that, have I?

Lorne: (to Angel) Yeah. Say, any other tips on how to be a hero we could share with the boys and girls at home?

Lorne: (singing, living the day as if it were his last)
If I ruled the world,
Every day would be the first day of spring,
Every heart would have a new song to sing,
And we'd sing of the joy every morning would bring...

Spike: (in a bar, his last day) Ahh, nice crowd.
Bartender: It can get pretty ugly in here, I gotta warn you.
Spike: What I'm after. Couple more shots of courage, and I may make my presence felt.
Bartender: Your funeral.
Spike: Well, I never had a proper one.

Connor: So she's a werewolf.
Angel: And an art student. She does this great pottery. (grins) She made me a vase.

Connor: (to Angel) Yeah, they're mixed in there with the new ones. Kind of like, uh...a bad dream I had, I guess. A very strange and violent -- at times, inappropriately erotic -- dream.

Lindsey: What are you thinking about?
Eve: Angel.
Lindsey: You simply couldn't have said a worse thing than that.

Gunn: I was hoping it'd be vamps. I haven't dusted nearly enough this year. (to Spike) No offense.
Spike: That's all right.

Angel: Spike.
Spike: Right. First off I'm not wearing any amulets, no bracelets, broaches, beads, pendants, pins or rings.
Angel: Fine. All you need is a rattle.
Spike: Aah, the baby.

Lindsey: You don't trust me. You don't think a man can change?
Lorne: It's not about what I think. This was Angel's plan.
Lindsey: Come on. I could sing for you.
Lorne: I've heard you sing.
(takes out a gun with a silencer and shoots Lindsey twice in the chest)
Lindsey: Why, why did you...
Lorne: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be.
Lindsey: You kill me? (collapses to the floor) A flunky? I'm not just... Angel... kills me. You don't... Angel...
(his body goes limp)
Lorne: Good night, folks.

Angel: (punches Hamilton) Did that hurt at all?
Hamilton: Little bit.

Illyria: You will last ten minutes at best.
Gunn: Lets make them memorable then.

Angel: What are you doing here?
Conner: You come for coffee and the world's not ending? Please!

Illyria: Wesley is dead. I'm feeling grief for him, I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence!
Spike: (Seeing massive horde of enemies) Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: Among other things.

(Spike reads poetry at a bar.)
Spike: "My soul is wrapped in harsh repose,
Midnight descends in raven-colored clothes,
But soft...Behold!
A sunlight beam,
Cutting a swath of glimmering gleam.
My heart expands,
'Tis grown a bulge in it,
Inspired by your beauty... effulgent."
Man: Yeah! (applause) That was great, man.
Spike: Thank You. That was for Cecily. This next one's called The Wanton Folly of me Mum.

Hamilton: Why do you keep fighting? You signed away your Shanshu. There's nothing in it for you anymore.
Angel: People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do.
(Hamilton punches Angel across the room)
Hamilton: Yeah, but we won't care.
(Conner hits Hamilton, knocking him through the window)
Conner: Care about that, Dress-for-Less?

Illyria: I will shred my adversaries. I'll pull their eyes out just enough to turn them towards their mewling, mutilated faces.
Wesley: You're a very inspirational person, have I mentioned that?

Gunn: Okay, you take the thirty thousand on the left.

Hamilton: Let me say this as clearly as I can. You cannot beat me. I am a part of them. The Wolf, the Ram and the Hart. Their strength flows through my veins. My blood is filled with their ancient power.
Angel: Can you pick out the one word you probably shouldn't have said? (bites him, punches him) Wow! You really are full of it.

Lindsey: Those guys were chumps.
Lorne: Now they're chunks.

Illyria: I'll make trophies of their spines.
Angel: Good to have you on the team.

Lindsey: You gave up immortality for me. It's like some kind of fairy tale.
Eve: We don't live in a fairy tale.

Connor: So vampires really don't get the concept of 'jokes'.
Angel: I get the concept of jokes. I was at the taping of the first Carol Burnett show. Tim Conway was on fire. It was special.

Conner: Have you ever written a resume before? Ever?
Angel: No. But I have very nice handwriting.
Conner: You girl.

Illyria: (To Gunn) Try not to die. You are not unpleasant to my eyes.