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Death: I am Death. And I hereby declare you to be living-imparied. Hence you must go with me to a dark kingdom of no return.
Wakko: Okay, that sounds fun. When do we leave? Do bears live there? Want some meatball grease? (Put some grease on Death's finger)
Death: Don't do that. It attracts ants.
-
Death: (His head is now a flaming skull) Listen, you nasty little munchkins! I don't get paid extra for bringing tourists along, so bug off! (Yakko and Dot scream and run off) There, I said it. I feel better.
-
Yakko: (to Death) Look! It's Merv Griffin!
-
(Death has just declared all three Warners dead)
Yakko: That means we'll all be like a family!
Wakko: Can we call you "Dadoo"?
Dot: Hey, pops, can we stay up past ten?
Yakko: Can we watch the adult channel?
Wakko/Yakko: HELLOOOO, NURSE!
-
Dot: We win! But you put up a heck of a fight for a literary personification of the state of non-being. (to audience) I read that in Cosmo.
-
Yakko: Guess who.
Death: Uhh...Crispin Glover
Yakko: Nope.
Death: Kathy Lee Gifford?
Yakko: Naw, you're way off.
Death: That Urkel kid!
Yakko: Hey ! You peeked!
-
(They are about to begin the game of checkers)
Death: Feel free to move first. It really doesn't matter. I haven't lost at checkers since time began.
Yakko: When was that?
Death: I think it was a Tuesday. Very few people know that.
-
(Death is about to play a life-or-death game of checkers against Yakko and Dot)
Death: I win, Wakko goes with me. YOU win, and the three of you stay together forever. Agreed?
Yakko: We accept.
Dot: To accept is to yeild.
Yakko: To yeild is to allow oncoming traffic the right of way.
Dot: Your breath is like the breeze off a landfill.
Yakko: Food particles are wedged between your teeth.
-
Yakko and Dot: (hanging onto Death's cloak) But we wanna stay together! Waaaaahhh!
Death: (trying to pry Yakko and Dot off) Stop acting like big babies!
Yakko: Hey! We are NOT big babies!
Dot: Yeah! THESE are big babies!
(Yakko and Dot pull out two really huge babies that are at least 500 pounds; they wail loudly, which breaks Death's hourglass.)
-
Dot: WE WANNA STAY TOGETHER!
Death: I'm a bonded carrier. I can't bring unauthorized personnel.
Yakko: Whyyy?
Death: Our insurance won't cover you in case of an accident.
Dot: Whyyy?
Death: Because, we can't afford the insurance premiums!
Yakko and Dot: Whyyy?
Death: (irritated) It's not in the budget!
Yakko and Dot: (smiling) Whyyy?
-
Yakko: Oh pleeese don't separate us mister Death! We love each other! We're a family! A set! Like Civil War chess pieces from the Franklin Mint!
-
(Yakko has just pleaded that the siblings not be separated)
Death: (reading from Robert's Rules of Death) As you will clearly note in section five, subsection nine, paragraph two, first sentence...I quote:
Dot: I love storytime!
-
Yakko: Hey, mister, are you about to drag our brother off to a bleak, neather realm of despair, where the future is nothing but a sea of anguish and horrible misery?
Death: Ja.
Yakko and Dot: WE WANNA GO, TOO!
Dot: (to audience) Though I haven't a thing to wear.
-
Yakko: All is strange and vague.
Dot: Are we dead?
Yakko: Or is this Ohio?
-
Dot: So, what's death like?
Wakko: Pretty boring. I've all ready hummed all of the songs I know.