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Ratio: Honk!
Grufus: Ratio's right, man. This Angel cat must've been the dude that broke into the "Don't" room last night.
Ratio: Honk!
Grufus: That's what I'm sayin'! He messed with the nest egg.
Polo: Stupid jackass. Might as well walk into a nuclear reactor and lick the core!
-
Polo: Ok, which one of you short bus bastards turned the CEO of Wolfram & Hart into a puppet?!
-
Harmony: Oh my God! Angel you're a...
Puppet Angel: Shut Up! What are you people looking at?! Well...
Spike: They're looking at the wee little puppet man.
-
Grufus: Looks like Polo has a case of the grumpies!
-
Wesley: It's clearly some sort of hex. Or a powerful warding magic.
Lorne: Maybe its some type of puppet cancer.
Puppet Angel: I do not have puppet cancer!
-
Angel: Wes, it wasn't just breakfast. You know, it was, uh... breakfast. I mean, here we had this very good, very platonic thing going on, and then all of a sudden, out of the blue...
Wesley: Are you blind? Angel, there are things called signals. Odorless, yes. Invisible, certainly. But unmistakable, like the ones she's been casting your way for months.
Angel: No. I would have noticed.
Wesley: This isn't just from me. This comes from people who know. This comes from the ladies.
Angel: The ladies?
Wesley: Fred, Harmony, the girls in transcription. As Harmony put it, "Why else would a chick who's coming to spend three nights in a jail cell dress like it's her first date?"
Angel: Oh, God. The ladies are right.
-
Nina: Anyway, I was thinking... I mean, what are you doing for breakfast tomorrow?
Angel: Oh, you know, drinking blood.
-
Angel: Wes, put the Special Ops team on Red Alert!
Wesley: Red Alert?
Angel: I want helicopters and tear gas!
Gunn: Angel, we...
Angel: This is WAR!
Lorne: Angel, baby, muppet, pumpkin, um... this show is number one in it's time slot. Tykes love it all across the southland. We can't just toss a Jihad at their studio.
Angel: Ohh, right.
-
Angel: Harmony, get my call list.
Harmony: Um...
Angel: And Spike needs a car.
Spike: You heard the puppet.
-
Framkin: And if your intent is to pressure me, extort money, do any of the things your firm is famous for, well, I'm afraid you're in for a fight.
Lorne: Yeah? Well, a fight suits us just fine, Papa Smurf. We're gonna let the entire world know what you're up to.
Framkin: "Up to?" Gentlemen, I bring joy and laughter to children. You bring tax exemptions to nasty corporations, acquittals to the clearly guilty. Frankly, I doubt the world wants to hear from you.
-
(Puppet Angel banging remote control on the table)
Angel: Stupid, plastic, piece of crap!
-
(about Nina)
Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen?
Wesley: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy! That guy is charming and funny and...emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit and 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley: Get over it!
Angel: Why are you yelling at me?
Wesley: Because! Angel, if there's a woman out there, who you find truly attractive, who you think about, let's say, most of the time, who represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for, and who doesnt' view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on, you have to do something about it.
-
Lorne: Nina definitely wants a piece of Angel cake.
-
(On the Smile Time puppets)
Gunn: These particular devils have a very distinctive MO.
Fred: They've done this before?
Gunn: Seen the last few seasons of Happy Days?
-
Spike:Hey big guy, I need another car. Last one went in the drink...
Angel: Spike.
Spike: Look at you.
Angel: Spike. Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: You're a...
Angel: Spike...
Spike: You're a bloody puppet!
-
Polo: We eat babies' lives!
Grufus: And uphold a certain standard of quality edutainment.
Polo: Screw edutainment! The life-force we're pulling out of these snot-nosed kids is one hundred percent pure innocence, dickwad!
-
Nina: (To Puppet Angel after first seeing him) Are you all right?
Angel: I'm made of felt, ( Pulls off his nose, he sounds "stuffed up")
and my nose comes off (replaces nose). . .ahh. ( shrugs)
-
Framkin: We have a song here at Smile Time that reminds me of your courage and pluck. It's called, uh, "Courage and Pluck." Goes a little like this: Ohh, courage and pluck, courage and pluck...
-
Framkin: No name calling at Smile Time.
Lorne: Bad person!
-
Gunn: You turned my boss into a frickin' puppet!
-
Fred: Oh my God, Angel, you're cute!
Angel: Fred... don't.
Fred: But... oh, look at your little hands. And the hair!
Angel: Hey! You're fired.
-
Angel: Stupid thread...stupid needle...stupid fingers!
-
(While Puppet Angel attacks, and subdues, Spike in the Elevator)
Angel: Stupid, limey, piece of crap!
-
Angel: Ah! Geez! No! No, Nina! Bad Nina! Ah! Gah! Ahh!
-
Wesley: This transformation may have altered your stress response mechanism.
Angel: What?
Gunn: He's saying you have the proportionate excitability of a puppet your size.
-
Polo: I'm gonna tear you a new puppet-hole, bitch!
-
Angel: Lorne!
Lorne: My little prince! What did they do to you?
Angel: Nina...tried to...eat me!
Lorne: Medic! You're gonna make it, Angel, just don't stop fighting! Doctor! Is there a Gepetto in the house?
-
Nina: Is there a reason why you won't look at me?
Angel: 'Cause I'm under my desk.
-
Polo: So, you got a little demon in you.
Angel: I got a lot of demon in me. (vamps out)
-
Puppet: It's smile time!
Angel: No, it's time to kick your puppet ass all the way back to hell.