Dr. Weird, Steve (Seasons 1-3)
Frylock, Various Voices
Master Shake, Various Voices
Meatwad, Carl, Various Voices
Ezekial is really about 4000 years old.
It is confirmed here that Shake has never had sex before.
Without the first K, the Chess Dragon tells Ezekial to "SUCK IT."
Shake is 30 or 40 years old.
In this episode Meatwad, Shake, and Carl almost kill Ezekial. Frylock is the only one that doesn't try.
Master Shake: I know that's why I did it. We can't afford college.
Meatwad: Shake's right Zeke. I'm so sorry. (hits Ezekiel with a brick)
Frylock: Will you both hold on? No one's going to college, alright? When he gets to be old enough, he can work security at the mall.
Ezekiel: Yea! Security at the mall! I'm gonna shine a flashlight!
Frylock: Meatwad, go cover your man.
Meatwad: Shut up boy I got my man boxed in over here! You mind your own damn business.
Meatwad: He's inside... Slaying the chess dragon.
(Cuts to Ezekial facing Chess dragon)
Chess Dragon: K..E..2..2..E..3
Ezekial: Bishop E5 to E4. Check.
(Meatwad and Shake walk in. Chess dragon looks at board then moves his king all over the board knocking down Ezekial pieces.)
Chess Dragon: K..E..3..2..E..103
Ezekial: You can't do that! That square does not exist! That's a blatant violation of the governing rules!
Chess Dragon: K..S..U..C..2..K..I..T
Ezekial: Yea ha ha. Checkmate. Your the hippopotamus!
(Chess Dragon gets up and starts breathing fire while running out of the room.)
Meatwad: Alriiight. Yeah eZ. Hey, no buddy could beat chess dragon. Not even me. And I'm retarded.
Meatwad: Awww, is this your bastard?
Shake: I tapped that.
Frylock: Tapped what?
(Ezekial knocks at Carl's door, Carl answers)
Carl: Next door... Jackass.
(Ezekial knocks at the Aqua Teens' door, Shake answers)
Shake: No, no! You're, uh... you're probably thinking the guy next door. Big, fat guy, you take care.
(Ezekial walks back to Carl's house, a click is heard and Carl appears with a shotgun in his hands, pointing it at Ezekial; Ezekial runs away)
Carl: That's right, get lost!
Master Shake: Look, yes, I have banged hundreds of broads... ... internationally. But know this! I wrap my rascal two times... because I like it to be JOYLESS and without sensation... as a way of punishing supermodels.
Frylock: Yeah well see what a DNA test would say about that.
Master Shaker: Oh that's where it starts. Then pretty soon... HE'S GONNA WANT sixth five cents for bus fair... liquor for his stomach. You know I counseled DOGS in better shape then you... free-jacking on around here like your Mick Jagger! Listen... why don't you go hustle on down to the soup kitchen, Mick!
(Ezekiel breaks out in tears and runs out of the house screaming)
Master Shake: Ya gotta wash your hands before you pick a baby up. He can see the bacteria burning into his flesh.
Ezekial: Daddy no want me. I'm gonna take a bus to Reno.
Frylock: Oh no, that won't do.
Ezekial: Daddy, daddy, up please! Daddy, daddy, up please! Yay! Daddy, daddy, daddy, up please please please..
Meatwad: Let's name him... Jesus... Ezekial... Jesus. That's from the Bible.
Master Shake: The only reason God doesn't erase you from the face of the earth is because you amuse him somehow.
Patton Oswalt - the voice of Ezekial - is credited under the pseudonym of "Shecky Chucklestein."
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