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George Lowe: By following the rules, you're guaranteed to make a mediocre product that no one can relate to!
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Carl: You... uh... you sure you wasn't raped?
Meatwad: No, but I was raped with joy.
Carl: So... there's gonna be another one of you animals running around here? Great. We'll start a zoo. Super.
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Meatwad: Uh, huh. Who's the J-man?
Frylock: Ya know... starts with a J, son of G... died and went to H... on the C?
Meatwad: Died on the C... Comode, comode! Elvis!
Frylock: No.
Meatwad: It's Elvis!
Frylock: But he was a king. And he did live in a Graceland of sorts. (sighs) He looks like Ted Nugent?
Meatwad: Oh, yeah, I know that old boy! It's Jes--
Frylock: Don't say it! Let's just call him.. GeeWhiz.
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(After Meatwad gets Carl's "gift")
Frylock: What the hell is this?!
Carl: Wha- it's a fishin' rod, 'ya see? It uh, it folds up, you know, you put it in your... I got about a hundred of them. Well, they make pretty good gifts if you don't, you know, give a crap about who you're giving them to.
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(after the Standards and Practices Video)
Frylock: And that, Meatwad, is why I can't say the J-word.
Meatwad: I don't understand any of this sh*t.
Frylock: That's okay, no one else will either. (smiles)
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Meatwad: Oh boy, I apologize. My horomones are going nuts. Now please, if you would, get the (Beep) out of my way. I mean how many times do I gotta (Beep) write "ice cream" on this (Beep)-ing list before someone gets their (Beep) in gear and brings home the (Beep)-ing ice cream? Maybe I should get a steak knife and etch it into your mother (Beep)-ing forehead! How hard can it (Beep) be? Ice Mother (BEEP)-ing cream! I guess that's the price I pay for living with two (Beep)-ing morons!
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Frylock: Well guess what? Meatwad's pregnant.
Meatwad: True that.
Frylock: Meatwad you can't possibly be pregnant!
Meatwad: Ye of little faith! How do you know that?
Frylock: First off, you're a ma...
(stares at Meatwad while Meatwad's smiling)
Frylock: Well you're kind of a...
I don't know, you're a male!
Meatwad: I am?! Awesome, that is so cool! I always wanted a gender!
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Shake: I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about Frodo and I wanna know what he's up to.
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Announcer: That's right, a happy and colorful rainbow. Although not nearly as funny, it's guaranteed not to offend the black people.
Voice: NO! UNACCEPTABLE!
Announcer: Did I say black? I meant to say minorities.
Voice: ACCEPTABLE!
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Nugent: Oh, man! Sorry about that, I thought it was a varmint!