Angel

Holland: Something you're supposed to prevent. Now, what was that? Angel: The apocalypse. Holland: Yes, the apocalypse, of course. Another one of those. Well, it's true, we do have one scheduled. And I imagine if you were to prevent it you would save a great many people. Well, you should do that, then. Absolutely, I wasn't thinking. Of course, all those people you save from that apocalypse will then have the next one to look forward to, but hey, it's always something, isn't it?

Virginia: Creepy crawlies and scary monsters I can handle. But guns? Kinda makes it all a little too real, you know? Wesley: The gun was fired by a zombie, if it makes you feel any better.

Denver: To kill the Kleynach and get the ring, you need the glove. Angel: Okay, now you're making this up.

Denver: You know, you changed my life that day. I mean, a vampire comes into my place looking to kill a demon to save human beings? Well, I figured if something like that could happen there really must be good in the world. Angel: Right, so you never heard of this term before, "Home Office"? Denver: Hey, how'd that go, anyway? It was a Thesulac paranoia demon, if I recall. Angel: Yeah, I don't know. I think it killed everyone there. Denver: ...Oh. Well, the point is, you tried. Angel: Actually, I pretty much walked out and let the demon have the place and everyone in it.

Wesley: Clearly it's easier for the Sharps to cast us as con artists rather than accept the grim reality that Skilosh spawn nearly hatched full-grown out of their child's skull. Gunn: Gee, wonder why?

Holland: Welcome to the Home Office. Angel: This isn't... Holland: Oh, you know it is. You know that better than anyone. Things you've seen. Things you've -- well, done. You see, if there wasn't evil in every single one of them out there --why, they wouldn't be people. They'd all be angels.

Angel: Why fight? Holland: That's really the question you should be asking yourself, isn't it? See, for us, there is no fight. Which is why winning doesn't enter into it. We go on no matter what. Our firm has always been here... in one form or another. The Inquisition. The Khmer Rouge. We were there when the very first cave man clubbed his neighbor. See, we're in the hearts and minds of every single living being. And that, friend, is what's making things so difficult for you. See, the world doesn't work in spite of evil, Angel. It works with us. It works because of us.

Angel: You're not gonna win. Holland: Well... no. Of course we aren't. We have no intention of doing anything so prosaic as "winning." (laughs)

Angel: You're... Holland: Holland Manners. Angel: ...not alive. Holland: Oh, no. I'm quite dead. Unfortunately my contract with Wolfram & Hart extends well beyond that.

Angel: Is it bad? The Host/Lorne: Oy. But I really can't divulge to you what I read in another being. But I can tell you what I overheard in the men's restroom.

Cordelia: (about Angel) I mean if it was anybody else I would just say 'get laid already! Wesley: Cordelia... Cordelia: (pacing) But, no, not him. One decent boff and he switches to evil psycho vamp. Which, in a way, would be better for everyone. Better for him because he'd get some, and better for us because then we could (makes a staking motion) stake him afterwards.

(Darla drives the sword through Denver and into Angel) Darla: That's right, Angelus, go towards the bleeding mortal, because that's smart.

Darla: You always have a shower when you come back from that place. I don't know why... you're never dirty. Lindsey: I'm always dirty.

Angel: You know... I've... Well, I really couldn't help but notice the goats. Yeah, a lot of goats. Goats, many. Those are goats, guys!

Denver: Do you realize what this Home Office probably is? Angel: I think I have a pretty good idea. Denver: Hell. Why the heck would you want to go to Hell?

Lindsey: Either we pass the review or we won't. You really think a few last-minute dark rites and rituals are going to make a difference now? Lilah: Everyone else seems to think so. I heard Henderson actually pulled her firstborn out of company day care to offer it up to... Brownnoser, my mother was right. I should have had children.

Lorne: Look, all these messy rites and rituals crashing all over town? They don't mean anything. Nervous children trying to score as many brownie points as they can before daddy gets home. I got news – Daddy? Not impressed.

The Host/Lorne: Almost anything that can manifest, in order to move in this dimension, can be killed. Kinda the downside to bein' here. That, and the so called musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

The Host/Lorne: I think the general angst is not so much about the review, but more about the reviewer. And, let's just say it ain't Rex Reed. Angel: What is it? The Host/Lorne: It's evil... it's dark... it's merciless. Actually, now that I say it out loud, it sounds an awful lot like Rex, doesn't it?

Lilah: I dug up everything I could find on the last seventy-five year review. It's all in there. Makes the Christmas purge of '68 look like fun old times. Nearly half of mid-management was sacked. And Lindsey, they used real sacks.

Angel: In the larger sense, I really don't give a crap. Holland: Now, I don't think that's true. Be honest. You've got the tiniest bit of "give a crap" left.