Tony: Some people watch porn. . .
Andy: You watch men chopping pork.
Tony: A 'rainbow of pork' ... is there anything more beautiful?
(when asked to join a boxer in the ring)
Tony: Hell, why not, I spent two years on the Food Network ["A Cook's Tour"] ... if that didn't turn my head to mush, nothing will.
Tony: This is the first time I've been in a gym since ... well, actually I didn't go in high school either.
Tony: If you've ever been hit with a boxing glove. . . it really, really, really hurts.
Tony: Just because I smoke Marlboros occasionally doesn't make me the Marlboro man. (before riding a horse)
Tony: Food tastes better when you're not wearing shoes.
Tony: The thing about the lobster is he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like doll's eyes. When you pick him up, he doesn't even seem to be living, until he claws you and then you hear that terrible high pitch screaming. But, I digress . . .
Tony: Just as Ahab had his Moby Dick and Chief Brody had his great white shark, I too have a mythic sea beast.
Ahab is the captain hunting the great whale in Herman Melville's 1851 classic American novel, Moby Dick.