Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1

Carl: (coughs) When does the get high part start?!

Carl: This dude back where I worked at the, uh, Styrofoam peanut factory, like he converted the toilet into like a bong, and you just sort of put your face over the seat. It was pretty badass. I went in there, someone had used a Number Two, so I fish it out, load it up. Gotta do something to get through that shift. Later on, when I became an adult, I was thinkin', you know, "That's gross," but, man that bathroom was so awesome in high school.

Ignignokt: Fat man, do you desire the herb? Carl: Nah, nah, nah. I'm not a druggie, I don't buy that stuff. ...I mean, I'll do it if somebody passes it to me or whatever. Like that time I saw Styx at the Garden! With that big Mister Roboto! Oh, man! I got so arrested..that night. Why you got some? Ignignokt: No, but he has a lot of it.

Meatwad: Hoo, boy! What is that? Your colon? Get that out of your mouth. That's gross! You don't know where that's been! Master Shake: What?! I know-- I know exactly where it's been, man. Meatwad: Hi! I'm high! Heheheh, you get it Shake? This is awesome. Master Shake: YOu know what we need to do? We gotta get some instruments, take lessons, and learn to play them, and then we're gonna have the hottest jam of 'Comfortably Numb' that anyone has ever heard in their life!

Ignignokt: Stand by to revist the stone age. Master Shake: Yeah, the STONED age. Meatwad: Light it up, I'm goin' head first in this bitch. Master Shake: Like hell you are! I'm the one riddled with diseases! Meatwad: Well I need it too cause I got the disease.. and I need medication. Master Shake: Okay!

Ignignokt: Fryman, we have hidden four grams of cocaine in your room. Err: We did? Ignignokt: No, we didn't, Err. But we would. And we will tell the pigs that when they arrive. Err: Do the thing! The pigs will never find us! Ignignokt: For we are thin lines of deception! Err: Deceptinominon! Ignignokt: Err-no, other way. Err: Deceptinoitus! Ignignokt: Turn this way. Err: Oh. Ignignokt: No, other way. Third-- Err: I know how to do it, come on man. Master Shake: Hey, when we gonna fix my guacomole? Ignignokt: Come on, hippies. We are the dope-men. Err: Because we wear corderoy!

Master Shake: See? These guys got it and they're not even afflicted with my crippling glaucoma! Ignignokt: We have something worse.. Err: Butt cancer! Butt crack cancer! Ignignokt: And yeast infections Err: Yes! Ignignokt: Yeast unleashed in the east. Err: Check it! Frylock: Those aren't diseases. Ignignokt: Not anymore, Fryman. Err: The moonajuana scared it out of existence. Ignignokt: But we have other diseases we need to prevent. Err: That's correct! Ignignokt: So you know. Still got to smoke.

Meatwad: (to Ignignokt) You guys want to hit this? Ignignokt: No, thank you. That's a poisonous tire. Meatwad: What? Ignignokt: I mean, we are already very high.